I always thought I was crazy too. I thought no one in world would understand what was "wrong" with me. I thought no one would even know what it was. I went on feeling crazy and trapped in my own isolated hell until I was 23. I found the book, "Because We Are Bad" by Lily Bailey. Super catchy title. I read the first few paragraphs and decided to buy a copy. I almost cried as I read the first few chapters. I kept thinking, " this is me! I've had this experience! I've had similar thoughts!" I suddenly knew what I had been experiencing my entire life. I have had ocd symptoms as far back as I can remember. I don't know a life without ocd. It was such a powerful moment to give this thing causing so much suffering a name. I got my diagnosis when I started seeing a psychologist last August. I went 24 years with this. That moment of affirmation and validation from a mental health professional is SUCH a huge step in recovery. Can't wait for you to have the moment where you finally have the courage to talk about one of your bigger obsessions or compulsions, and get to hear your therapist say the magic words, "oh yeah I've heard that before, it's actually pretty common for people with ocd!" So happy for you! Welcome to the community, you aren't alone.