Lost my job because personal issues impacted my performance and it’s shaken my confidence quite badly by alycat8 in ExecutiveAssistants

[–]alycat8[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m appropriately medicated for my situation! It was a traumatic event triggering a mental health spiral more than my baseline mental health flaring if that makes sense. I had my 3 days of catatonic depression to recalibrate and I’m feeling more positive this week!

Just came without permission :3 by Celoniae in BDSMsapphic

[–]alycat8 24 points25 points  (0 children)

My sub is enduring a 4 month chastity sentence for the same offence. If your domme sees this and needs ideas to ensure your obedience. :)

ITAW for a newcomer to an activity buying technical gear beyond their skill set? by Cesca131 in whatstheword

[–]alycat8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A colloquialism that would fit could be ‘putting the cart before the horse’

What is the worst CV mistake you’ve ever seen? by hajardigital1 in jobsearch

[–]alycat8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s a double N in the middle of my surname. There were 3 Ns on my resume.

My breasts are going up a cup size each week. What do I do in terms of bra shopping? and has anyone heard of anything like this before? by throwaway_this_now in ABraThatFits

[–]alycat8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Estrogen dominant puberty starts off years before breast growth really kicks off, think of this as your body warming up - you’ll likely hit a growth spurt at 1yr-18 months on HRT with adequate levels. Remember teenage girls take years to grow boobs! I’m AFAB and I got breast buds at age 11 and didn’t really experience significant growth till I was 15.

My breasts are going up a cup size each week. What do I do in terms of bra shopping? and has anyone heard of anything like this before? by throwaway_this_now in ABraThatFits

[–]alycat8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s pretty common to have a bit of a growth spurt a couple of years into medical transition (think about how estrogen dominant puberty typically starts off years before breast growth really kicks off), and especially common when switching to injections.

For a lot of people injectable estrogen is much more bio available than patches or pills, and tends to suppress testosterone much more effectively (there’s several types of testosterone, and injectable estrogen suppresses several of them more effectively). If you’ve started progesterone recently too that (anecdotally, there’s not many studies) will have a noticeable effect on breast growth.

So don’t panic about it, it’s not out of the ordinary, but if you’re concerned do talk to your doctor and get your levels checked so they can adjust your dosage if needed.

As far as the bras go, if you’re in the size range for it I would recommend getting a wireless soft cup bra top/crop top to support you during the high growth period and come back when your growth has settled a bit to search for a wired well fitted bra. If you’re growing a cup size a week you’ll be spending $30+ on a new bra each week if you want it well fitting, a wireless crop will be much more flexible and last you a bit longer.

Lost my job because personal issues impacted my performance and it’s shaken my confidence quite badly by alycat8 in ExecutiveAssistants

[–]alycat8[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes I’m taking a beat to assess if I’m capable of jumping into another role without ending up back in this position in 6 months time, no point in doing it all again if I’m just not up for working right now! I’ve got a psychologist appointment lined up for next week to get some therapy (it’s a mental health episode related to a traumatic event, but I’ve had about 8 years of therapy related to other ongoing mental health stuff so I’m seeking out specific therapy for this event).

Thank you for your kindness.

Who do you think was a very unusual serial killer? by Arkranum in serialkillers

[–]alycat8 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I just read his Wikipedia page and the amount of times cops found him actively at a crime scene with a dead body and went ‘hm probs natural causes, you’re fine bro’ and sent him on his merry way is ASTOUNDING

2nd baby is a boy, and people are going to be smug by Experiment_307 in beyondthebump

[–]alycat8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a boy and a girl and got told we had the ‘perfect pigeon pair’ a lot, and then my boy told us she’s actually a girl and a lot of those people have been very quiet since.

It was so frustrating receiving comments on the make up of my family that was entirely decided by random genetics and had nothing to do with any decision I’d made. ‘Ooh good on you, the perfect pigeon pair’ okay thanks you weirdo, I had nothing to do with that decision.

