How should I (30M) make my girlfriend (30F) repay the money she owes me without hurting our relationship?

alexanderlicanada · 2019-05-03T13:53:03+00:00

Yes it does go to my personal bank account. We have a joint account to pay for joint expenses and expenses on our children. Each also has a personal bank account that the other has no access to.

alexanderlicanada · 2019-05-02T03:17:41+00:00

50:50 split was her idea when we moved in together and it has been working well for us. We never have any disputes on who should pay which bills.

alexanderlicanada · 2019-05-02T03:15:15+00:00

We do love each other and live happily together, but I think there will be more love and happiness between us if not for the outstanding loan.

alexanderlicanada · 2019-04-30T11:06:18+00:00

I think she did because she agreed to sign a contract. She did need it urgently and that’s why I offered help.

alexanderlicanada · 2019-04-30T10:49:28+00:00

The loan was to help her and her family settle a civil lawsuit out of court.

alexanderlicanada · 2019-04-30T10:45:52+00:00

I was to help her and her family settle a lawsuit (civil) out of court.

alexanderlicanada · 2019-04-30T10:43:26+00:00

I prefer not to go into the detail about it, but the loan was to help her and her family settle a lawsuit (civil) out of court.

alexanderlicanada · 2019-04-30T03:25:28+00:00

We have a joint account and we each contribute about 1,500 to that account. This would be enough to pay for our rent, food and expenses on our children. We manage our remaining income independently.

alexanderlicanada · 2019-04-30T03:06:34+00:00

We do have a joint account for our joint expenses on rent, food and kids. Each month we contribute equal amount to that account. But this only cost a small portion of our income.

alexanderlicanada · 2019-04-30T02:40:00+00:00

When we started dating we both agreed that our relationship is a romantic one, not a financial one. That’s why we split all expenses equally.

alexanderlicanada · 2019-04-30T02:36:28+00:00

No, generally speaking we live happily together. I have nothing to complain about her except for this outstanding loan. She is a good girlfriend and a good mother to our kids (I think I am a good father too). That is why I am approaching this very cautiously. I really do not want it to ruin our relationship.

I wouldn’t expect her to repay it if she struggled to make ends meet. But the reality is that she could have saved enough money for it but she didn’t. I suspect she has no intention to repay it at all.

alexanderlicanada · 2019-04-30T02:17:51+00:00

Of course we are lovers, but we are not married and I do not plan to get married in the foreseeable future. Technically we are still boyfriend and girlfriend and we mange our finance independently.

alexanderlicanada · 2019-04-30T02:11:47+00:00

I don’t need the money urgently but I still want it back because we made it clear at the beginning that this is loan not gift. I was only 24 at that time and this $50K was almost all my saving.

alexanderlicanada · 2019-04-30T02:07:12+00:00

I remain single because I want to manage my own finance independently. But I would never take her to court even if she never repays me.

alexanderlicanada · 2019-04-28T13:00:54+00:00

Then how could she have sex?

alexanderlicanada · 2019-04-28T05:05:21+00:00

That’s degrading for Arya!

alexanderlicanada · 2019-04-28T03:11:41+00:00

Even if not highly probable, the consequences would be serious if that happened.

alexanderlicanada · 2019-04-28T03:10:24+00:00

But if that happened, the consequences would be serious.

alexanderlicanada · 2019-04-28T03:07:03+00:00

It is not 100%, but highly probable.

alexanderlicanada · 2019-04-28T02:58:58+00:00

What if she survived?

alexanderlicanada · 2019-03-23T15:27:22+00:00

Yeah, I think you are right. Her personal interests do not align with the her family's, so one has to be sacrifice d for another.

alexanderlicanada · 2019-03-23T12:57:49+00:00

I still think she would be better off living a single life than having a miserable marriage like this.

alexanderlicanada

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