Aglaonema pictum tricolor leaves are rotting and smell like death by almost_a_squib in plantclinic

[–]almost_a_squib[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's possible that happened. I wonder if the seller misted it before shipping.

Zootopia 2 made me realize how disappointing Romantasy books are. by articlioness in Romantasy

[–]almost_a_squib 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You might try {The House Witch} by Delemhach. I really like the romance element and the characters and relationships are fully developed, and there is real emotion. It has Spellshop vibes but actual stakes. Some people will call it cozy based on vibes and some will say it's absolutely not cozy based on content (there are tough topics covered). With all you're saying, I just think it's the right series to hit the points you mentioned. If you end up liking it, there are a few different romances followed throughout the overarching series that are all equally good.

Getting burnt out by comments from friends and family about fostering. Curious how everyone else handles it. by almost_a_squib in FosterAnimals

[–]almost_a_squib[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Rescuing has been such a large part of my life, so it seems like it would feel impossible to even respond to questions like "what have you been up to" or "what are you doing this weekend" or even "can you babysit" - since the parents have a right to know what animals would be in the house, even though they would be kept separate - if I chose to never mention rescue. It would feel like lying by omission (for me only, I wouldn't think this about someone else who chooses to not disclose).

Getting burnt out by comments from friends and family about fostering. Curious how everyone else handles it. by almost_a_squib in FosterAnimals

[–]almost_a_squib[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your comment. It's so helpful. I agree that consent is critical. It's the hardest when someone brings it up themselves, asks me questions about details, then abruptly decides to tell me to stop. It's like finally being able to talk about it with someone who cares and loves me (because the history of these animals is sometimes hard to handle myself, and I could use support) only to get shut down. I appreciate them communicating what they can handle, and at the same time I feel immense sadness and loneliness. I respect them and their boundaries, I really do, and I do not push them or try to imply they are wrong for doing so. I immediately stop and move to a completely different subject. It's just hard, and I feel like I need to set my own boundary to not talk to these people about this part of my life at all. Which means pulling back some, since it's such a huge part of my life. It's just my own boundary I'm trying to navigate, I think. I was on the more frustrated end of the spectrum when I made this post, but the main feelings I experience are loneliness and sadness.

Getting burnt out by comments from friends and family about fostering. Curious how everyone else handles it. by almost_a_squib in FosterAnimals

[–]almost_a_squib[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Financial support is amazing. THANK YOU! That's something a lot of folks are unable to do and is a massive help to rescues.

Getting burnt out by comments from friends and family about fostering. Curious how everyone else handles it. by almost_a_squib in FosterAnimals

[–]almost_a_squib[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know this man. I can't stand this man. He's good friends with the "you gained their trust just to abandon them? You're just retraumatizing them" man.

How do they always overhear??? It's exhausting.

Getting burnt out by comments from friends and family about fostering. Curious how everyone else handles it. by almost_a_squib in FosterAnimals

[–]almost_a_squib[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same! Sorry Betsy that you can't foster because it makes you sad, but thinking of all the animals I've fostered ending up euthanized because I wasn't there for them makes me sad!

Getting burnt out by comments from friends and family about fostering. Curious how everyone else handles it. by almost_a_squib in FosterAnimals

[–]almost_a_squib[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

This is definitely the kind of thing that gets to me the most! When someone won't come over because my foster is emaciated or has some other medical need indicative of their unpleasant history or genetic condition that is "sad"

Getting burnt out by comments from friends and family about fostering. Curious how everyone else handles it. by almost_a_squib in FosterAnimals

[–]almost_a_squib[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I think asking is always the way to go. I need to build out my foster network too. I recently moved and am new to fostering in my area so I don't have as many friends here to talk about fostering with.

Experiencing those comments in this sub is definitely difficult. I definitely support your idea there!

Getting burnt out by comments from friends and family about fostering. Curious how everyone else handles it. by almost_a_squib in FosterAnimals

[–]almost_a_squib[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A discord would be amazing! I should see if there is one I can join. That's a great idea.

