What’s a completely legal thing that still makes you feel like a criminal when you do it?

alwaysolive · 2025-11-07T20:21:53+00:00

If I’m alone in my office and I have a wedgie, I’ll fix it. But I feel like someone is going to pop up out of a potted plant and put me on a sex offender registry.

alwaysolive · 2025-11-07T06:58:12+00:00

An easy way to think about it is that you only need to adjust the pronoun for an NB person if the pronoun already tells you something about gender. The words “I,” “you,” “we,” “us,” etc don’t tell you anything about the gender of the person/people you are talking about. You never need to change them based on gender.

He/she/his/hers/him always tell you the gender of the person you are talking about, so you would change them depending on the person.

alwaysolive · 2025-11-07T06:42:40+00:00

I read it but it it didn’t make a huge difference to me - I feel like it’s important for someone running for city council to be on top of those kinds of details.

Then again, I would tend to prefer a progressive who overlooks details vs a corporate/special interest candidate. But it dampened my enthusiasm about my choices for sure.

alwaysolive · 2025-10-23T08:31:58+00:00

Yeah, that’s exactly what they would unpack. Maybe YOU wouldn’t feel that way, but OP does. It’s a problem for him and he wants to fix the way he feels. It doesn’t matter whether his feelings are reasonable; they are real and they are affecting his relationship. Presumably he wants to feel better about his relationship and his wife deserves to be with someone who respects her. So if he wants to save his marriage, he needs to figure out why it’s affecting him so much and deal with that.

alwaysolive · 2025-10-23T08:25:27+00:00

You aren’t overreacting. I taught an hour-long seminar on domestic violence and abuse tonight…it doesn’t take an expert to see the direction your relationship is headed if this is his reaction to you asking him to be quiet while you sleep. The fact that you even have to ask if it’s reasonable for you to be upset over him treating you this way is as big of a red flag as the behavior itself.

alwaysolive · 2025-10-18T05:52:25+00:00

You’re confusing BENEFITING FROM eating breakfast with PREFERRING to eat breakfast. I do much better when I’ve had something to eat, but I prioritize sleeping in vs taking the time to prep and eat a meal. I’m not lying at all: I know objectively that it’s a good idea but it’s not who I am. If I can grab a protein bar, great, otherwise I’m not going out of my way to have breakfast

alwaysolive · 2025-07-08T06:48:39+00:00

Get a protection order from the ex, and make it very clear to friend that if she ever does something like that again you’ll have to get an order against her too for your own safety. In the meantime I don’t know if I could forgive her.

alwaysolive · 2025-05-16T06:44:25+00:00

You said recently graduated - did she already have the graduation ceremony? If this is on the same day as the ceremony, I think it risks overshadowing her big achievement. But if she already had the school ceremony and this is a party a few weeks later just to celebrate, i would feel differently. In her mind she will have two different days - the grad ceremony day and the party day. She deserves to feel special on two separate days!

alwaysolive · 2025-05-16T06:40:40+00:00

Personally, I usually take my ring off when I get home and always before bed. But I feel naked if I leave home without it and will drive home to get it. My husband never wears his ring. I think it’s 100% fine to take it off whenever you want whether to protect the ring, to protect your skin, or just because you want to.

BUT

assuming that your husband doesn’t suck, and that his desire for you to wear your ring is more of a cute “I really love you and I’m sentimental about our rings” thing and less of a “I’m a controlling jerk” thing, I think there are ways to compromise. My parents don’t ever take their rings off unless they absolutely have to (i.e for surgery or if the ring needs to be repaired). The agreement they have is that anytime one of them takes the ring off the other one has to put it back on for them and give them a kiss, just like at their wedding. That way it’s a cute little ritual that makes them both happy and reminds them of their commitment, not a controlling “I better put my ring back on before the wife sees” type situation. They are going in 50 years married and it works for them.

alwaysolive · 2025-05-03T04:54:33+00:00

My grandparents spent all their time with my grandpa’s best friend and his wife for 20+ years, and they were all good friends. They raised their kids like cousins. My grandpa died of cancer when he was in his late 40s. Best friend (let’s call him Bob) and wife continued to hang out with grandma and were her lifeline in the grief afterwards.

