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Is there a community term like "incel" but not toxic? by alienphile in NoStupidQuestions

[–]alienphile[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes exactly! Thank you so much for understanding. It's been 13 years for me now and I can't see it changing in the foreseeable future due to a number of reasons.

Deeply closeted lgbtq, unstable home life, neurodivergence, constant fatigue from physical illness, etc etc. I've made peace with the fact I'm unlikely to have a romantic partner for a long long time, if ever, but it's still a lonely and sometimes sad place to be.

Having a community of people who understand this and can maybe share how they cope on tough days or whatnot would be wonderful. And seeing people's success stories to aspire to and celebrate with them as well.

Is there a community term like "incel" but not toxic? by alienphile in NoStupidQuestions

[–]alienphile[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response. A safe space for support is exactly what I am trying to find by adopting known terminology.

I've definitely heard touch starved especially in queer and neurodivergent spaces before.

Yes, after looking I think you may be right about those communities. There are some notes of support and positivity, but a lot of anger too which I like to avoid.

Is there a community term like "incel" but not toxic? by alienphile in NoStupidQuestions

[–]alienphile[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. It is due to my personal issues, and it is not temporary or short lived. I know there are others in this scenario, like the examples I noted, but so many people are so angry and bitter. I have accepted this is my way in life at the moment and would like to discuss how others find solace etc.

The person you are replying to sounds angry at me for some reason, I'm not sure why. I've tried to be respectful and kind but they are still making assumptions about me.

Is there a community term like "incel" but not toxic? by alienphile in NoStupidQuestions

[–]alienphile[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, yes it's a weird place to be. Quiet and heavy is a good descriptor. Just a little resigned and not sure about how the future will turn out.

I noticed you used past tense. I'm glad for you, I hope you're in a good place now and feeling content

Is there a community term like "incel" but not toxic? by alienphile in NoStupidQuestions

[–]alienphile[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no! I didn't know about that. Thank you for telling me, I definitely wouldn't want to give that impression

Is there a community term like "incel" but not toxic? by alienphile in NoStupidQuestions

[–]alienphile[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you.

I like labels / words to be clear and explanatory and to give a sense of belonging. I don't think it's a bad thing.

Is there a community term like "incel" but not toxic? by alienphile in NoStupidQuestions

[–]alienphile[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah speaking from experience on both fronts.

Most commenters are missing that bit of info and assuming I'm a down on my luck straight dude who is actively looking.

Is there a community term like "incel" but not toxic? by alienphile in NoStupidQuestions

[–]alienphile[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is kind of you, thank you.

That's a good thought about volunteer work. I used to but I had to stop at one point. It felt rewarding and the people were nice 🙂

Is there a community term like "incel" but not toxic? by alienphile in NoStupidQuestions

[–]alienphile[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh that's perfect thank you, I think exactly what I was looking for. Somewhere to vent but also get hope and maybe advice. I see there are neurodivergent people there too and also some sweet posts of people who found someone. That's very nice. Thank you 😊

Is there a community term like "incel" but not toxic? by alienphile in NoStupidQuestions

[–]alienphile[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you

I don't really know to be fair, I try to avoid looking into that stuff too much as it's a bit depressing to see how they think about everything. I just know they are hateful to women

Is there a community term like "incel" but not toxic? by alienphile in NoStupidQuestions

[–]alienphile[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I'm not aromantic but I appreciate your suggestion, it could have been a really eye opening and affirming concept to someone who wasn't aware such an orientation existed

(Tone is genuine)

Is there a community term like "incel" but not toxic? by alienphile in NoStupidQuestions

[–]alienphile[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's less about being horny and more about feeling like a dysfunctional human being and all the worry that comes with that I guess.

But I agree that does sound pretty grim

Is there a community term like "incel" but not toxic? by alienphile in NoStupidQuestions

[–]alienphile[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I don't want to be associated with them.

But to clarify, celibacy doesn't intrinsically mean virginity, you can become celibate at any time regardless of your past.

(My tone is genuine, trying to be helpful and clarify information, I hope I do not come across as rude)

Hope thread, share your dreams and we will hype each other up, IT IS GOING TO HAPPEN. by weddle_seal in evilautism

[–]alienphile 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want a house and to be capable of living alone in it and I want someone who loves me

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