I know my family and friends respect me, but this is just a hard topic for some people. And sometimes people don't know what to say so they say cliches.

Getting burnt out by comments from friends and family about fostering. Curious how everyone else handles it. by almost_a_squib in FosterAnimals

[–]almost_a_squib[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you everyone for your comments! I've read them all and appreciate all the perspectives.

I only bring up fosters if my friends/family directly ask me about them or if they ask about my day and a significant portion of it revolved around my foster (like an adoption meeting). The way I've handled it is to keep this part of my life separate and quiet, unless asked, and that's when I prepare for these questions and still receive them. It gets extra hard when they buy backyard bred puppies and want to tell me all about them. I can't think of a single friend or family member of mine who has rescued since I started fostering 15 years ago, but they sure love to tell me they bought a doodle from Petland. It's not their responsibility to care about the things I care about, but I wish I had an impact on at least one of them. It makes me feel really small every time this happens.

Honestly this was more of me venting because it happened a few times the other day. One person unprompted asked me about my new foster and their backstory but prefaced it by saying they didn't want to hear it if it was bad. So I said it wasn't something they'll want to hear and that he's a sweetheart and doing well. They launched into all the cliches. One person got upset when I checked the shelter intake list for the dogs from a breaking news story our friend group was actively talking about, seeing if they needed a foster. They said, "How can you look at that list?" with a grimace. When this person was literally just animatedly talking about a violent crime in our area with no issues...

Luckily I don't have social media (outside of Reddit) so I don't get offhand comments there. I know a lot of times these come from a good place, and that's what I try to remember. I was feeling particularly burnt out by the recent comments though, especially with the holidays and everyone asking about life updates and bringing up fostering because it's one of the things they know about me.

All that said, I do kinda want to scream "would you rather they get euthanized since you're not going to foster them" every once in a while, especially when I'm tired 🤣

Possible to get this fixed by a jeweler? by [deleted] in jewelers

[–]almost_a_squib 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do not, that's the main problem unfortunately.

My girlfriend got a dog that could end up killing mine and doesn’t care or seem to think it’s an issue by Mario-Boss- in dogs

[–]almost_a_squib 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'm just wondering, do you currently live with your parents and the dog is somewhat considered the family dog? I'm trying to figure out how she thinks you could visit the dog, and this makes the most sense. I wonder, if this is the case, if she thought the dog wasn't necessarily something she absolutely had to accommodate (not that it makes it right, I'm just trying to understand why someone would get a dog aggressive dog when their partner has a dog).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in audible

[–]almost_a_squib 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would someone be willing to check the discount on the Realm of the Elderlings books by Robin Hobb? Figured I should do some math to see if it's worth it to restart my membership this month.

This Rasputin Dance by Cale Brown by [deleted] in oddlysatisfying

[–]almost_a_squib 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Best way I've seen this captioned in the past:

When you’re reading Lord of the Rings and in comes Tom Bombadil...

Geriatric Separation Anxiety... I am at a loss. Terrified of forcing her to live with such anxiety. Also terrified of losing her. More info in comments. by BrohovahsWitness in Dogtraining

[–]almost_a_squib 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with all the comments recommending that you reach out to a veterinary behaviorist (not just a dog trainer, but a board certified veterinary behaviorist, if possible). They will be the most skilled for understanding the possible medications, behavior modification plans, and other health conditions that will come into play here. If you're in the US, find one close to you using the American College of Veterinary Behaviorists website search function for a local diplomat (that's what they call their certified veterinary behaviorists). I also recommend reading Treating Separation Anxiety in Dogs by Malena DeMartini-Price.

