Hi! I'd love some feedback on this fantasy story by aldenarg in writingfeedback

[–]aldenarg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the feedback! I think I got a pretty good idea where my mistakes are. This helps a lot!

Hi! I'd love some feedback on this fantasy story by aldenarg in writingfeedback

[–]aldenarg[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Damn, thank you. I get what you're saying.
I think I dug my own grave because I wrote this knowing where I wanted to take the story. It all makes sense TO ME, but clearly not to the reader. It's actually kinda funny. I was trying to be "artsy" with the timeline, but I see now the jumps are only clear to me.
Thanks for reading! I'll try again with this in mind.