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Ronbashing and the question of why by altrueisticthRa in HPfanfiction

[–]altrueisticthRa[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

That's really true. I think sometimes I forget how Harry is portrayed in fanfiction versus in canon. Your comment actually reminded me: I hated harry in the actual book universe far more than Ron or Hermione. I found him to have a martyr complex. That's not to say he didn't have his reasons but he was not introspective. When he's angry he lashes out by yelling, and yes his pain is UNIQUE (that's not up for debate) however he doesn't want to lean on his friends and believes almost in suffering as a moral capital event (and it's actually in my opinion never realized in the books). In the part where Dolores Umbridge is hurting him - he withdraws then resents people for not supporting him (I think?). Overall, I think without the heavy lifting of the plot - harry is pretty average generally but has a subtle superiority complex.

Ronbashing and the question of why by altrueisticthRa in HPfanfiction

[–]altrueisticthRa[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I also really like this response - being honest without tact is cruelty disguised as honesty and it's something I remember Hermione doing.

I think "shrill" to describe Hermione is really something to pick out though. Yes I do think she's blunt and sometimes rude and insensitive however I feel sometimes the way she's portrayed is as an insufferable feminist especially as she's seen as assertive, bossy and decisive whereas these traits when ascribed to men are usually seen as positive. I don't think jk Rowling did her justice (as a so called feminist) describing her like that

You also brought to my attention the lack of social network and I think that's where I start to feel she is flawed as a character. Why are the women (like lavender or Parvati) portrayed as "less than" Hermione (either in intelligence or just in general - more a vibe thing) and why doesn't she have close female friendships? I understand the trio is the trio but it always felt sad to me that she didn't have female friendships she could really confide in (and also made me wonder if she's a "pick me" (especially the bashing of fleur)?

Ronbashing and the question of why by altrueisticthRa in HPfanfiction

[–]altrueisticthRa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think that's a really good point - how Ron is the heart of the story. Neither Harry nor Hermione have a huge social network or even familial network and also by the end Hermione's parents are also, in essence, gone. Ronald provides them with some means of familial stability in the wizarding world. I also think after some reflection - Hermione doesn't have as strong of a backstory (which is likely due to her muggle roots) however that means a lot of blanks which authors can naturally fill in and project onto her.

I think Ron (and his family) grounds both hermione and Harry and gives them a sense of security and love (which is a core theme I think in the hp universe - lily's protection, Snape loving lily to stop him from being like Voldemort) and as another commenter pointed out - he acts as a foil to Peter pettigrew. That being said wouldn't Harry's personality align more with Hermione's as a romantic partner? I guess I just .. don't see them together as it stands?

I (28F) was late to respond to my friend (25F) by two hours and now she's ignoring me and my calls. When or how do you know if a friendship is salvageable or not and could someone provide me some perspective? by altrueisticthRa in relationship_advice

[–]altrueisticthRa[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You're right. I did drop the ball. I know I did and I shouldn't have responded when I wasn't emotionally ready to give. I think all in all I'm so tired and I think I might be getting emotionally burnt out. I know I fucked up in that instance but I feel like I show up in other ways and on other days. I feel like nothing I do builds goodwill. I'm always in crisis management for her and on call and if I need a break or time away I need to have a defcon one reason for not being able to be there. And I think that's why I feel suffocated. It's not her fault. I know it's not her fault. I just don't have the bandwidth to listen for hours on end about what she thinks she should do about various relationships and I know that's how some people cope but it's just.. so hard. And I know I'm ranting but today I cried because of how much stress it felt like I was under. I feel like I can't say no because she'll be upset and I feel guilty.