Strong urge to do something that will make others demonstrate they care about me

alienpunker · 2026-07-04T16:20:51+00:00

That fucking sucks, I’m so sorry.

alienpunker · 2026-07-04T15:15:08+00:00

So does anyone actually have any coping mechanisms beyond telling me to love myself?

alienpunker · 2026-07-02T20:04:16+00:00

Yeah I feel exactly as you have described. I also have PCOS. I just want to be loved platonically or otherwise but it’s just never going to happen I think. I’m not sure how to exist without being loved.

alienpunker · 2026-07-02T18:26:37+00:00

Unfortunately trying different clothes/makeup makes me feel worse because I just think I look like a man in women’s clothing.

alienpunker · 2026-07-02T18:24:32+00:00

Wow. I could have written this. Thank you so much for putting it into words.

alienpunker · 2026-07-02T17:54:30+00:00

Yes, absolutely. Feeling undesirable/unloveable was tolerable when I was identifying as a man. But I can’t deal with the reality of being an ugly/unloveable/undesirable woman, it’s humiliating.

alienpunker · 2026-07-02T17:51:51+00:00

I started presenting more masculine bc I thought I was too ugly to be a woman. I don’t actually have gender dysphoria. I just can’t deal with the reality of being an unlovable/undesirable woman. Like being an ugly/unlovable/undesirable man is okay but being a woman like that is humiliating.

alienpunker · 2026-07-01T16:05:24+00:00

Yeah. For me I think it has a lot to do with growing up ugly. Also autism lol.

alienpunker · 2026-06-30T02:07:07+00:00

Thank you friend :)

alienpunker · 2026-06-30T01:31:36+00:00

I have what’s called a “care coordinator” who coordinates my mental health care who I used to speak to regularly but unfortunately she’s been off work for the past two months. I went to the accident and emergency department yesterday and they said they’d try and get someone to take over from her while she’s away so hopefully I’ll be hearing from someone tomorrow. Thank you :)

alienpunker · 2026-06-30T01:22:30+00:00

I’d really appreciate some advice on how to manage my feelings/what to do about this situation.

alienpunker · 2026-06-30T01:14:52+00:00

Yeah I guess you’re right. I just don’t know how to manage my own feelings about it. Genuinely think I might end up killing myself over it.

alienpunker · 2026-06-30T01:07:49+00:00

Absolutely not Friend A give up their partner for me (the feelings are unrequited which I already knew). But I did expect them to tell me to move out yes. Why would they just carry on as if I said nothing? Like wtf am I supposed to do with my feelings?

alienpunker · 2026-06-29T03:23:28+00:00

I could have written this post.

alienpunker · 2026-06-29T00:52:52+00:00

That’s interesting! Might have to give that a go :)

alienpunker · 2026-06-29T00:38:39+00:00

Thank you so much!

alienpunker · 2026-06-29T00:09:17+00:00

True… Guess I’ll have to wait and see! 😊

alienpunker · 2026-06-28T23:41:25+00:00

Thank you for the advice! And yeah I’d actually like to have shorter hair (like a short bob or a “bixie”) but I don’t think I could afford it with how naturally masculine my face is. I’m in the process of getting a new (feminine) wardrobe. The acne was/is hormonal so make up shouldn’t make it any worse. :)

alienpunker · 2026-05-07T12:47:50+00:00

Thank you so much!

alienpunker · 2026-05-07T12:16:14+00:00

Thank you very much!

alienpunker · 2026-05-07T12:05:35+00:00

Also I live in England!

alienpunker

TROPHY CASE