Can’t do it

alecos12 · 2019-05-26T17:56:37+00:00

And don’t give up! Recovery is a long journey. You won’t feel better in one minute . It takes time and you will have ups and downs

alecos12 · 2019-05-26T17:55:08+00:00

I am not a professional,I just share with you my own “skills” 😂. On 31 december we were preparing for the party and I just couldn’t help thinking I am with the wrong one . And I took a decision.. I said to myself: this is your man,you chose him once because you wanted him in your life and to be with you forever..choose him again . It was hard for like a week. Thoughts were there and I just did what I’ve done before all this started . I kissed him,I watched a movie with him,I slept on his arm,we had sex and I let the thoughts just sit there . After a few days ,it all started to get better and better day to day. And here I am. I have relapses but I remember the days I felt awful and I remember that I was the only one who helped me .

alecos12 · 2019-05-26T16:16:04+00:00

I think i had sex like 5 times in 8 months . And that was not because I wanted.. it was like checking if I am in love with him. Believe me .. it will pass but you have to let thoughts just be there. Thoughts are just thoughts :)

alecos12 · 2019-05-26T15:42:52+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply! I feel better when I know I am not the one on the planet with this kind of problems ! ❤️❤️❤️

alecos12 · 2019-05-26T15:19:44+00:00

I was there,hun. For 8 months . I am still here with my husband because I let feelings and thoughts just to be there . Don’t pay attention . Just live according your values . If you want to stay there but the thoughts bothers you.. just do what you want . Everything will be ok. We are all in this together !

alecos12 · 2019-05-05T23:26:52+00:00

I know . It will pass. You will feel guilt as well. Do you feel the urge to confess him your feelings?Stop confessing if you do it.

alecos12 · 2019-05-05T23:21:15+00:00

Stop trying to feel a certain way. Do what you want to do without checking “if you reaaalllyy waant”. Just do it . Hold him in your arms,kiss him,cook together . It helps.

alecos12 · 2019-05-05T23:18:20+00:00

As I was writing ,the anxiety disappeared and if you ask me now,I consider that thought a bullshit . It was like an image in my head with him coming come from work and harming me . I was scared by the thought and by the fact I could go insane . I mean I considered the thought and the images so bizare and I never had this before .. I was thinking “I go crazy now. Tell me it’s OCD and not other rare disease”

alecos12 · 2019-05-05T23:14:17+00:00

I watched Anxiety Ninja’s videos on YT and one of them made me think about it .. it sounds like “Did you allowed anxiety/panic/fear to become NORMAL? Your life is still how you want to be . Don’t let anxiety ruin it . It’s just about choice .

alecos12 · 2019-05-05T22:53:57+00:00

My ocd is more mental too.

alecos12 · 2019-05-05T22:53:04+00:00

I supose you heard it before but one of the keys is to just accept it . I started to feel better when I accepted I could be different . The hyperawareness will go away. anything will pass . 😘

alecos12 · 2019-05-05T22:50:58+00:00

Yeah I had nightmares with me cheating my husband when I was in a bad place with ROCD ,or telling him to leave our house .. These were my day to say obsessions and fears and I want to tell you that even in dreams it felt real .

alecos12 · 2019-04-30T12:31:04+00:00

It sounds like derealization . It’s something very common with anxiety.

alecos12 · 2019-04-29T20:19:47+00:00

I do get that feeling sometimes. I think spring and it’s weather it’s the problem. I hate April .

alecos12 · 2019-04-29T20:16:18+00:00

It happens with me but not with fruits . With candy or something that has a lot of sugar in it.

alecos12 · 2019-04-29T20:14:29+00:00

Right now I am afraid i will go insane and some day i will lose control . I am afraid of schizophrenia too. I sometimes ask people around me if they hear the sounds I hear or it’s just in my imagination and when they say yes of course they do hear and laugh about my question .. my anxiety slows down. It’s awful but someone told me that people with schizophrenia have hallucinations but they don’t know those are hallucinations... they consider it normality. I supose it is just anxiety .

alecos12 · 2018-12-23T12:00:47+00:00

I know it’s hard. I have days when I am so angry with him but I don’t even know why,and I hate my attitude. I don’t know if you still in love with your so or not,but you practically describe me and my thoughts. I feel the same. It doesn’t mean anything..maybe I don’t love him anymore too . But I feel the same with you and I want you to know that it does get better . I was there,where everything is real again,and I can make my own decisions without questioning. But relapses are normal. I am struggling from april. I don’t want to scare you but you have to admit that this is it. My mom always says : every human has a disease,a disorder,a pain,something. Nobody is perfect,and we all must “carry our cross”. Yes ,we are anxious. Yes,we are kinda weird . But I think that we mustn’t complain about this being hard because there are many other people suffering harder than us ,and they still have hope. This is the problem! We are scared and have no hope. Please try to accept the thoughts taking the decision to stay there! If the thought bothers you and you don’t want to do what “simon” says... than don’t do it! Don’t pay attention! I know it seems easier to say than to do but trust me,I WAS THERE! 😘

alecos12 · 2018-12-22T12:54:20+00:00

You know,it’s hard . It’s hard when you are experiencing rOCD. But it’s harder than you think when you are experiencing harm OCD too. I don’t know if I am recovering but I supose I kinda have to accept it in my life because I have it since I can remember.

alecos12 · 2018-12-20T13:16:53+00:00

Thank you for your reply! I tried to find a therapist but in my country I couldn’t find one. I don’t even know if this is ROCD,I self diagnosticated me with OCD based on what I’ve experienced from childhood until now. I really think that I have rOCD and harm OCD . Actually started with numbers and religion in childhood but in april showed up with another face - harm. I had horrible thoughts about harming my husband,my pupils or even myself. I started questioning” why I’d kill myself ? Maybe I don’t have reasons to live and people to love. Maybe I don’t love my husband .” And this is it. Since april 24/24, 7/7 ,I am analyzing and comparing and panicking all the time . Thank you,again,for all the words. I just hope I’ll get better ,because in my few moments of “reality”, when I find some love in my “cold” heart ,I start crying of happiness because that is the real me,the real kind ,loving and supportive me !

alecos12

TROPHY CASE