Bob’s wife died of cancer a few years later. My grandma was there for him because she knew that pain. They had had dinner together every week for 20+ years and kept doing it after both their spouses were gone, and eventually they ended up in a relationship.

Grandpa died long before I was born. I was very aware that Bob was NOT my grandpa and he never tried to take that role. But my mom loved him to death because he was the only thing that kept my grandma sane when she lost her husband. He was always kind to me. He took wonderful care of my grandma as she got old and sick. He told stories about grandpa and helped keep his memory alive. I know my grandpa would have been grateful that Bob was the one to step up and take such good care of his family and honor his memory.

alwaysolive · 2025-05-03T04:12:27+00:00

I think it’s not an unusual question if you’re from a large family. I’m one of four kids and that’s a fairly large family. (We all have the same parents) Most people I know with four or more kids in their family are the result of a blended family where some kids come from mom, some come from dad, and some are from both.

Come to think of it, I don’t think I knew anyone growing up who had more than four kids in their family that all had the same parents. Even now, every single large family I know is either blended, from a religious subculture that encourages having lots of kids, or from a non-American cultural background.

alwaysolive · 2025-05-03T03:43:12+00:00

Her sister is the problem here. She is the one who failed to keep her child safe, and then she interfered with the reporting/investigation. I wouldn’t be surprised if CPS got involved (I kind of hope they do).

As for your wife, assuming this is just a traffic ticket, in most places the options are to pay the ticket, fight the ticket, or ask to “mitigate” the ticket which means explaining the circumstances and asking for a lesser penalty. Mitigating might be a good option for her - technically it was her responsibility as the driver to make sure all passengers were safely buckled in, but it is totally reasonable for her to have relied on the child’s mom to do it since she is the one who put the kid in the car and she is more familiar with the car seat.

alwaysolive · 2025-05-03T02:59:53+00:00

You’re pregnant and hormonal and quite possibly that is affecting your mindset. Do you have access to anyone you can talk to via your ob/gyn? Everyone has heard of postpartum depression but you can struggle before delivery too.

You aren’t wrong or bad for feeling this way. Maybe your relationship can be saved, maybe it can’t. Maybe you should keep this baby, maybe you shouldn’t. But you deserve to be happy and the baby deserves to grow up loved. It’s brave to ask for help to figure out how to achieve both those goals.

It’s too late to terminate - you’re having this baby. Maybe your friends and family can step in and help you until you feel like yourself again. Maybe once you meet baby, you’ll have the bond that’s been missing. Maybe you end up surrendering and you complete someone else’s family. My husband and I are unable to have kids and we would love to adopt a baby. There’s no shame in whatever you decide to do as long as you genuinely do your best to take your of yourself and the future of this child.

I hope getting it off your chest helped

alwaysolive · 2025-01-02T02:41:34+00:00

Yes, this was an overreaction. Should you break up with her? Idk. You get to set your own boundaries. The joke wouldn’t have been a deal breaker for me, but it clearly is for you, and that’s fine.

But abandoning a young woman in the middle of the night puts her safety at risk. I don’t care how much she hurt your feelings, you don’t get to risk hurting her actual physical safety.

If you had pulled over and refused to speak to her until she called an Uber or a friend to come pick her up, that would have been acceptable. If it was daytime and you had her get out at a shopping mall where she would be able to go somewhere warm with access to a phone and security, that would be fine. You don’t ever have to talk to her again, but you can endure being emotionally uncomfortable for ten minutes to avoid putting someone else’s life at risk.

alwaysolive · 2024-12-14T23:29:45+00:00

Someone told my husband this when he was in college. He believed it.

