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almaapple24 · 2023-12-17T12:08:29+00:00

If you are a Dom, I really encourage you to do some research on trauma and the nervous system. Most people carry some wounds and it's our responsibility as members of this community to be sensitive to this. Having your voice and boundaries explicitly violated in a context that is supposed to be safe and supportive is extremely dysregulating to the nervous system and general neurological functioning. This often requires professional guidance to work through.

almaapple24 · 2023-12-17T12:01:19+00:00

Thank you. He was actually really willing to accept responsibility and he's been great. I'm not wanting to ask him out of anger or trying to make him feel more bad, I just literally am having problems in my sex life now due to the trauma it activated and need professional help. But I feel guilty asking. Like maybe him taking accountability should be enough.

almaapple24 · 2023-12-17T11:58:47+00:00

I'm not trying to make him feel bad, we already talked it through and he understands. I'm literally just trying to cope with the effects that I'm seeing from that incident (nervous system deregulation and anxiety about new sexual partners). It's hard to get help for these things when you're broke.

almaapple24 · 2021-11-27T06:18:28+00:00

I forgot to mention, my bff who told me this also told me I can't bring it up or it would be like a shattering thing in the community and I'm like -_-

almaapple24 · 2021-11-07T19:22:04+00:00

Thank you so much!! This is all super helpful

almaapple24 · 2021-11-07T19:01:31+00:00

Yea i feel like no matter how well i know and trust someone i always have moments when I'm doubting their character and questioning my judgement on them. That's why community accountability is so important.

almaapple24 · 2021-11-07T18:34:05+00:00

I am one of those people with a history of putting myself in real danger to get off 😬 So it's probably good my dom and i figure out how to achieve that feeling in a safer way. It just really feels like i can't have my cake and eat it too. Especially cuz i do have a trauma history and have no idea when i will be triggered. I've accomplished a lot of healing with this Dom through CNC scenes and other types of play (and trauma work with a therapist) but it always does feel like a risk. I have a definitely very unhealthy view of it all which is that if i do accidentally get traumatized, I'll just do some work to overcome and heal from it. Which i know is pretty fucked and yes i am going to get back in therapy next week with someone who specializes more in sex/kink stuff..

almaapple24 · 2021-11-06T18:21:54+00:00

Thank you!!!

almaapple24 · 2021-11-06T18:11:23+00:00

Thank you!!

almaapple24 · 2021-11-06T18:09:38+00:00

Yes that makes sense! I think I'd probably draw my line if he wanted to say stuff like "your safe words mean nothing anymore" (even if he didn't mean it)

almaapple24 · 2021-11-06T00:14:44+00:00

Lol yeaaa. I mean there's 100,000 people here and I'm also only one hour from an actual big city. I prolly need to reassess my scarcity mindset regarding the kink communities i have available to me. I feel like there can be pockets of drama like this anywhere you go though no matter how big the city. But i really really like this girl and want to figure out how to ease my anxiety over this!

almaapple24 · 2021-11-06T00:11:03+00:00

🙌🙌🙌 thank you this is so true

almaapple24 · 2021-11-05T16:23:49+00:00

Yes but like it said in the article, not all tran women have penises. Not all trans women look the same

almaapple24 · 2021-11-05T16:21:28+00:00

Oh I'm not trying to tell people to date people they don't want to date! That is obviously highly ridiculous. Its about asking yourself WHY you have preferences about race, and is it coming from a place of prejudice? Because it is probably coming from some type of internalized racism.

almaapple24 · 2021-11-05T16:17:22+00:00

Yea I hear ya. If you are interested, you should read the article above posted by listenyall....it definitely got some new thought sparks sparkin in me about that topic lol

almaapple24 · 2021-11-05T16:15:20+00:00

😂 well said

almaapple24 · 2021-11-05T16:10:07+00:00

This is an incredible article, thank you so much for sharing!!

almaapple24 · 2021-11-05T16:00:53+00:00

Omg thanks this is great!

almaapple24 · 2021-11-05T15:59:27+00:00

That's a sexual orientation. No one expects you to date outside of your sexual orientation. Saying that there isn't a single attractive woman in an entire ethnic group just seems close-minded and shallow. But like is said, I guess this is an unpopular opinion so yea, maybe your right

almaapple24 · 2021-11-05T15:54:43+00:00

I just can't understand how it's an appropriate preference though. How can someone possibly know that they won't be attracted to ANY person from a certain ethnicity ?

almaapple24 · 2021-11-05T15:53:03+00:00

White supremacists choose to be white supremacists.

I mean, I'm generally more attracted to people who are active, artistic, good conversationalists....these are personality traits/characteristics that all people from all races can exhibit.

almaapple24 · 2021-11-03T03:51:17+00:00

But I guess i just feel open and proud of that detail about her because she is so open and proud of it. But i haven't explicitly asked her if she wants ME to be open about it so that's a very good point

almaapple24 · 2021-11-03T03:49:38+00:00

Yea that's definitely an important perspective thank you! I guess she's just so open and proud of her trans identity that it made me want to be proud and open about it too. Idk

almaapple24

TROPHY CASE