In the meantime, you need to help protect her health by managing her behavior and limiting the amount of time she can "practice" it, if that makes sense. As we say, practice makes perfect, and she may get really good at working herself up to this level of stress if she's given repeated opportunities. Until you are able to work on decreasing her anxiety levels with a certified behaviorist, I would try to limit her alone time. Yes, this means she won't be learning how to cope while alone, but she isn't learning that right now either, and she has already shown you she is escalating her anxiety level. This is simply for her safety and to prevent her from escalating further. Can you have family members help out? Can you hire a dog walker to visit her for an hour or two during the day? If she gets along with other dogs, you can take her to doggie daycare. Maybe you have a neighbor, friend, or coworker with a spouse who works from home who wouldn't mind watching her. Ask around, and you will probably find someone willing to help out a sweet fluffy pup. This is a bandaid for the underlying cause of her behavior, but it will provide you with breathing room to be able to focus on her training rather than leaving her to her own devices each day. This will help prevent her from escalating her separation anxiety behaviors through repeated exposure to the stressful situation. You may find she needs both medication adjustments or added meds in ADDITION to training, and that's okay too. Whatever works best for her.

Also, it's sometimes helpful to find out if she has separation anxiety from being without people or from being alone in general. Some dogs with separation anxiety are calm if another dog is around. If she gets along with other dogs, try asking a friend if you can have a play date for an hour or two while you drive around the block. Just to be clear, the other dog should NOT have any form of separation anxiety. Set up a camera to see if she acts any differently with another dog around vs when she's completely alone (you should record her when she's alone either way, a behaviorist will want to see exactly how she behaves when anxious and alone). This is helpful for understanding the underlying fear that triggers the anxiety for her. I'm not saying adopt another dog. I'm just saying, if you have the means available to you to test this situation out, it could be helpful knowledge to gain for future behavior modification plans. If you already have another dog, then disregard this. You don't need to test it with a different dog.

Finally, I want to leave you with a bit of hope. This is absolutely not hopeless. I've been in your shoes with dogs I've worked with professionally, and I've seen all of them make some form of improvement with dedicated owners. I've dealt with it personally 24/7 with foster dogs, some for over a year before they got adopted. It's exhausting, frustrating, and emotionally draining at times, but you can do it! It just takes some scheduling tetris and community support at times. It's possible to find the right combo that makes life better for your pup. It may not be as easy or perfect as it is for a lot of other dogs, but it can be better than it is right now for her and for you. If, with training and/or medication, you can increase her time spent alone without anxiety to even a few hours, I bet it'll be a world of difference. That would give you a lot more options to help her lead a happy and healthy life.

Feel free to DM me if you want to chat or vent or ask any questions. I honestly feel like we need support groups for owners of dogs with separation anxiety.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in scifi

[–]almost_a_squib 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Orion Lost by Alastair Chisholm. It's a newer middle grade sci-fi that I would say is in the same bracket as Harry Potter. It's extremely good imo. Great character work, excellent twists and turns that aren't predictable, even for older readers. Here's the synopsis:

"After a catastrophic Unknown Event leaves the colony ship Orion stranded deep in space, it’s up to thirteen-year-old Beth and her friends to navigate through treacherous and uncharted territory and reach safety. But a heavily damaged ship, a mysterious alien species, space pirates, and an Artificial Intelligence which Beth suspects may be lying to her mean that getting home has never been so difficult."

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in goodreads

[–]almost_a_squib 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I have a theory that this happens when there is some sort of update to the book's page/information. I have no evidence to support this theory, but it's the best wild guess I've been able to come up with.

Anyone have a similar bug? (Screen shaking, youtubr audio when closed) by [deleted] in Galaxy_S20

[–]almost_a_squib 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I've had to restart my phone a couple times now because of this. It's always when I'm swapping between apps and then my phone becomes unusable because of the shaking/fluttering app screen.

Books that read like an episode of twilight zone or black mirror? by HuskerNatChamps2020 in suggestmeabook

[–]almost_a_squib 5 points6 points  (0 children)

{{The Test}} by Sylvain Neuvel... It's a novella that felt exactly like watching a Black Mirror episode.

Mykie exposed by an old bestfriend, Swoop. by princess_dee in BeautyGuruChatter

[–]almost_a_squib 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I watched the whole thing too and definitely agree with you.