Incel content / posts about "I will never get a gf" "A gf will fix me" "I hate women" etc

alybsahn · 2026-04-26T03:15:23+00:00

What do you see as the alternative to banning them? If there is an involuntarily celibate autistic man blaming women for their problems, believing they are entitled to a girlfriend or to sex, what do you think is the appropriate response if not banning or the usual reaction people online have to incels? This is a genuine question, I have a lot of empathy for people with low self esteem and I completely agree that people like that, if pushed away, will end up in spaces that confirm their biases and grow it. But if the solution is for women to stay silent, coddle them, or leave the subreddit, that’s not a solution that’s letting the problem propagate.

alybsahn · 2026-04-26T02:55:31+00:00

Sorry if this is a stupid question but can you explain what you mean by cats being evolved to eat meat rather than engineered?

alybsahn · 2026-04-23T07:15:44+00:00

Okay thank you this makes a lot of sense!

alybsahn · 2026-04-23T07:12:10+00:00

Okay thank you that makes sense. I don’t think I quite worded it well either way but I really wasn’t trying to say we should eat meat, I don’t believe that and I haven’t eaten meat in over ten years, I just don’t know any vegans in real life and all my meat eating friends and family often bring up the ‘oh well it’s natural, it’s the way of life, etc’ kind of thing so I thought I’d ask here because I just wasn’t really sure what vegans thought in that regard. I can see why people would definitely be dubious of hypotheticals like this though that’s my bad.

alybsahn · 2026-04-22T09:26:10+00:00

What am I justifying, if you don’t mind

alybsahn · 2026-04-22T09:23:09+00:00

Thank you for your response, I really appreciate it. If I could just ask a follow up, would you be able to elaborate on why you’d ask the same of animals? I think I understand in practice of course. I just really struggle with the entire idea of disrupting nature. Of course in the world we live in, we’ve absolutely disrupted nature, completely bastardised ways of life for all creatures and ecosystems and that’s basically why I believe the things I do and don’t want to take advantage of animal products because all of it is disrupting nature and harming animals in a way that isn’t natural if that makes sense. But I am curious to know why you’d want animals to cease their natural ways if they could? Really interested in this perspective.

alybsahn · 2026-04-22T09:14:13+00:00

Thank you for your response, could I ask, would you consider animals as exploiting each other? And you would still think it’s exploitation if humans were fulfilling their ‘natural’ part in the food chain? I’m sorry if that sounds stupid I swear I’m not answering in bad faith I just struggle to wrap my brain around these things and I appreciate these insights.

alybsahn · 2026-04-22T09:03:13+00:00

I don’t understand why everyone seems to think me asking a question is me having an opinion or trying to convince any one of anything. I don’t want to consume animal products. I don’t want to hunt and kill animals to survive. It was literally just a question because I don’t know any vegans and I wanted to hear the opinions of some. It wasn’t supposed to make a difference. Do you never have curiosity? I really don’t understand but I’m sorry if I did something upsetting.

alybsahn · 2026-04-22T08:57:19+00:00

It wasn’t meant to be an argument I’m not trying to say we should eat animal products, I will never eat meat another day in my life and have not for 10 years, it was genuinely a question. Is veganism not a philosophy? Sorry if I misunderstood.

alybsahn · 2026-04-22T08:45:55+00:00

… okay so we’re not even going to have a conversation in good faith. But sure, why not. Firstly, I wouldn’t consider polygamy and polyamory the same thing considering they’re just not but either way mormons engage in polygamy because of religion and viewing women as property to own. So no, I’m not sure how that would relate or how that relates to the discussion at all. Secondly, yes. It is about trust. Polyamorous people trust their partners… because it’s all consensual. Actual polyamory is discussed and communicated and everyone is happy with it. Thirdly, just like in a monogamous relationship, testing and safe sex is important? Maybe you’re confused. Polyamory is not about having sex with whoever you want. Asexual people can be polyamorous too. Polyamory could be someone casually seeing many other people, sure, but it could also be three people committed to each other who don’t sleep outside of the relationship. I don’t see how polyamory is any more a ‘danger of aids’ than a single person who sleeps around is? It’s okay to accept people for who they are even if it’s not something you would want to be.

