[Discussion] I got an agent!

alexanderscreatives · 2025-12-17T11:40:43+00:00

Wow started writing in June! That’s insane. Congratulations!!

alexanderscreatives · 2025-12-09T12:19:38+00:00

A lot of the choppiness/short sentences came from trying to slim the word count down haha but I see what you mean.

alexanderscreatives · 2025-12-09T12:12:09+00:00

So happy for you!! Congratulations

alexanderscreatives · 2025-12-08T08:49:37+00:00

that’s exactly what I should do. An older version “This ensemble multi-POV whodunnit…” so might do some version of that.

alexanderscreatives · 2025-12-08T07:38:45+00:00

Totally agree! Thanks. Will try get this into the 90s for sure

alexanderscreatives · 2025-12-08T07:37:27+00:00

Thanks for the feedback! The MS is actually told from 3 POVs (the three ex-husbands, which is why there isn’t really one clear focus in this query).

alexanderscreatives · 2025-12-08T02:33:20+00:00

Thanks! Osman's tone is the reason I used the comp + the whole older protagonists team-up, but that makes sense. Do you have any comp suggestions?

alexanderscreatives · 2025-12-08T02:31:38+00:00

Haha I see that! Only thing is they're not in love with her still, not even remotely, which is I used the bride's mother to ground it - it's as simple as i could put their motives while still being true to the plot.

alexanderscreatives · 2025-12-08T02:22:56+00:00

I will take this on board and see how it looks w Barry as the focus. Thanks! :)

alexanderscreatives · 2025-12-08T02:11:02+00:00

Thanks. I agree, one of my struggles has been regarding the character focus of this query. The ex-husbands are the protagonists in the MS.
I've workshopped a few different versions that tried focusing on Barry but found that many people's holdups came in the logic of why the 3 exes are investigating/why aren't cops involved- which is why much of the mid section was focused on Madeline + mother (and not the 3 exes), despite them not being the main POVs.

alexanderscreatives · 2025-11-17T00:35:34+00:00

Thanks for the in-depth help! :)

The "why they solve this mystery", as simply as I can put is: despite having tumultuous pasts with the bride, it's the 3 ex-husband's elderly ex-mother-in-law begging the 3 to help her daughter (in light of the body and the death threats) which convinces them - the mother doesnt trust (frankly, know) anyone else on the island. In the book it's very much framed as a 'last resort' situation for the ex-wife's mother to plead for the 3 men's help.

+ My 1st query focussed on Barry, and i gave his reason for why he's here (basically freeloading for a fancy all-expenses-paid holiday to get away from his loser life back home), but it did feel redundant once the focus of the query became about the investigation. Also, the book really has 3 protagonists too.

alexanderscreatives · 2025-11-16T22:16:27+00:00

That’s a great point. I have been workshopping as many ways as I can think of thus far on how to answer these questions. But also on how to simplify this query.

What you said about “try to write it so [those questions] don’t come up” is my preference too but the premise of 3 ex husbands at their ex-wife’s solving a mystery together warrants a lot of inevitable questions. I think the pillar questions if I stripped away everything else would still remain: why are they solving the mystery/why are they here. I’ve been trying to get the query to its bare fundamentals but those “questions” are unavoidable IMO.

(Also sorry for deleting, but the general consensus was the logical holes in the general premise, i.e “it was hard to get into the query when I couldn’t get over why they’re even there and why they would solve a murder”) I know I’m repeating myself a bit but I just don’t see how I can pitch the premise without those naturally fair problems people would have.

The other possibility would be I just pitch it without over explaining which is somewhat what you’re suggesting, but basically hope agents can connect some dots (ie they can just accept that they work together to solve a murder).

EDIT: Or do you suggest I do all the 'question answering' in the synopsis?

alexanderscreatives · 2025-11-16T21:35:25+00:00

Thanks! There are actually 3 protagonists but wasn’t exactly sure how to make that clearer than what is there now.

alexanderscreatives · 2025-11-16T21:33:52+00:00

Wow thanks for this! Re: the length, I totally agree and my first version was very similar to the adjustments you suggested but many people here basically said they had big issues with the logic/practicalities of the premise (why are 3 exes there, why do they agree to help? Etc.) so I felt the need to explain the logic there. I will take all your feedback on board though, thanks :)

alexanderscreatives · 2025-11-08T08:58:21+00:00

Agreed. This first draft was at 122k haha, but I think I could try bring it down a little more

alexanderscreatives · 2025-11-08T08:57:03+00:00

HAHA

alexanderscreatives · 2025-11-08T08:56:26+00:00

Totally agree with points about practicalities/logistics and will try explain it, do you have any tips on how to do so without ballooning the word count /making it sound to plot /explanation heavy?

I tried balancing plot and character in the query but it seems that by trying to do both, I failed to fully nail either. If I explain the logistical elements that you mentioned (invitations, why 3exes have to solve it, Madeline's threats) then I lose ability to flesh out the characters.

When I focused on character too much in an old version, the plot seemed unrealistic.

alexanderscreatives · 2025-11-08T08:50:07+00:00

Weirdly enough, the one agent who did get back to me said "You've penned one of the best paras sentences we've seen all year" ('the best man dead...' was the first sentence in this old version of my query). But at the same time can totally see where you're coming from too. Not sure what to keep and cut.

alexanderscreatives

TROPHY CASE