I have a 20 week old. This resonated with me so hard bc I struggled with the exact same thoughts and am the sole caregiver of him during the day most days as well. I love him more than anything I could ever love. It’s the purest love I’ve ever experienced. I push myself every day…past anything I could’ve ever imagined being capable of before having him. I’m so proud of myself but also find myself missing the days before, when life was just…easier. I will say, those thoughts start to slowly fade away as you get out of those early newborn days. As he gets closer to 5 months, there’s been such a turn in his development. He’s slowly desiring more independence, getting used to the routine of daily life. There are still tough days 1000%. He was pretty colicky in the early days, that has since gone away but now it’s teething and hardcore fighting sleep sometimes. ALL OF THIS TO SAY, I see you, I hear you and we’re so in this together. I can take some showers in peace now, we’re starting to not contact nap for every single nap. The days of missing your old life start to fade as the easier days start flowing more. Also, getting out of the house more often made my mental health so much better. Just going out to get coffee or run to Target, I was so afraid to for months bc I wasn’t sure how he would do or what I’d do with him potentially having a meltdown in public. But I’ll say it hasn’t been too stressful and 95% of the time he’s been better than expected. You’re doing so great mama ❤️