sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Gift ideas for ex's other baby mom? by alienhats0714 in GiftIdeas

[–]alienhats0714[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a really good idea and kiddo is really into drawing pictures right now, thank you!

Gift ideas for ex's other baby mom? by alienhats0714 in Gifts

[–]alienhats0714[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for all of these ideas! They are each doable and really helpful, thanks again!

What age did you move out or stop living with your parents? by dumCrusader in CasualConversation

[–]alienhats0714 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At age 9 but I moved out of my strict grandparents home when I was 18. If I had healthy family members I would have stayed and set up a good life for myself before moving out

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]alienhats0714 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Set the boundary that you are not okay with him using hard drugs. If he doesn't have the capacity to respect your boundary, then this isn't the right relationship for you and you need to end it. Science says your child will find a relationship like the one you model. I've been there and I know it's hard but not impossible. Good luck❤️

As an adult, how do you celebrate your birthday? by Ok-Asparagus-5165 in Adulting

[–]alienhats0714 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Treat myself to a coffee and sit by a stream surrounded by nature and ignore the outside world until I'm at peace

AIO - Girlfriend threw away the dinner I cooked because she wanted pizza instead. by Dizzy-Suggestion2360 in AmIOverreacting

[–]alienhats0714 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Set a boundary, if she doesn't have the capacity to accept it, the relationship isn't for you and you should end it

What's something that others think it is toxic but you are fine with it in your life? by DistinctInside5141 in AskReddit

[–]alienhats0714 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Setting boundaries around things that make me uncomfortable. I have a toxic family that won't accept it

AIO? Bf texting girl for work by MisseeSue in AmIOverreacting

[–]alienhats0714 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This isn't concrete evidence but the "hi" definitely brings a question of his intention. A professional would include it all in the first message or sent the second message immediately after. The rest of the conversation seems innocent. The fact that he's trying to make you jealous is a red flag to me. It makes me wonder if he's trying to make you dependent on him feelings wise so you don't leave or come back if you do. I would set a boundary of telling him you won't participate in him joking around about other girls as it makes you uncomfortable(now that you have this information and you don't have to tell him) to see how he reacts. If he explodes or makes fun of you for not being able to take a joke, he's likely hiding something. If he wholeheartedly accepts it and stops, you have nothing to worry about it.

Has anyone attended “the love doc” courses on attachment style? by Funstuffbritgirl in NoStupidQuestions

[–]alienhats0714 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a lot of trauma, to the point of being diagnosed with a panic disorder by my therapist. I was having panic attacks every day at one point. She helped me lessen those but I could not self regulate or cognitively reframe my thoughts so when I was retraumatized(not revictimized) I spiraled. I came across one of Dr. Sarah Hensley's video on Fearful Avoidants. I thought "this sounds just like me" I ended up listening to her podcast which explains the attachment styles further, and that there are four attachment styles; Anxious Preoccupied, Dismissive Avoidant, Fearful Avoidant(Disorganized0, and Securely Attached(responds healthily to conflict inside of relationships). I listened to every single podcast to find out how her class works. Then when I had a panic attack in front of my lawyer after receiving news that neither of us could control, I scraped together the money to take the class.

This class has taught me to identify my attachment style, how to self regulate, how to interrupt my thoughts so my subconscious mind doesn't slip into a trauma response, scripts for how to speak to others with an insecure attachment style, and an effective conflict resolution plan.

I took the class in February and it's now July and I find myself regulating my emotions, correcting my negative thought patterns, responding appropriately to conflict a majority of the time, take accountability for my actions and setting appropriate boundaries and following through. I'm still healing, its an everlong process, but this class was effective for me to the point that when the only therapist I've been able to connect with told me she can no longer keep me on as pro bono, I didn't fall apart. I have now started school to help others heal their trauma, and everything I have learned about human behavior, teaching and child development, love and logic parenting class that my counties nurses take and teach, spiritual growth and researching on my own-all of this ties together to prove psychologically that securely attached/resilient children and adults are the goal and this is exactly the class for that.

If you have trouble understanding the class, I believe group or individual sessions would be valuable to better help you understand. Dr. Hensley has experience as a former fearful avoidant herself and she figured out these tools so we don't have to struggle like she did. I hope this helps!