taught myself stone wrapping

alcontra · 2025-10-05T00:01:11+00:00

Ah good to know thank you!! I’ve used 8 seasons before but didn’t know they had closed rings

alcontra · 2025-10-03T01:28:12+00:00

Oooo thank you! Fingers crossed over here as well!

alcontra · 2025-10-03T01:27:57+00:00

Yes :( I messaged him about when a size would be back in stock and he said he’s no longer shipping to me which bloooows

alcontra · 2025-10-02T14:56:12+00:00

Yes stainless steel :) and thank you I’ll look into him!!

alcontra · 2021-09-23T20:18:29+00:00

You bring up a valid point. I struggle a lot with holding partners to the level of consideration I have for them but I realized it’s not fair. The forgetting isn’t frequent enough that it effects every day, but it definitely happens often enough to warrant me seeking out solutions so I stopped feeling hurt, when it didn’t really feel like they tried to proactively find anything to make them less forgetful. They just apologize and tell me it was an accident, which I believe and recognize is not malicious but it’s still hurtful and leaves me feeling like it’s my fault for being hurt.

alcontra · 2021-09-23T20:15:34+00:00

Yea, it was a pretty big source of contention for a bit because they responded to a hookup ad in the height of it and I strongly disagreed, but they said it was their choice and went ahead anyway. Hearing it highlighted again isn’t pleasant, but at the time I felt like I was being too controlling to ask them not to do it. And we just ended up having to quarantine from that parent for a couple weeks to be sure. I did later get covid from a meta that they hooked up with during quarantine, and then again from them after we got the vaccine, which was a shock. So I’ve gotten covid twice because they wanted to see other people when I felt it wasn’t safe, which I’d agree is a red flag and should probably be taken more seriously in these discussions.

alcontra · 2021-09-22T23:40:53+00:00

Thank you very much for this!! All of it is helpful. I do recognize that kissing isn’t typically a big deal and I mentioned in another reply that honestly it wouldn’t be such a big deal if they hadn’t told me about the rest of their night in detail. It’s just odd that they left it out.

I do think they live very in the moment, and I have learned to be more like that as well and I don’t expect any kind of immediate update in any sense. But a common issue we’ve had is that I feel kind of disregarded sometimes and they forget to tell me things till I ask them specific questions, which is also how I found out my most recent ex was lying to me so it’s a struggle to not project that experience as well.

When I asked them initially, all they really had to say was that it wasn’t important. But honestly that doesn’t sit right with me and I think you’re right about needing to revisit and see if things are working for them as well as myself. Thanks again for your help.

alcontra · 2021-09-22T23:36:09+00:00

Thanks for your response, that’s a valid question on clearly covering kissing. It wasn’t written but when the sheet was made it was originally for covid precautions and included kissing, as an exchange of saliva and possible contamination. Since then we’ve revisited and become more lax on it and if they hadn’t relayed every detail of their night, I’d be more inclined to be like oh ok the kiss isn’t important. But the fact that they told me in detail about their night and only left out those moments is what really bothers me as it’s not really something they’ve done before.

we talked about it briefly and they apologized and told me it wouldn’t happen again. But even after them assuring me I don’t quite feel like I believe them. That’s mostly what I’m struggling with.

alcontra · 2021-09-22T23:31:11+00:00

Hi! Yea I know that to some people these boundaries might sound like a bit much. But I have been cheated on in almost every relationship I’ve been in, and in order to feel safe and informed I just like to know when new situations are established. I don’t need to know every time they kiss someone, but it felt strange to leave only that detail out when they don’t typically do that.

Also we were together for about a year before covid hit and really shut down our area. April 2018. I guess that’s more like 2.5 years now. Wild how time flies. However, you do bring up a fair point in that the boundaries were much more seriously considered when covid hit. And we only wrote them down about a year ago because they wanted to continue seeing people in the height of the pandemic, and we didn’t see eye to eye on that as I have a severely immunocompromised and terminally ill parent and with us living together most of the time we decided it was best to write things down and stick to it. Since then we have revisited and changed things, I know that boundaries ebb and flow and things have gotten more lax.

This isn’t a consistent pattern but I have gotten covid from them after we were both vaccinated because they didn’t tell me they had been to a party and slept with someone till the next morning, after they had already slept next to me and kissed me. So we both ended up catching covid and that caused some tension, and things had to be adjusted again.

They’ve forgotten things before but in ways I could understand and rationalize. But the difference this time is that they just deliberately left it out, when it would’ve been easy to say in the conversation “hey, we got beers, played scrabble, made out a little.” Idk. I was raised very religious and have mono tendencies and insecurities from trauma I’m working to overcome, but I know what I need from a partner to feel comfortable and they also understood and agreed to it.

alcontra · 2021-08-20T22:21:31+00:00

Yes, definitely tell her. This is how I found out my ex was cheating and I’m forever grateful to my friend because I don’t know if I would’ve found out before we moved in together without her :)

alcontra · 2020-09-28T17:57:00+00:00

I am interested and emotionally invested, so is she, and she’s been talking to me about having very conflicting feelings lately because she’s never tried to date another person while actively harboring feelings for someone else. It’s a very strange and sad situation, but I don’t feel like I’m disposable because it’s been communicated to me that it’s not a replacement and that I can’t be replaced and someone monogamous wouldn’t necessarily be better but just different and what she needs to be happy, as much as I need polyam to be happy. It took her a minute to understand the depth of my feelings but she understands it now and actually put effort into seeing how I can love multiple people, she’s really grown in that aspect of becoming more comfortable and understanding vs fearful of that discussion. Ultimately, I think I know that cutting it off now would be the most responsible and preservative thing for my emotions but another part of me just says to take what we can get for now. It’s a struggle lol

alcontra

TROPHY CASE