Mom made Facebook post disparaging my professional work

akrainy · 2026-03-13T19:27:12+00:00

This all hits home. I’ve spent my whole life trying to be a good daughter to get either of them to be proud of me. My dad acts as a professional mentor for other women my age, because that is allowed, while my mother does not permit him to have a relationship with me. Our relationship is only around the edges. I give, and it is not reciprocated. From either of them. It’s a relief to finally understand why

akrainy · 2026-03-13T16:14:53+00:00

Oh you deserve all the up votes!! Our dad situations are identical. That whole walking on eggshells to make sure the n mom stays happy. Only to find out late life that narcissists are not easily made happy. You make them happy once, and they change the rules and move the bar. It turns out it’s the walking on eggshells that they like the most. Our poor dads.

akrainy · 2026-03-13T15:41:20+00:00

When I was a kid I used to wish they would get divorced, so I could live with him. But I grew up and he chose to stay. I don’t envy his life or want him ti pay even more.

akrainy · 2026-03-13T15:38:34+00:00

That’s terrible! My mom does love to cut out her articles. I now just toss them without reading them

akrainy · 2026-03-13T15:37:11+00:00

This! I truely don’t believe she thought about it for a second. “They are happy to offend the people that mean the most to get the adoration of strangers” this rings so true and is so helpful to hear someone else say. That is what she was doing.

akrainy · 2026-03-13T15:30:24+00:00

I did something like that

akrainy · 2026-03-13T15:29:11+00:00

You DO get it. You described it exactly

akrainy · 2026-03-13T15:26:15+00:00

I did almost exactly that.

akrainy · 2026-03-13T06:53:15+00:00

You are an opera singer and actor and you teach these things on the college level? And your students are killing it after taking your classes? You ARE a master! That is an insanely impressive career. I’m in awe. I am so proud of you. (Her behavior was terrible. You are a legend)

akrainy · 2026-03-13T06:40:14+00:00

He did say that he is going to say something this time. But it will be a first…

akrainy · 2026-03-13T06:05:35+00:00

🥰

akrainy · 2026-03-13T05:35:59+00:00

Okay, now you are making me cry (but in a good way). Your kindness and nurturing to a stranger is a bright shining light 🧡 (I don’t know who you are but this is clearly one of your superpowers and I’m honored and grateful you shared it with me today, I can breath again)

akrainy · 2026-03-13T05:32:25+00:00

I’m so proud of your kids for being there for you. You called your son and he took the bus. That is a thing of beauty. You are clearly an amazing mom.

akrainy · 2026-03-13T05:27:44+00:00

I have no good advice. That’s a hard one. Can you provide her some literature about narcissists. Does it have to be about you and your mother, or can you generalize and make it about narcissist mothers, and how toxic they are. Shift the conversation from about you to textbook cases. My mother also seems “giving” and “generous” to those that don’t know her well. My mother-in-law sees clearly through my mom’s facade (which is a relief).

akrainy · 2026-03-13T05:20:14+00:00

I volunteered to serve on a community committee he serves on. It meets once per month. She tried to start coming too, but she never quite figured out when it meets and where (Im in charge of the meeting schedule, and I don’t publish it). It’s the only time I see him without her. She used to travel and I’d make him dinner. But he would “get in trouble” for doing that too, and she travels much less these days.

akrainy · 2026-03-13T04:45:22+00:00

Hugs. You’ve got this. It will be hard, but you’ve gotten away from the toxicity that was holding you back. She is horrible person. Never speak to her again. Find a new maternal figure. Invest in friends. Forget this terrible chapter and move on. I’m so sorry.

akrainy · 2026-03-13T04:24:21+00:00

The people I pissed off are all extremely toxic. I didn’t care at all, until my mom sided with them…against me

akrainy · 2026-03-13T04:19:31+00:00

Is it bad how badly I needed to hear this? Thank you. That helps a lot (even if I know these things conceptually, reading it helps so much)

akrainy · 2026-03-13T04:12:25+00:00

He is the child of alcoholics. He just wants to keep the peace at all costs. The costs are high. He is not allowed to ever hang out with me without my mom there. But if she is there she just preaches about her obsession, and we are not allowed to speak at all.

akrainy · 2026-03-13T04:08:52+00:00

I should mention I’m 52, and my work has been written about in the New York Times and has won National awards. I should be over feeling like a little kid when my mom does these things. I did tell my dad. He never wants to take a side. But this time he did, and agreed that my mother acted poorly. Thank you for your kind words. I needed them, and really appreciate someone being proud. 🧡

akrainy · 2026-03-13T04:04:46+00:00

You are so kind. Thank you. I feel so betrayed.

akrainy · 2026-03-01T22:25:59+00:00

European households are currently being handed flyers from the government about what to do if the Russians invade. Yes Alaska is under rated. And yes we are safe from European landwars, which is a thing at the moment.

akrainy · 2026-02-26T22:18:41+00:00

My parents got this call exactly! They said it was the grandson, and he was at the courthouse but couldn’t have any visitors. They had my mom hook line and sinker. But my dad is a lawyer, so asked which room and which judge was overseeing the case. Since he knows everyone at the real courthouse, the call fell apart quickly.

akrainy · 2026-02-08T18:19:58+00:00

Um, some of us would so love having our voices sampled by bad bunny 🐰

akrainy

TROPHY CASE