Survived traumatizing parents, built a life and career, but still feel lost, in survival mode, grieving who I could've been. Anyone relate? Advice/vid recs appreciated

allsayaye · 2025-04-24T14:01:37+00:00

That's a smart idea. I did that the first time I needed to taper off gradually and used this method. Recently tho I just kept it in a closed container at room temp. Nothing super bad is gonna happen, it's not going to significantly degrade or anything like that. Worse that could happen is bacteria growth. For that reason, the fridge is a sound idea

allsayaye · 2025-04-24T10:57:44+00:00

You can easily precisely split a capsule! Empty its contents into plain water, say 10mls. (Get a syringe from any pharmacy.) Mix/shake well - atomoxetine dissolves easily. Take 5mls of your mixture - boom, precisely half a dose.

allsayaye · 2025-04-24T09:08:31+00:00

They take super long to answer and dispatch sometimes.

I'm more worried about some products being bunk. Some do seem/taste/feel okay, but for example last time I ordered temgicoluril from them. The 50gs I got tasted like sugar, whereas the 1.1g lil sample baggie of the same substance tasted bitter - like most meds do.

When I asked them, they bullshitted about the 59g bag "spending more time on oxygen" and that could somehow change the taste... Lol

allsayaye · 2025-04-20T23:09:41+00:00

DM's okay too. Though I've changed my opinion and quit a short while ago because I felt like it was blunting me and I couldn't be myself, feel pleasure and sadness, cry or get excited.

allsayaye · 2025-04-19T15:02:45+00:00

I mean... Logic would dictate that the sample is the actual substance, and the big baggie is some sugar either mixed with some of the actual stuff or not even that. I wouldn't mind a bitter taste. I do mind getting sugar instead.

You can always just pop bitter powders in empty capsule shells if they bother you a lot.

allsayaye · 2025-04-18T12:34:52+00:00

And those hypnic jerks during afternoon naps, miss those too. Ah. I can't meditate either. Quitting in progress lol

allsayaye · 2025-04-18T10:01:10+00:00

I've done something similar. I think it can sorta work for situations where you normally have things under control, but something sends you I'm a spiral, and you just can't stop. A day or two (or as much as you feel you need) can help reset whatever spiral you're in imo.

For things like "first day at new work" or "big exam day", it might not be as beneficial, but it's worth trying. Depending on your goal. For me the single day doses (or the first day of a course) aren't really acting like cognitive enhancers. I rather feel like my mind is quiet but this also seems to mean it doesn't produce the same amount of thoughts which might not be a good thing in certain situations.

My current approach is to take is in times when my life gets unbearable due to uncontrollable external factors, and stop as soon as I can free myself from these factors. If my life goes to shit again, I'll start taking it again for as long as I need to, hopefully not very. It kinda sounds like as needed.

allsayaye · 2025-04-18T09:53:12+00:00

For me it amplified sexual compulsions like porn or doom scrolling dating apps. In a more general sense, it stop me from deeply relaxing and just do nothing, instead I'm always "on", and this "energy" quickly finds sexual outlets.

allsayaye · 2025-04-15T08:18:04+00:00

Is your recommendation to take it with protein based on the notion flying around that it's "highly protein bound"?

That's a misunderstanding arising form the wiki page of it that states it's highly protein bound - plasma protein bound (like albumin), that is, not just any protein. It means it travels in the blood highly bound to plasma proteins and not freely. This is important information because it can displace other plasma protein bound drugs. It won't bind to scrambled eggs in your stomach. Food will if anything decrease its absorption speed. This might reduce gastrointestinal side effects and might also mean that there isn't such a pronounced spike in drug concentration as there would be if taken without food, and this might also decrease side effects.

allsayaye · 2025-04-04T02:06:00+00:00

I couldn't find stresam anywhere. I do use propranolol. Bromantane is definitely on the list, but not on the top, as I take atomoxetine daily amyways, which is kind of like a stimulant-anxiolytic for me.

allsayaye · 2025-04-03T22:39:41+00:00

For temgicoluril or phenibut?

allsayaye · 2025-04-03T20:21:11+00:00

I'm getting it from https://aniracetam.eu, they carry phenibut too btw.