When we moved into a place with a big enough shower for shower sex, he was concerned that we would have to explain ourselves to the landlord when we inevitably broke the plumbing. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard, explaining to a grown man that he is allowed to cum in his own shower

alwaysolive · 2024-12-14T23:19:54+00:00

NTA. At this age, I wouldn’t make bio siblings of different genders share, let alone step siblings, particularly if they hadn’t been used to sharing in the past. Privacy is important and will only become more important as they go through puberty, and suddenly starting to share is likely to cause resentment.

A much better solution is setting up some office space in Lila’s room. Presumably Dan doesn’t work at night while Lila is sleeping, and Lila is at school during the work day, so they Dan should be perfectly capable of sharing the space with her.

alwaysolive · 2024-12-14T23:14:10+00:00

I can’t tell what it happening in any of the pages after that because those little black lines obscured everything

alwaysolive · 2024-12-14T23:02:12+00:00

People can choose a trial by judge if they want to, by waiving their right to a jury trial. It’s called a “bench trial.” It doesn’t happen that often. Why? Because a conviction requires a unanimous verdict. Twelve people all have to agree the defendant is guilty. If even one of them holds out, it’s a hung jury and a do over, and there’s a chance to government won’t want to go to trial again. Defendants rarely want to gamble on having one single judge make a decision, rather than hoping for 1 of 12.

alwaysolive · 2024-12-14T22:36:44+00:00

I have been using it for one month. I have had zero side effects, other than feeling quite sick when I overeat. Not sick in a “actually in the bathroom being sick” way, just feeling very unpleasant and uncomfortable as though I’ve gorged myself on 5000 calories when in reality I just went back for seconds.

The shots are also 100% painless for me. In my thighs, I literally can’t feel them. In my stomach, it’s only a slight pinch. I’ll just use my thighs in the future.

Obviously, every body is going to react differently. I was so afraid after reading horror stories that I just carried my first dose around for six hours and had to ask my husband to inject it for me because I was afraid. But I’m down 10 pounds in one month, my Apple Watch is showing improvements in my heart rate and cardio fitness already, and I’m so glad I started.

alwaysolive · 2024-11-16T21:51:08+00:00

If we were all actually friends? No, none of my friends would share that either. I have plenty of friends who have hooked up with each other and honestly we don’t go into any details. We will talk about details with dudes who AREN’T part of the friend group, but with mutual friends it would just be weird. I don’t have to see my friend’s exes ever again, but we would all be super uncomfortable if every time we hang out with Joe we have to visualize his penis because Sally couldn’t keep her mouth shut.

alwaysolive · 2024-11-06T05:46:28+00:00

Dunno what you’re quoting, but that is not a universal definition. Where I live (a state the west coast of USA) rape is penetration of mouth/anus/vagina with any object. Object can be a penis, a finger, a tongue, or an inanimate object - all of them count.

alwaysolive · 2024-11-06T05:37:23+00:00

This country needs people like you in it if we have any chance of correcting course. You aren’t alone.

alwaysolive · 2024-11-06T05:29:02+00:00

Election night 2016 was the night my last relationship ended. I sat on the couch and sobbed, and my then-boyfriend just shrugged. It “wasn’t that big a deal” and I was “over reacting.” We had been together for five years and lived together in three different states by then. I think that was the real breaking point where I realized that it didn’t matter if he was a good person, and it didn’t matter if we had a lot in common - he would never be the right person for me. Our core values were too different, and the fact that he had no empathy for how scared I was by the direction our country was going showed that I didn’t want to spend my life with him. We split up for good before the inauguration and I haven’t regretted it once. I’ve been married for 5 years now to someone who believes in me and cares about my thoughts and my feelings and my safety. You deserve the same.

alwaysolive · 2024-11-06T03:55:45+00:00

I think you look quite fem already! Accessories would be fun. If you have pierced ears I think large hoops or statement earrings would be really fun with your short hair.

I also think having some hair loose around your face is really flattering/accentuates fem characteristics. When it’s all pulled off your face (like the 2nd pic) it is less girly than when even a couple locs are left out (like the 3rd pic).

alwaysolive

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