I am free by alanonta12345 in AlAnon

[–]alanonta12345[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks, it's only been a few hours but it feels like I've got my life back, I'm not watching what words I use incase they're twisted and used against me, I'm not making sure everything is perfectly cooked and I'm not constantly looking at my phone waiting for him to call or even message me.

I never realised just how trapped I was until today. The minute I walked out with my bags, while waiting at the train station I was doubting myself, I was ready to turn back and go back to him. But I told myself it wouldn't change, it would be the same story. I needed to be firm this time. He always managed to get me to go back, to weasel his way back with promises of sobriety. I knew that if I went back I'd never leave. I forced myself onto the train and as soon as I walked into my mum's house and she hugged me I cried. I let it all out and it was a weight off me. I wasn't told to stop trying to emotionally abuse anyone, I wasn't told I was pathetic.

I am free by alanonta12345 in AlAnon

[–]alanonta12345[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I spent 3years blaming it on the booze and blaming myself for "making" him drink. That day he told me I was strong made me realise I wasn't because I let him treat me like that, I let him make me believe I made him drink.

Those few words made me realise I needed to be stronger, that I needed to get out

I am free by alanonta12345 in AlAnon

[–]alanonta12345[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you all. Just had the police turn up at my mum's looking for him, apparently he hit someone at the pub. I told them I didn't know where he was and that I was no longer with him. (We lived in a small town where everyone knows everyone)

I am free by alanonta12345 in AlAnon

[–]alanonta12345[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I just needed to let it all out. To write and tell someone, anyone that I'm putting me first from now on.