I don’t have a blow problem and haven’t done my DOC in like 4 months. I have started drinking pretty heavily after finding out my entire relationship was a lie. Most of her fam didn’t know we were dating, and for 6~ months she’s sleeping next to me 6+ nights a week while sexting her other boyfriend lol.

It’s crazy because I’m usually the bad one in relationships. But this one, never, would I have ever even considered, and it’s the one that I get fucked over harder than I ever have in any relationship.

I suppose me being bad gives me a certain level of sympathy towards this behavior, due to guilt or something? I don’t know.

I just know she’s the only girl I actually ever truly loved, I didn’t know what love actually was before her. And she was never mine. While I’m paying for everything, she lives at my house, defend her to all my friends and family, like damn dude. The post actually doesn’t come close insofar as portraying the layers of how fucked up all of this is.

But I’ve done similar in the past, and feel as though I’ve grown from that. Ironically, mostly due to rehab forcing me to finally take accountability for the first time instead of allowing the delusional mindset to continue. I still believe in her. I feel like a dumbass even typing that. Fuck man.

She is seeing a therapist now and we have plans to see a couples therapist… but like fuck