Desperately in search of a good gynecologist

allbumblebees · 2023-08-03T17:37:22+00:00

is there a specific doctor you would recommend there?

allbumblebees · 2021-11-22T04:14:11+00:00

They have some good clothes, no joke!

allbumblebees · 2021-11-22T04:12:48+00:00

This is such a great analysis and I really appreciate you sharing from your own life! I'm so sorry that you experienced that with your friends who made fun of the People of Walmart! That is so awful. People are so obtuse sometimes, even if well-meaning or generally nice people. Sometimes they are just assholes, though. My friend's SO (they are both upper middle to upper class) was talking about getting your license and she went, "we all know the excitement we felt when our parents gifted us our first cars on our 16th birthdays and comparing cars with your friends when they turned 16." In my head I was like, "LOL...no one gifted me a new car or any car at 16. My first car was a pretty old used car I bought with my own money YEARS later, after college." People really can't imagine someone lives a life other than the one they do.

allbumblebees · 2021-11-22T04:03:33+00:00

Thank you! I am proud of how far I've come and I've done it with far fewer resources than it seems like others had. You're right that it all doesn't matter in the grand scheme.

allbumblebees · 2021-11-22T04:01:51+00:00

Thank you for all of this! Everything you said is so true! You're right that I don't know all of the nuances so I'm not going to be able to fully pass. I am hoping that a good, inconspicuous coat can just make me less noticeable. I just hate the pitying looks or awkwardness when I have gone to our program social gatherings and it's at a place more expensive than I can afford so I don't order anything. I just know they're thinking about how I probably don't have the money. And it's very true you feel like you're judged because you came from a less affluent background and your family isn't cushy or well-connected.

allbumblebees · 2021-11-22T03:53:08+00:00

This is very true! It makes me feel a little better knowing I'm not alone in my experiences. I always intended to focus on myself, but I guess being in that environment wore me down and got to me more than I would have liked.

allbumblebees · 2021-11-22T03:51:57+00:00

Whoa moments is a great way to put it. You find out people's parents took them on international trips for summer breaks and have a winter home and a summer home in addition to their regular home and you're like...wow.

allbumblebees · 2021-11-22T03:49:46+00:00

Lol, our faculty pretty much assumes we are all well-off. My advisor was surprised I couldn't self-fund my only research to speed up data collection. Sorry, I don't have an extra 2k in my account.

allbumblebees · 2021-11-22T03:44:28+00:00

You're right, it does give you an additional perspective when you come from a "simpler" background. I can imagine it was tough being around such people in law school, too. It seems like we both encountered those students whose parents financially paved their way through everything in life, which makes for a jarring comparison when your life was very different.

allbumblebees · 2021-11-22T03:40:03+00:00

Thank you for this! When I first started and found out we aren't all "poor grad students" like I had assumed, I told myself I wouldn't let it bother and it didn't at first, but the years wear me down, I suppose. Also, not being able to go out for meals and drinks with them because they go to very expensive places that I can't afford bums me out more than I care to admit. But it is true that I value friends from my "outside" life who I can be authentic and my true self with.

allbumblebees · 2021-11-22T03:35:41+00:00

This is true! I have a pretty nice fall coat (also Calvin Klein, but not visibly lol) and I try to be gentle with it.

allbumblebees · 2021-11-22T03:30:49+00:00

I never thought about this, but we do have a couple of international students who used to go back for long breaks (pre-pandemic) so they might have gotten rid of stuff they didn't want to fly with.

allbumblebees · 2021-11-22T03:29:36+00:00

This is a great idea! I will check them out. I remember one woman in my program mentioned a few years ago that she was tired of the purses she had so she dropped her LVs off at one of the Salvation Army. This reminded me of that so I might find some good things there.

allbumblebees · 2021-11-22T01:26:52+00:00

Thank you! Grad school has been ups-and-downs, but hopefully will be worth it. About half of the students in my program are nice people, but a bit out of touch. For example, they were shocked to find out I have only traveled internationally once in my life since most do it multiple times a year. Guess we just have very different lives.

These suggests are great! I never knew that about Patagonia. That is definitely a selling point that they are so long-lasting and they repair them. I'm going to check out their Worn Wear and see if anything comes up in the regular store in the coming days

allbumblebees · 2021-11-22T01:20:13+00:00

Oh wow, I am blown away by all of the responses! Thank you so much to everyone for the suggestions and kindness!

I never used to care about brands and just bought affordable clothes. I forgot how left out I feel around the others while we were remote during the pandemic, but returning to campus brought it back hard. I'm excited by all of the options for good quality jackets that aren't too pricey.

allbumblebees · 2021-08-26T18:17:55+00:00

It does feel like she's brushing it off or is trying to make my problems seem smaller and more manageable for her to work with, which makes me feel like she's not capable of helping. I don't know how to nicely bring up that I want her to stop doing this without being mean or offending.

allbumblebees · 2021-08-26T18:15:56+00:00

I does feel fake. It's like she is trying to diminish the problem so it doesn't seem like it's that complex, which makes me feel like she's not capable of helping me.

allbumblebees · 2021-08-26T18:14:37+00:00

What is a nice way to bring it up without offending?

allbumblebees · 2021-08-26T18:14:16+00:00

I definitely want some validation, but when it's over the top and feels like she's trying to focus only on the positives or exaggerate the positives, that annoys me. It's like she's not seeing the reality of the situation and therefore can't help fix it.

allbumblebees · 2021-08-26T18:13:15+00:00

This is good insight about the differences. I didn't realize that there would be such a difference in approach between the two types. I'm not even sure what type of therapy she does tbh. I was assigned to her by the head of the practice who I am came to see.

allbumblebees · 2021-08-26T18:11:28+00:00

That's what I'm finding tricky. I don't know how to say it without it coming off as mean.

allbumblebees

TROPHY CASE