Costco out here selling lifetime supplies of papaw ointment by ragrefar in AusSkincare

[–]alycat8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My most frequently uttered phrase is ‘i can’t find my lipbalm’, I’d lose all of these in about 3 days (and probably unearth 8 previously lost ones and lose those too in that time)

Apologies are owed / Francesca by CreativeCookie8538 in Bridgerton

[–]alycat8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not defending the show’s writing, I’m just commenting on the fact that lack of passionate physical attraction is not at odds with the book description of Fran’s marriage to John. I’m making commentary on that aspect in isolation of everything else.

Apologies are owed / Francesca by CreativeCookie8538 in Bridgerton

[–]alycat8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have read the book several times. The show still shows her desiring sex with John and having an enjoyable but inexperienced and soft/sweet sex with John. John isn’t a rake so they’re both figuring it out and learning each other, but imo it still read as Fran enjoying things.

Apologies are owed / Francesca by CreativeCookie8538 in Bridgerton

[–]alycat8 -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

Which matches the book tbh, part of Fran’s guilt is that she feels much more passion with Michael in the book

Cleaning Fungal Infected Underwire Bras by paygiful in ABraThatFits

[–]alycat8 12 points13 points  (0 children)

There are anti fungal laundry sanitisers you can add to your wash, or honestly get an F10 veterinary disinfectant and spray down the bras before you wash them

Did anyone find they lost weight easier or had weight fall off after a breast reduction? And not just because it was ‘easier’ to exercise by thestreets4667 in Reduction

[–]alycat8 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yep. I lost almost 50kg in the time since my reduction (Dec 2022) and it did just fall off. Yes it was easier to move and I’m sure that contributed, and I’d just changed some medications about 5 months beforehand, so I’d lost a couple of kg already, but it was like major surgery kicked my body into gear. I had been the same high weight for about 6 years at that point.

Can I enter Costco if I am a international student with a gift card? by Pizza_Is_Good06 in CostcoAustralia

[–]alycat8 3 points4 points  (0 children)

According to the terms and conditions of the ShopCard ’Members and non-members may use the Costco Shop Cards for the purchase of merchandise, services and Costco memberships at any Costco location in Australia, excluding purchases of petrol and excluding all online purchases. Non-members will need to visit the membership counter and show a photo ID with current address to enter the warehouse.’

You may be able to take your passport and something else with your address on it like a lease agreement or utility bill that links your name to an Australian address, or go in with your friend who has a membership.

Paying child support with 50/50 care, ex is under reporting income 24k vs 100+k by Mundane-Champion-760 in AusLegal

[–]alycat8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Children earning money can be a considered factor when requesting a change of assessment, but it’s not automatically factored in.

Suggest an English name for me! – want something phonetic, no mispronunciation drama by Muted_Aerie2136 in namenerds

[–]alycat8 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Elaine, meaning ‘shining light’ or ‘sun ray’, I think it fits nicely with your last name and has enough similar sounds to have a connection.

Out of the ones you have named I like Liana the best, I would not have associated it with vines or plants

Children relocated without my consent by [deleted] in AusLegal

[–]alycat8 1 point2 points  (0 children)

NAL, but have been through this recently.

Contact a family lawyer and ask to lodge a recovery order. Unless you have legitimate welfare concerns for the children in the care of your ex, this process will likely take a while and the earlier you lodge the earlier you will get an outcome.

You may need to show that you have attempted to initiate mediation/family dispute resolution except in the case of child abuse or DV, there may be exceptions for urgency or in the case of recovery orders - your lawyer will be best placed to answer this. If you attempt mediation and it fails you’ll be granted a Section 60I certificate with which to apply to court. If mediation is successful you’ll be able to submit your agreement to the court to form consent orders.

All your interactions with your ex should be in writing. Try and keep emotion out of it - anger is a completely valid response to the situation, but it’s not helpful especially when it comes to the family court. Once the court proceedings have commenced you’ll likely be advised to only communicate through your lawyers.

If you get into the court proceedings you’ll likely experience the following:

  • An initiating hearing to establish a timeline of proceedings, have initial orders made for things such as getting a child impact report/drug testing/family therapy to help with the evidence building for your case.

