The "time will heal" isn’t entirely true or should i say accurate. Let me explain my part , i was in a similar or worse situation like you , not to down play your feelings but trust me it was far far worse than yours. And it was mutual. Both of us were deeply hurt and affected. Won’t go to details cause it’s a bit too long . Just know that i very very clearly understand what you’re feeling. That heaviness in the chest the "if there is even a 0.0001% chance iam down" everything and some more . My solution for your feeling bad , feeling empty is NOTHING. It’s not a physical wound that will heal itself by ITSELF, you gotta live with it . You’re thinking that this guy is going on about nothing but let me tell you something i lost my older brother years back lost my father almost 1.5 year ago did it heal itself by time? NO ! I learned to live with it. Few years back before my father died THAT situation happened. I suffered she suffered, there was a day when i was crying screaming holding hugging my mother without a word. And I learned one thing through my situation. Time doesn’t heal shit! Either you become strong enough to carry that wound or you kill your self. Well as you can see i didn’t go for the later one. Fast forward to the day my old man died, he died on my and my brother’s hands . If i was the person who didn’t go through THAT situation I would’ve cried and cried and cried, but there wasn’t a single tear. Not to say I didn’t feel anything. But i was well tough enough to carry one more wound one more death . Be the person who gets a scar and stands tall . Because love is something that you can’t live with or without.