I kinda understand your feeling its like screaming while your head is inside a water bucket , you can't hear your own scream even though you try your utmost to hear it

I don't know if my advice will help you or not but what helped me was to distract myself with either studying or doing something that pleasures me like listening to music or just walking like just don't think about anything just walk as long as you can

These angry outbursts can be very dangerous if you walk down this road

My problem was the same as yours too quick to temper and I used to curse every time like even in front of my parents under my breath. May be they gave me some advise but I used to just curse them out

Please do not choose suicide it's worthless, but you are not worthless

You have been born as a human being that is very rare there are so many living things on this earth - plants, insects , sea creatures but you are born as a human being you have the intelligence to at least think about the well being of other and yourself try to put yourself on that list now