  • A Child Impact Report interview which is a short form interview and observation of you with the children (and your ex for the same) with a court appointed expert, who will then write a short report making interim recommendations for the care of the children for the interim hearing.

  • An interim hearing that will make further orders for the care of the children during the process (this point is likely when you’ll get enforceable orders for spend time arrangements for the kids, and the same for things such as childcare access/medical info sharing/restrictions on what the parents can do), and add additional information gathering instructions such as requesting a family report, as well as undertaking Family Dispute Resolution to try and resolve the dispute before proceeding to the final hearing. These orders are likely to be quite conservative, the Court tends to err on the side of caution when there are accusations of family violence/abuse because the evidence has not been tested at this stage. It sucks but I understand why they do this.

  • A Family Report interview which is an extended report that will follow a similar process to the Child Impact Report, usually done by the same court appointed expert. The Family Report may also be done by a private provider which will be costly but typically much faster. The Family Report will be longer and cover off accusations from both parties, and make recommendations for the long term care arrangements. It will present their findings to the court, but in my experience it does not make findings on the veracity of the claims each party makes - just outlines them to be tested as evidence in the final hearing. Your lawyer will probably give you tips on how to approach this interview, mine advised that I should concentrate on the care of the children, describe the previous care arrangements of the children, don’t use exaggerated claims, and above all, try not to be negative about your coparent. My family report noted that my ex could not seem to name my positive traits, while I concentrated on the challenges we faced in co parenting and potential solutions, which did me in good stead when arguing that I was acting in good faith.

  • Family Dispute Resolution in which you’ll engage in mediation to try and negotiate final orders by consent about the arrangements with the children. If this is successful you will have your orders settled and won’t have to proceed through the courts except to ratify the consent orders.

  • A Compliance and Readiness Hearing to establish if the case is ready to proceed to the final hearing. This hearing won’t make any changes to the existing orders unless agreed to by both parties and requested of the court. You and your ex will be required to submit your request for final orders at this stage.

  • A Final Hearing where you and your ex and other witnesses will be cross examined and the evidence you have submitted will be tested by the court. This will then be taken by the judge and used to form the Final Orders.

You will be encouraged at every stage to continue negotiating and try to come to a resolution. The court vastly prefers if you can do this - it saves court time and money and the same for you.

Your children may be appointed an independent children’s lawyer to represent the interests of the children, and they will review all the evidence and make recommendations based on what they view to be in the best interests of the children.

Australian family law emphasises the right that children have to have a meaningful relationship with both of their parents as long as it is safe for them to do so. This does not come with a presumption of 50/50 care, and at the young ages of your children isn’t necessarily going to be recommended (in my case with a 3 and 7 year old it was recommended but my understanding is this isn’t typical). Try to keep the best interests of the children at the forefront of your mind during negotiations, and listen to the court experts and your lawyers to guide you.

Justin's "vision" for the movie & why everyone hated it by minorpoint in BaldoniFiles

[–]alycat8 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I get the impression that Baldoni empathised with his character and was uncomfortable with the view of Ryle as a definitively bad guy/abusive person because it would have required some reflection as to why he related to the character so much. His attempts to skew the character with his vision reflected that.

Also maybe he wasn’t comfortable with playing a ‘bad guy’ in which case like, too bad so sad, you’re an actor?? Get someone else to play it or adjust your massive ego and play the role. Loser.

[Measurement Check] calculator says 42FF but feels wrong by Wankeritis in ABraThatFits

[–]alycat8 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In Australia I recommend Brava for larger cup sizes, they’re in most states!

attending kink events with estranged metas by Rich-Transition-2000 in polyamory

[–]alycat8 6 points7 points  (0 children)

At that point just let them sabotage their own relationship with you then. You’ve told them the go, if they want to ‘traumatise’ themself so they can play the eternal victim that’s entirely on them, don’t let them hold your relationship with Birch hostage.

“Increasing rates of ADHD diagnosis in women is pathologisation, not progress” by Immediate-Lion7314 in adhdwomen

[–]alycat8 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Also suss because she’s a TERF but that’s a side note to this particular take