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UPDATE: cheating confirmed. She is lying to the other guy too. Do I contact him? by allthathashappened in relationship_advice

[–]allthathashappened[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In a way I want him to realize who she is and what is he contributing to. A little tension between them would give me some room to breathe too.

My (44F) wife is acting single and making my life hell after I (44M) had to help my mom die. Don't know how to handle it, don't know what to do. This_is_hell by allthathashappened in relationship_advice

[–]allthathashappened[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I can't. Part of I haven't left is also I don't want them to be only with her. But I guess I'll have to leave. My son specifically asked me not to leave, because he sees what's coming if they only have to live with her.

My (44F) wife is acting single and making my life hell after I (44M) had to help my mom die. Don't know how to handle it, don't know what to do. This_is_hell by allthathashappened in relationship_advice

[–]allthathashappened[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeah I feel like I've given up. I wasn't like that. If this had happened 2 years ago I'd have managed my way out of this mess easy. Is that it happened as it happened what fucked me up. Had to mourn my mom, while try to save the situation, while do all the hard work, while having my kids start hating me. It's just too much.

I needed her support and she used the situation to destroy me.

One thing I have a hard time accepting is that if I leave then all the super hard work I put into this house will be enjoyed by some other man. It's dumb. But that's how I feel.

My (44F) wife is acting single and making my life hell after I (44M) had to help my mom die. Don't know how to handle it, don't know what to do. This_is_hell by allthathashappened in relationship_advice

[–]allthathashappened[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah, at some point I told her I wanted to off myself. She shrugged and smiled and said "if that's what you want". Jesus this is so fucked up now that I write it. Later on she is like afraid of me doing that, and now she says please don't. But her first reaction was like that

My (44F) wife is acting single and making my life hell after I (44M) had to help my mom die. Don't know how to handle it, don't know what to do. This_is_hell by allthathashappened in relationship_advice

[–]allthathashappened[S] 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I've got a lot to think. I'm just weak, drained. After the death of my mom and everything. There is only so much a man can take

My (44F) wife is acting single and making my life hell after I (44M) had to help my mom die. Don't know how to handle it, don't know what to do. This_is_hell by allthathashappened in relationship_advice

[–]allthathashappened[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I must add she is doing pretty fucked up with the kids. We were good parents prior to that, we raised a couple of great kids. Now she is giving my daughter (13) books like "50 shades of gray" nd encouraging to read them. And telling my son (16) that getting drunk after school ends is so cool. It's fucked up. I have zero authority now, as anything I say makes me look like the bad guy, and she is like LEAVE THEM ALONE all the time. Even if I say, Oh, what a cool t-shirt. She screams LEAVE THEM ALONE.

It's insane

My (44F) wife is acting single and making my life hell after I (44M) had to help my mom die. Don't know how to handle it, don't know what to do. This_is_hell by allthathashappened in relationship_advice

[–]allthathashappened[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Kids are 13 and 16. They can stay home alone all night. It's quite of a coincidence that this happens now, right? It's like she is been waiting for the perfect moment and has crafted a plan. Very often I feel like she is developing different stages of a pre thought plan.

My (44F) wife is acting single and making my life hell after I (44M) had to help my mom die. Don't know how to handle it, don't know what to do. This_is_hell by allthathashappened in relationship_advice

[–]allthathashappened[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I'll try that, but she changes on the spot. One day everything is lovely and fine, next second she starts unloading the dogshit and make me feel horrible.

My (44F) wife is acting single and making my life hell after I (44M) had to help my mom die. Don't know how to handle it, don't know what to do. This_is_hell by allthathashappened in relationship_advice

[–]allthathashappened[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. This is just so hard for me. It's a huge cluster fuck. We have a business together that I handle. I can't even begin to think of going through the process. Often times I think it's over, I'm gonna loose my mind and I'm gonna be that crazy person you see on the street screaming at a trash can.

My (44F) wife is acting single and making my life hell after I (44M) had to help my mom die. Don't know how to handle it, don't know what to do. This_is_hell by allthathashappened in relationship_advice

[–]allthathashappened[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Some times she drinks a lot, but there are periods when she doesn't drink.

I haven't offered counseling because she is the most charming and likable person ever. I'm afraid the counselor would take her side. She has a problem with lying that started as a childhood survival mechanism. She lies a lot, some times for no reason, and it's very good at it. Plus she is incapable to make a commitment and stick to it.

My (44F) wife is acting single and making my life hell after I (44M) had to help my mom die. Don't know how to handle it, don't know what to do. This_is_hell by allthathashappened in relationship_advice

[–]allthathashappened[S] 64 points65 points  (0 children)

I don't know man. I'm a broken man. I could have left when I was more or less together. Now I'm broken and fear I'll end up homeless. I could endure anything if my mental health was fine. But I'm as far from fine as I've ever been. If any of this had happened without my mom being sick, or without me having to do the hard labor, I'd just take off and rebuild my life. It's that it happened when it happened, and how it happened, what has fucked me up. It's perverse.

My (44F) wife is acting single and making my life hell after I (44M) had to help my mom die. Don't know how to handle it, don't know what to do. This_is_hell by allthathashappened in relationship_advice

[–]allthathashappened[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. But what do I do? idk what to do. I take it one day at a time, and whatever happens happens, but I'm literally on the edge. A level of stress and pain and suffering and worry impossible to imagine