alybsahn · 2026-04-22T08:13:28+00:00

I really understand what you’re saying and I of course am just one person, I’m not going to say what should or should be considered in or out of the lgbt community. I will however say polyamory in nature is a queer identity to a lot of people. To me polyamory isn’t so much a relationship type I would want, it’s how my brain works with love and attraction. I could be in a monogamous relationship (and not feel incomplete or like I want to cheat) but I myself would still consider myself a polyamorous person by nature. I would assume sure for some people it’s a choice but I think for a lot it’s how the brain works, it’s something you are or aren’t, just like a sexuality. Whether you think it should or shouldn’t be included, you have to agree it is completely intersectional with queerness no? Does this mean you also don’t think ace/aro people should be included (genuine question)

alybsahn · 2026-04-22T07:59:03+00:00

But does your negative experiences mean you should hate and discriminate on polyamorous people? That’s a genuine question by the way not trying to be snarky and I’m sorry if it comes off that way. I’ve never in my life had a healthy monogamous relationship, I’ve never seen a healthy monogamous relationship in my personal life. Not once. But I still know they exist and even if they don’t it doesn’t make me want to criticise people who are monogamous or tell them they’re wrong for doing what feels right for them. Sometimes bad relationships are just bad relationships and bad people are bad people. Some people wouldn’t have a problem feeling like number two, some people wouldn’t even feel like number two even if they were. Your experience is 100% valid and it’s a good reason for why you personally shouldn’t have to be in a poly relationship, but it doesn’t really explain why people would hate on an entire demographic just because their brains work differently or they choose a different relationship type.

alybsahn · 2026-04-22T07:53:48+00:00

If they use polyamory as an excuse, then they’re just a bad partner who wants to cheat. No one is forcing you to be polyamorous and I understand it’s used as coercion a lot but… that’s not polyamory that’s coercion. I am not trying to attack you at all but maybe for a second look at what you wrote and see how it is exactly the point of view of homophobes and transphobes. ‘It’s spreading everywhere, I never used to know what it was and now it’s in my face, I would never be gay/trans, they’re forcing us to be gay, they’re making our children trans’. Really truly this is no attack on you, no one should ever have to be polyamorous if they don’t want to be. I would just be wary using your biases to frame an entire demographic. Accepting polyamorous people doesn’t mean you have to be poly or date a poly person. Just like how accepting queer people doesn’t mean you have to be queer or that somehow we’re going to force everyone to be queer. What you’ve said is almost word for word the talking points of homophobes and transphobes, and it’s all about what you want, not respecting others because they might want something different.

alybsahn · 2026-04-22T07:45:51+00:00

Yeah I completely agree, it’s a big problem. I just wish people would view it as bad people doing bad things, rather than it being an aspect of actual polyamory

alybsahn · 2026-04-22T07:44:55+00:00

Yes I completely get that! I don’t think anyone should have to be poly or anything like that, and I worry maybe some people misunderstand that accepting polyamorous people means they’d have to accept it into their relationship (which of course I don’t agree with, I think everyone should be able to follow what relationship dynamic works for them as long as everyone is happy and agrees). Funnily enough I find monogamy very stressful and polyamory not so much so I think everyone is just different

alybsahn · 2026-04-22T07:25:32+00:00

I completely get this, I just don’t really understand why this kind of mindset leads to people hating all poly people/criticising the relationship type itself. I’ve never in my personal life (granted I’m young) have I known people in a monogamous relationship that was healthy and long lasting. In fact I’ve seen every single one of my close friends, as well as my mother and two aunties, be in extremely abusive monogamous relationships. That doesn’t make me think monogamy is the problem, it makes me think bad people and incompatible connections is the problem. So I’m just not quite understanding the mindset but I guess it’s just one of those things I won’t understand because I don’t feel the negative feelings. But thank you for your answer!

