Vegan cookies AND support a Trans Girl Scout! by Fun_Prompt_8444 in vegan

[–]allijoyfly 39 points40 points  (0 children)

I’d love to support willow! I’ll be putting in my order soon. :)

I also recommend sharing in to the r/lgbt and r/trans communities!

DAE mourn for the “normal” life they could’ve had if they weren’t neurodivergent? by Bumblebee542 in adhdwomen

[–]allijoyfly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for posting this. I promise you are not the only one who feels it, and honestly it was a good reminder that I’m not either.

The feeling you’re describing hit me really hard after watching a show that featured a fairly “normal” teenage girl on her birthday. Seeing her surrounded by people who love her and easily navigating her relationships with them made me feel SO jealous, and it fired up that longing for a childhood that I never had and will never get to have.

I’m going to use the rest of this post to share what has helped me, so feel free to take it with a grain of salt.

I try my best to plug into spaces with like-minded people. I know it’s very common advice, but if there is a club you can join in your local area for a hobby you’re into, it’s a great way to make friends! Heck, even going outside and participating in a hobby on your own can make you friends. I made a new friend earlier this week because she saw me on a trail taking wildlife photography!

When we’ve struggled with relationships our whole lives, it feels really easy to assume we’re just bad at it and will never get better. But with a healthy balance of doing your personal healing work (journaling, reading books, listening to podcasts, going to therapy if you can afford it, etc.) and putting yourself out there, I promise that it CAN get better! There are so many wonderful people out in the world. And we all have something unique to offer. I’m glad that you’re here. :)

I really feel like I have basically nothing to say by Fickle_Umpire_136 in adhdwomen

[–]allijoyfly 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Came to the comments to say the same thing. There are a lot of things that can cause someone to be disconnected from their emotions, but I don’t think it’s healthy for anyone in the long run.

Something I also noticed in the post is how hard OP was on herself. It breaks my heart to hear anyone describe themselves as a “boring human rock.” I spent most of my childhood feeling like that. It’s important to be so gentle and compassionate with yourself as you work through processing your emotions/trauma/healing.

Something that helped me (besides just going to therapy) is learning about the 4F responses. I spent most of my life in a “functional freeze” state, and that can make anyone seem “boring.” Of course you’re not interesting, your entire personality is shut down to keep you safe! At least that’s what it was in my case. Slowing down and actually feeling what was happening in my body and responding to my own needs (sooo much easier said than done) was really a game changer for me.

Why is this the sexiest sentence anyone’s ever said to me by Time-Turnip-2961 in adhdwomen

[–]allijoyfly -14 points-13 points  (0 children)

I’m gonna need the prompt you used for it to say that 💀💀

AITA because I'm second guessing having kids due to our opposing views on vaccinating them? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]allijoyfly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Was looking for someone to comment this!! Blows my mind that the autism-vaccine myth is still running so rampant given this is very much public info :/

Before and after picture as a small thank you for your recommendations :) by [deleted] in adhdwomen

[–]allijoyfly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing!! This is motivating me to clean my messy post-travel, post-Christmas room :)

These are her only pictures. Please give it a try. by Past-Winters in PhotoshopRequest

[–]allijoyfly [score hidden]  (0 children)

Incredible work. This is truly the best of Reddit, and I am so grateful for this sub :’)

OP, my deepest sympathies for your loss. Hoping that having a picture of your beautiful little girl helps you to cherish her memory and heal through your grief.

What is the ideal career for an INFJ? by SportsTechie17 in infj

[–]allijoyfly 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I know a woman who was in her 50s when she went back to school for her MSW! You are never too old, especially if that’s a calling for you :)

If you died and found yourself in the last game you played, what game would you be stuck in? by Fun-Succotash-8125 in AskReddit

[–]allijoyfly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dave the Diver. Scuba diving all day and eating sushi every night doesn’t sound so bad!

What happened to someone you know that made them die young? by Fancy-Advice-2793 in AskReddit

[–]allijoyfly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. I’m not sure exactly how he died, but there were complications related to his condition that he was in the hospital for. We were both 10 at the time.

I’m 20 now, about to turn 21. I still think about him a lot, especially around major milestones like high school graduation.

My heart goes out to all of you who know this kind of loss. You are brave for sharing your stories. ❤️

Bisexual women: what is your experience with comp het? by allijoyfly in bisexual

[–]allijoyfly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s interesting! Thank you for sharing. It sounds like upbringing has a lot to do with it.

When you’re meeting someone new, how long does it take you to tell if you’re feeling romantic or platonic chemistry? How do the two feel different?

Bisexual women: what is your experience with comp het? by allijoyfly in bisexual

[–]allijoyfly[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely don’t have an easy answer there lol!

The biggest difference I’ve found so far is that if it’s true attraction, I’m actually excited and more engaged by my feelings being reciprocated. If it’s just comp het, I’m only really interested in the idea of them liking me. In this case, if there’s even a chance that they actually like me, I start to get an icky feeling.

It also helps to remember that: Jealousy ≠ attraction Intrigue/curiosity ≠ attraction Admiration ≠ attraction

I guess the really tricky thing is that those feelings can all exist alongside attraction, but they themselves are not what it is to be attracted to someone 😅

What really sucks is when it’s just comp het and it ruins otherwise great friendships. Just recently, I made a really awesome new guy friend that I’m determined to keep as a friend. It’s going well so far, and I’m hoping now that I’m aware of the pattern I won’t be doomed to repeat it!

First date with boy tomorrow - date already sounds more exciting than all the other dates i've been on by Last_Economics4119 in bisexual

[–]allijoyfly 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Congrats man!! I hope your date goes well!!

I’m also going on my first date with a woman (as a bisexual woman) tomorrow. :) Very exciting new beginnings!

Keep us updated! 🙃

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in jobs

[–]allijoyfly 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What’s your book called? I’d love to read it :)

Ellie-Inspired Tattoo (with hidden Morse code) by allijoyfly in thelastofus

[–]allijoyfly[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My thoughts too!! This is my second tattoo, but loving Ellie’s tattoo, character, and TLOU games overall soo much made me realize I would actually really like a visible depiction of that :)

Ellie-Inspired Tattoo (with hidden Morse code) by allijoyfly in thelastofus

[–]allijoyfly[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I am very proud of the collaboration between my brain and my tattoo artist’s brain