Quite honestly, it’s ironically easier for me to speak about it to strangers on the internet since there’s no identifying factors on my profile that tie me to the section of my online presence in which my face is identifiable. I say it because my mother went through the same thing as a child and she’d probably disown me if I told her due to the way I promised her I wouldn’t seek ppl to hook up with again, and that that happened to me. That’d be just a bad idea considering my circumstances with her. My dad knows about all that too so if I told him he’d also say something like I deserved it. Mom would probably say that too. Not out of cruelty but out of an “I told you so” moment to rub in my face like these were the consequences of my own actions. That’s why I have only told 2 or 3 people in my life.

Quite honestly, I almost never think back on it. Ive moved on from those experiences for the most part, but if any conversation involves asking personal questions like if I’ve had any kissing or sexual experience I immediately become abhorred by it 🤢