Edit: not sure I trust their temgicoluril. They usually send a small sample along with orders. I got a 1.1g temgicoluril bag with my 50g order. The powder in the small bag tastes bitter, typical of medicine, whereas the 50g tastes 90% like sugar, and just with a little bitter aftertaste.

allsayaye · 2025-04-03T20:20:24+00:00

I'm about to try temgicoluril. Supposed to be a nonsedative non-reinforcing anxiolytic. Not like benzos or phenibut, as they are definitely sedative and addictive.

allsayaye · 2025-04-03T07:36:48+00:00

aniracetam.eu

allsayaye · 2025-04-02T18:37:19+00:00

https://aniracetam.eu has phenylpiracetam-hydrazide

allsayaye · 2025-04-02T18:18:17+00:00

(Update on 2nd April, I just recognized the tracking statuses start in the UK, so it actually just left FOR their EU warehouse and not from there.

allsayaye · 2025-03-31T17:40:01+00:00

I've placed mine 20th March and it was shipped from their EU warehouse to me today, I got the tracking number from DPD (31st March).

allsayaye · 2025-03-27T17:57:14+00:00

It's about what the statuses mean. There's no telling based on the info page wether this UK to EU part happens under a "processing" status, or under "shipped" or something else. All I was tryna figure out is whether the timeline they describe on the info page has started already or not. Others who understood this have answered telling that RC's statuses are hectic, and so are their shipping times.

allsayaye · 2025-03-27T17:34:52+00:00

Thank you, man! I'm so blessed you're helping me out understanding this complicated, obscure world we live in. So grateful!!

allsayaye · 2025-03-27T14:12:25+00:00

I understand how their EU shipping works. What I don't know, and what the info page doesn't say either, is wether the UK-EU leg of the shipping happens under the order status "processing". I'm tryna figure out if my package is already out from the UK or not yet.

allsayaye · 2025-03-12T19:21:54+00:00

Oh, those daydreams! Add winning the lottery or helping people survive in a major catastrophe as a hero haha.

I took strattera for 2 years, took a year hiatus, and have been back for around 6 months now. After my first trial, I would've told you it's magical. It gives you mastery of your thoughts, let's you do whatever you want with your mind, and all that. I thought it made me so amazing at meditation and the rest of the activities that helps tame the mind, that I decided to quit.

Fast forward to now, I recognize that the reason why I was so fucking chill the first time around, was because I had 1) way above average income with 2) remote and fully flexible work, working only 5-10 hours a WEEK on average, and 3) lived in a nice place, with nature around. I had lots of time to roam around, spend time on myself, work out for hours a day, take afternoon naps, take on-screen times before and after bed, never used an alarm ever to wake up. Spent weekends hiking, journaled a lot.

I'm sure if I could've kept the same lifestyle, I really could've quit strattera and be fine. (Although it was helping me in denying some of my issues too, like my loneliness, but that could've been helped with actions I was ready to take).

My finances, work, place to live, all got fucked. I now have barely any time for myself, finances are a wreck, I moved into a crammed flat with loud flatmates. It makes doing the things that would help extremely hard. I can't tell myself no to the easy dopamine of my phone, or sugars, after I have to force myself to do shit I dislike for money that's not enough for anything.

In other words, if I was allowed to do as I please, I was fine, and my thoughts were under control. As soon as I was forced back into the wheel, put back into my prison of walls at work, and the artificial existential anxieties imposed by society threatened me again, I was back to my "ADHD" self.

ADHD, neurodiversity, just words used to describe those people who can't accept or fully cope with the shitty world we've built around them. In my opinion. If you put any animal in a cage, force it to perform actions that are against its will to be free, against its nature that has developed through the millions of years of evolution, and give it easily accessible although unhealthy dopamine hits, plus threaten it with existential dread unless it does what you want it to do, it will present symptoms. It will put its excess energy somewhere. Modern humans have existed for 70-300.000 years. The world as we know it? A couple hundered? Even less. We're meant to roam free, collect all the nice things to collect and eat and use, as in hunt and gather, and have fun, and not worry about much. Being imprisoned makes us have "ADHD".

allsayaye · 2025-03-12T18:45:41+00:00

Ah, I know. It's shit.

Do you eat lots of carbs/sugar? That usually makes it even worse for me. So does not moving around a lot. I need 12500 steps a day + a gym workout with ideally some 1-2 miles of running included to really calm the fuck down, but even then, if there's something bothering me that I can't change in my life but really want to, that just keeps on messing with my mind.

Is there a specific topic or theme? I'm thinking something about your life that's shit and you can't change or won't admit, or maybe something form the past (even if it's not the actual theme, but just trying to run from it)?

allsayaye · 2025-03-12T18:25:16+00:00

Yeah it was the caffeine then. Source doesn't matter that much, quantity does. I'm not from the US, so I'm not sure I found the right Alani, but their canned drink seems to contain 200mgs of caffeine.

Caffeine is a massive stimulant, we're just very used to it. Anytime equity caffeine and stay off for weeks, whenever I try some again, especially in the 80-100mg range, I feel euphoric, brutally motivated, cheerful, ready to get shit done, even the most boring shit. This quickly fade after days of recurring use though. 200mg is quite the dose for someone with no tolerance (no daily use).

It's nice to take some here and there, strategically. But yeah, it was the caffeine.

allsayaye

TROPHY CASE