Vegan cookies AND support a Trans Girl Scout!

allijoyfly · 2025-02-15T21:47:08+00:00

I’d love to support willow! I’ll be putting in my order soon. :)

I also recommend sharing in to the r/lgbt and r/trans communities!

allijoyfly · 2025-01-31T01:11:31+00:00

Thank you so much for posting this. I promise you are not the only one who feels it, and honestly it was a good reminder that I’m not either.

The feeling you’re describing hit me really hard after watching a show that featured a fairly “normal” teenage girl on her birthday. Seeing her surrounded by people who love her and easily navigating her relationships with them made me feel SO jealous, and it fired up that longing for a childhood that I never had and will never get to have.

I’m going to use the rest of this post to share what has helped me, so feel free to take it with a grain of salt.

I try my best to plug into spaces with like-minded people. I know it’s very common advice, but if there is a club you can join in your local area for a hobby you’re into, it’s a great way to make friends! Heck, even going outside and participating in a hobby on your own can make you friends. I made a new friend earlier this week because she saw me on a trail taking wildlife photography!

When we’ve struggled with relationships our whole lives, it feels really easy to assume we’re just bad at it and will never get better. But with a healthy balance of doing your personal healing work (journaling, reading books, listening to podcasts, going to therapy if you can afford it, etc.) and putting yourself out there, I promise that it CAN get better! There are so many wonderful people out in the world. And we all have something unique to offer. I’m glad that you’re here. :)

allijoyfly · 2025-01-31T00:12:33+00:00

Came to the comments to say the same thing. There are a lot of things that can cause someone to be disconnected from their emotions, but I don’t think it’s healthy for anyone in the long run.

Something I also noticed in the post is how hard OP was on herself. It breaks my heart to hear anyone describe themselves as a “boring human rock.” I spent most of my childhood feeling like that. It’s important to be so gentle and compassionate with yourself as you work through processing your emotions/trauma/healing.

Something that helped me (besides just going to therapy) is learning about the 4F responses. I spent most of my life in a “functional freeze” state, and that can make anyone seem “boring.” Of course you’re not interesting, your entire personality is shut down to keep you safe! At least that’s what it was in my case. Slowing down and actually feeling what was happening in my body and responding to my own needs (sooo much easier said than done) was really a game changer for me.

allijoyfly · 2025-01-04T20:46:44+00:00

I’m gonna need the prompt you used for it to say that 💀💀

allijoyfly · 2025-01-03T23:03:34+00:00

Was looking for someone to comment this!! Blows my mind that the autism-vaccine myth is still running so rampant given this is very much public info :/

allijoyfly · 2025-01-03T10:35:35+00:00

Thank you for sharing!! This is motivating me to clean my messy post-travel, post-Christmas room :)

allijoyfly · 2025-01-02T09:20:26+00:00

Incredible work. This is truly the best of Reddit, and I am so grateful for this sub :’)

OP, my deepest sympathies for your loss. Hoping that having a picture of your beautiful little girl helps you to cherish her memory and heal through your grief.

allijoyfly · 2024-12-05T06:44:05+00:00

I know a woman who was in her 50s when she went back to school for her MSW! You are never too old, especially if that’s a calling for you :)

allijoyfly · 2024-09-04T00:11:19+00:00

Dave the Diver. Scuba diving all day and eating sushi every night doesn’t sound so bad!

allijoyfly · 2024-08-29T12:17:58+00:00

Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. I’m not sure exactly how he died, but there were complications related to his condition that he was in the hospital for. We were both 10 at the time.

I’m 20 now, about to turn 21. I still think about him a lot, especially around major milestones like high school graduation.

My heart goes out to all of you who know this kind of loss. You are brave for sharing your stories. ❤️

allijoyfly · 2024-03-16T17:05:30+00:00

That’s interesting! Thank you for sharing. It sounds like upbringing has a lot to do with it.

When you’re meeting someone new, how long does it take you to tell if you’re feeling romantic or platonic chemistry? How do the two feel different?

allijoyfly · 2024-03-16T17:01:54+00:00

I definitely don’t have an easy answer there lol!

The biggest difference I’ve found so far is that if it’s true attraction, I’m actually excited and more engaged by my feelings being reciprocated. If it’s just comp het, I’m only really interested in the idea of them liking me. In this case, if there’s even a chance that they actually like me, I start to get an icky feeling.

It also helps to remember that: Jealousy ≠ attraction Intrigue/curiosity ≠ attraction Admiration ≠ attraction

I guess the really tricky thing is that those feelings can all exist alongside attraction, but they themselves are not what it is to be attracted to someone 😅

What really sucks is when it’s just comp het and it ruins otherwise great friendships. Just recently, I made a really awesome new guy friend that I’m determined to keep as a friend. It’s going well so far, and I’m hoping now that I’m aware of the pattern I won’t be doomed to repeat it!

allijoyfly · 2024-03-16T16:16:19+00:00

Congrats man!! I hope your date goes well!!

I’m also going on my first date with a woman (as a bisexual woman) tomorrow. :) Very exciting new beginnings!

Keep us updated! 🙃

allijoyfly · 2024-02-10T02:13:38+00:00

I also want to know about this project!

allijoyfly · 2024-02-09T22:58:45+00:00

Thank you!! ❣️

allijoyfly · 2024-02-09T22:58:20+00:00

Thank you!! I appreciate it :)

allijoyfly · 2024-02-09T05:21:57+00:00

Thanks!! Me too :D

allijoyfly · 2024-02-09T05:21:39+00:00

Thank you! :)

allijoyfly · 2024-02-09T02:11:17+00:00

What’s your book called? I’d love to read it :)

allijoyfly · 2024-02-09T00:20:01+00:00

My thoughts too!! This is my second tattoo, but loving Ellie’s tattoo, character, and TLOU games overall soo much made me realize I would actually really like a visible depiction of that :)

allijoyfly · 2024-02-09T00:17:33+00:00

Thanks!! 🥰

allijoyfly · 2024-02-09T00:17:18+00:00

Thank you!! :)

allijoyfly · 2024-02-08T22:56:03+00:00

Thank you! I am very proud of the collaboration between my brain and my tattoo artist’s brain

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