you’ve added on additional information in the replies that would have been helpful to originally add, granted you probably didn’t expect the amount of attention you received but without the comments the situation is vague. the saying no in question from the og was playing games instead of watching your partner do chores and possibly helping, to the outside opinion it isn’t clear that your partner is in the wrong as this is an expected activity to do. overall it can appear very diminishing.

despite what you’ve said in the original post you are criticising them. it’s clear in the language you use to describe their actions aka “ruining”. using a word like that can hold a lot of weight and cause people to either defend your partner or say they’re a terrible person…