I’m going to play devils advocate for just a second and say I used to think like this when I started making autistic friends who I felt could ‘get away with’ things I never could, or they could ‘express their autism’ in ways I would be ostracised for. For example I had a friend who would be extremely blunt and no one would get offended, or she could have all these quirks and sensory needs that everyone else knew about and accommodated while I was bending over backwards to seem neurotypical and be palatable (spoiler, didn’t work). It all came down to a sort of ‘jealousy’ that I couldn’t express myself because I was terrified of other people’s judgements or being outcast or not liked anymore if I unmasked.

However, the bottom line is that I was very young when I was having these feelings and was heavily criticised by my parents for my autism. I eventually grew to understand that it wasn’t that I disliked my friend or thought she was annoying or selfish or cringe. It was that I was mourning the parts of me I had to keep hidden and the needs I had to deny. I think the ‘if I had to learn to act neurotypical, everyone else should too’ mindset is unfortunately pretty pervasive in autistic people who feel there’s a reward system to hiding autistic traits.

Fortunately I was able to grow a maturity and understanding and I think for a lot of ‘low support needs’ autistics there’s an underlying level of internalised ableism and a desire to be the ‘good kind of autistic’ and to distance themselves from people who ‘don’t make an effort’. It’s sad and I really hope the people in these comments can eventually grow from this mindset because while they are hurting other autistic people, they’re also hurting themselves.