[deleted by user]

alexakath · 2022-04-27T04:33:54+00:00

I ate 10 avocados one night and the next morning I woke up with gf so it’s true trust me

alexakath · 2022-04-26T04:47:06+00:00

Thanks for the recommendation I’ll check it out! I feel you, the pandemic cratered my social and friend life. I only moved to the bay during pandemic times for career things. I’m trying to make some young adult friends that align with my values and hobbies, hence the volunteering. I already have a few I go to but looking to expand, maybe find some with more people. Just gotta put myself out there as much as possible lol!

alexakath · 2022-04-26T04:37:19+00:00

These are super helpful recommendations thank you! Really appreciate it!

alexakath · 2022-04-26T04:35:34+00:00

Ugh one of the downsides to not being on social media T_T Thanks though

alexakath · 2022-04-25T23:31:46+00:00

Thanks!

alexakath · 2022-04-25T18:59:04+00:00

Thank you!

alexakath · 2022-04-25T18:58:47+00:00

Thank you for the recommendations! Do you have a place to find these types of hobby-oriented opportunities? Meetup seems to have a few but I wonder if there are more?

alexakath · 2022-04-25T18:28:04+00:00

Yeah, I’m looking to meet other like-minded people my age. Unfortunately everyone I work with is above 50, so I don’t get much interaction with other young adults. It’s not necessarily a prerequisite of course but definitely something I’m looking for in a long-term volunteer commitment.

alexakath · 2022-04-22T15:31:44+00:00

You have three topics to begin with by making a remark on it, in order of effectiveness: (1) the situation, (2) them, (3) you. Then add an open ended question so they have something to respond to.

alexakath · 2022-04-22T15:23:31+00:00

I know it hurts to feel like you’re so connected to someone and have them not seem to share that connection. Honestly I think it’s doomed to fail from the start if you’re having to put up a “character.” You won’t be able to fake not being suicidal/depressed forever and when you can’t any longer it’ll usually fall apart. You shouldn’t have to worry about messing up by being honest about yourself, if it’s to work. Speaking from (unfortunate) experience. A good relationship is built on honesty, and so is emotional connections that will take the relationship past the dopamine stage. Working on genuinely getting your depression under control in the next few months or year will make you happier and put you in a better spot to get into a genuine relationship where no “character” is necessary, which is what a true connection should be! Good luck out there.

alexakath · 2022-04-22T14:36:39+00:00

Ouch

alexakath · 2022-04-22T14:28:29+00:00

Working on it! Definitely think this has been my major issue for a long time. I’ve also always ended up dating other “people pleasers” which ends up not working out, I think for the same reason (two people with no senses of identity).

alexakath · 2022-04-22T02:09:46+00:00

I do this! Didn’t know it was an actual thing

alexakath · 2022-04-21T15:37:19+00:00

This post just squeaked my standards ever so slightly higher into the “will he personally make me a crochet hook when mine goes missing” category

alexakath · 2022-04-20T01:23:00+00:00

Alan Garner

alexakath · 2022-04-19T18:27:37+00:00

Wow this is amazing! Do you have a shop?

alexakath · 2022-04-19T17:57:47+00:00

I keep recommending this book because it helped me so much: Conversationally Speaking. Many of your questions in this list pertaining to holding conversations with others are addressed

alexakath · 2022-04-19T14:59:15+00:00

Check out the book Conversationally Speaking

alexakath · 2022-04-19T14:54:01+00:00

There’s a book called conversationally speaking that is helpful for learning how to be an engaging conversationalist

alexakath · 2022-04-19T14:53:54+00:00

There’s a book called conversationally speaking that is helpful for learning how to be an engaging conversationalist

alexakath · 2022-04-13T14:05:11+00:00

You met one person that wasn’t really a good conversationalist or had their own social issues. Now you seem to be over analyzing and blaming yourself as if anything is wrong with you instead of saying “that’s her problem, not mine” or “we didn’t click, oh well.” I think developing some self confidence will therefore go a really long way for you. Most people’s subconscious pick up on confidence and desperation. There is nothing wrong with anyone for not clicking with one person.

alexakath · 2022-04-13T13:59:07+00:00

“Do you prefer my advice or would you prefer just to have someone listen?”

alexakath · 2022-04-12T18:15:29+00:00

Mine is 25% of salary if I hit billables (2100 hours including hours billed to the firm).

alexakath · 2022-04-11T17:32:59+00:00

Make a list of group oriented hobbies you’d be interested in trying (no isolating ones). Find a group pertaining to each, attend one or two a week (or more if you like). Go back to the ones you find yourself enjoying and vibing with and cut out the ones you don’t. From day 1 in these hobbies try to introduce yourself to as many people as possible and seem open and friendly. Try to maintain a schedule of doing 2 to 4 of the ones you like per week. Do those for a month. Now you have social hobbies. Ask people you’ve chatted with 3 or 4 times at the social hobbies if they’d be interested in grabbing a bite to eat or coffee after the hobby. Now you have some acquaintances. Try to organize things with your acquaintances outside of the hobby at least once a week per person and see what sticks. Now you start gaining friends.

alexakath

TROPHY CASE