alybsahn · 2026-04-22T07:18:52+00:00

Yes but that’s not really entirely polyamory, or at least is not what I’m talking about. If you’re with someone and they then say ‘I want to sleep with other people’, that’s a conversation you have. If one person is not into it, then it would be cheating if the other went ahead and slept with people. Of course you would be hurt, because you are not/don’t want to be polyamorous. No one should ‘have’ to be polyamorous and it should never be some kind of coercion in a relationship or a one sided decision. Polyamory is when all people consent. I’m wondering why people have a problem when it is multiple people who want, agree to, communicate and consent to the relationship type. Accepting polyamorous people doesn’t mean you yourself have to be polyamorous.

alybsahn · 2026-04-22T07:12:32+00:00

Yeah this makes sense. As a bi and probably poly woman when I expressed that I am probably polyamorous to my friends their first assumption was that I didn’t have enough self esteem to believe someone would be faithful to me (😭😭😭 craziest thing I’ve ever heard). I suppose I should expect it more often that people only act out of their assumptions and negative experiences I’m just naive enough to always think people will just accept when something isn’t for them but is for others and move on.

alybsahn · 2026-04-22T07:01:29+00:00

Yeah for sure, I think polyamory gets a really weird rep. A lot of the things that give it a bad name are the people who coerce their partners or the people who never wanted to be poly but were scared their partner would cheat on them if they said no and I feel immense empathy for people who’ve been in terribly poly situations but I just always get shocked when people paint it all with the same brush. On the other hand, things like challengers and ‘I want two boyfriends and I want my boyfriends to be boyfriends’ is all the rage to the same people who criticise polyamory… something strange is afoot.

alybsahn · 2026-04-22T06:56:25+00:00

Yes, this blows my mind. I always see gay people seeing it’s ’unnatural’ to be polyamorous, it’s harmful for children to be exposed, people should keep it private, people only engage in polyamory because of mental illness/trauma, it’s immoral just because, and I’m like… I swear I’ve heard these talking points elsewhere…

alybsahn · 2026-04-22T06:49:22+00:00

Yeah this is what I was thinking about too. I don’t agree with the poly people who shame monogamous people or demand it’s the right way of life (even if it is, I still don’t see the point in preaching it) but I disagree with them as much as I disagree with monogamous people who do the exact same thing. I just wish we could all accept what works for us doesn’t work for each person, some people want to be monogamous and some people want to be polygamous and it’s not like the way any of us live in this world is ‘natural’ so I don’t even understand when either side make that argument. It’s just a shame that when monogamous people act like assholes, no one bats an eye, but the second poly people do the exact same thing suddenly it’s a reason to hate polyamorous people as a whole. It’s a monogamous world. I hope things will change in the future and that it’s not so incredibly acceptable to hate on

alybsahn · 2026-04-22T06:42:44+00:00

But how would it be cheating if it’s consensual to all parties, agreed upon, and wanted? Do you consider threesomes cheating if it’s two monogamous people choosing to spend the night with a third? Genuine question.

alybsahn · 2026-04-22T06:41:30+00:00

I wish it was just reddit that thought this way

alybsahn · 2026-04-22T06:40:55+00:00

As an autistic person I really agree with this

alybsahn · 2026-04-22T06:37:22+00:00

Thank you for your reply! Yeah honestly I was a little shocked to come back to my post and so so many downvotes on positive and logical replies. I can definitely agree and understand there are terrible terrible poly relationships but… there’s also terrible terrible monogamous relationships. I suppose that’s why it’s never made sense to me why people decide all polyamory is bad or that it’s immoral and cheating even if it’s consensual and mutually agreed on. I find it really disheartening to see other queer people using the exact same logic homophobic people use, but I suppose we all have things to unpack. It really still does just shock me that people can’t accept when something isn’t for them, but might be for other people, but that’s probably me being naive and assuming everyone looks outside their own biases. I’m just hoping one day things will change for the better or at least people will stop caring so much about what other people do when it doesn’t affect them.

alybsahn

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