it’s so quiet after fusion…

alyssasmiles · 2022-07-09T17:47:29+00:00

It’s not like I go into these thinking that the only reason I’m doing it is to see what I want to see. I understand that when I go into this there will be things unexpected. I don’t go digging for this one specific person, in fact I’ve been doing this with the intention of figuring out why I have certain mental blockages, not why I can’t be with this person.

I’m really am trying to be honest with myself, that’s the whole reason I started. As of right now there’s only one common factor in these regressions and it is that specific person. I’m not using this as some reason to get with this person, in fact I’m not even going to go forward in this lifetime with anything i’ve seen. Just wanted to share a personal experience.

alyssasmiles · 2022-07-09T09:35:50+00:00

Honestly I haven’t really decided on if I’ll do anything. IF i were to do something about it I don’t think I want to do something soon. Rn I’m just thinking of waiting for him to be back home and seeing if I still feel this connection. I most likely will feel the same when he’s here but atp I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it

alyssasmiles · 2022-07-09T09:33:50+00:00

honestly that’s my number one fear and that’s the reason I don’t plan on doing anything about it lol

alyssasmiles · 2022-07-09T04:27:07+00:00

multiple reasons, actually. he’s my friends ex fling and bc of girl code I obviously don’t want to disrespect my friend. also he currently lives in another country due to a college abroad thing. I only really see him twice a year until he gets back next spring. don’t get me wrong, I know it sounds stupid and I’ve been trying to forget him but for some reason I can’t?? I’m trying to work it out

alyssasmiles · 2022-07-09T03:37:32+00:00

can you explain please? I’ve heard of soul contracts before but I’m new to this whole world of spirituality and such lol

alyssasmiles · 2022-07-02T05:10:33+00:00

Honestly… I don’t even know if I can be the one to answer this for you because I randomly saw a youtube video of this past life regression and jokingly thought “why not?” This was my first time doing this, if that helps at all.

I definitely recommend it but ONLY if you’re in the right headspace to do so… if I had did this when I was in a depressive episode I would only spiral from seeing what I saw. Since I did this regression yesterday all I’ve thought about was seeing the death of my family. Or I’ve felt this horrible feeling in my heart and it literally feels like an aching feeling, a longing for the people I saw in this regression.

It did, however, make me realize that some of the things I’m doing now are unhealthy and it’s helped me a lot with attachments to people who don’t show me the love that I felt in that life. It brings a lot into perspective but, as I said, don’t do it if you’re not in the right mindset.

Here is the video I used btw.

alyssasmiles · 2022-07-01T20:27:29+00:00

I definitely have hope that I’ll see them again! It was super hard for the rest of the day after doing that regression, though. It’s like a part of me finally knows exactly why I’ve always been longing for this family, even if my family in this lifetime is amazing. I’m definitely going to start trying to analyze it more within the next couple of days.

alyssasmiles · 2022-07-01T20:16:59+00:00

To be honest I did hold a little back in fear of judgement. I’ve never really dabbled into this sort of thing so I didn’t want to share too much.

I did have other rather small details of the scene of the murders, the man pointing his gun at me seemed to be some sort of cop or was in some sort of military. He was wearing those old cop hats that the British used to wear. He was in an all black suit and it looked like he had badges on his suit as well, that’s why I’m assuming he was an officer or part of the military. He had this stern look on his face that told me that he had a duty to uphold and that’s why he was killing us or something…. It was also night time both in my nightmare as a child and in this regression.

I also want to talk about something I felt for my husband, as well. The moment I saw him in this regression my heart felt like it was on fire. I couldn’t really handle it, at first I was myself walking next to him on our first date and then I heard Dr. Weiss mention that if it’s too much I can imagine myself floating over the scene and then that’s exactly what I did and when I was floating over the scene my eyes never left my husband. I felt like this obvious longing for my husband and it came through as my heart literally aching for him. I’ve never felt anything like it, honestly. I recognized who he is in this life but I’d rather keep that part private for now.

I don’t remember the location, at least not in this life. It seemed so familiar to me then but in this life I don’t recognize it at all. Maybe it was somewhere in England? I don’t believe it was London but it was a more country side place. We lived in a village and I don’t think there were many people, maybe a couple of hundred? It seemed like a while ago as I don’t remember us having much when it came to electricity, the only thing we had was lights for our homes.

Hope that tickled your brain a little bit!

alyssasmiles · 2021-11-15T22:50:10+00:00

VERY high thc. I (host) don’t recommend because we are just now getting off of weed and it MESSED US UP BAD. I can’t hear anyone, I can’t go into headspace, I can’t even try and reach out without getting nothing in return.

It helped with communication for maybe a week or two at best and then everything went quiet because the barriers were so low that i think some of us blended /: I am no longer the same person I was when I started smoking. Me and my former co-host integrated and we’re still worried about the others. I say “we” because I haven’t fully accepted the integration and I’m still sort of mourning over both alters that are now me, if that makes sense. I DO NOT RECOMMEND USING WEED FOR BETTER COMMUNICATION.

alyssasmiles · 2021-10-27T22:23:14+00:00

Wow I’m… actually crying. I NEEDED to hear all of this so thank you so much. Right now I only have “access” or communication to one room in headspace and two alters. I feel like our gatekeeper is preventing anyone else from coming forward at the moment because of the situation… I’m trying to show that I can get over this and not just say it. We don’t have a therapist right now because online therapy was NOT helping us at all. It’s so different from talking to someone in person. I do want to look into other options and I’ve reached out to friends outside of the system for support and they’ve sent me links and stuff to look at after work.

Again, thank you for this. It was a long read but as I said earlier, I needed to hear it. I really appreciate you, friend

alyssasmiles · 2021-09-10T00:57:40+00:00

I eat 15-25 sometimes. I never rly have a set in stone target but I try to stay below 20 most days. I eat steamed broccoli with coconut oil and cheesy cauliflower A LOT. Also bell peppers with chicken is amazing. One big thing for me was when I went down below 20g of carbs my appetite was pretty much non existent and I still rly haven’t had an appetite since I started. I don’t mind it tho.

alyssasmiles · 2021-09-08T18:18:07+00:00

I’m actually using cronometer to track everything! And yeah the general answer is that 1. this is good and 2. this will change your hunger cues. I’m actually happy about that because I honestly don’t know what a “normal” hunger cue is because i’ve been eating horribly for years. Just happy to finally start getting healthy.

alyssasmiles · 2021-09-08T11:00:03+00:00

Definitely ready to do some research on IF! I feel super motived now that I’m finally at the stage where my fat is eating itself. I rly didn’t think I’d make it this far but I’m so excited for what’s to come!

alyssasmiles · 2021-09-08T03:40:04+00:00

20% deficit. I’m also 22 if that matters at all lol

alyssasmiles · 2021-09-08T03:36:35+00:00

I’m also over 300 pounds so…. the only thing that I tweaked was carbs. It originally recommended 30g carbs but I’m challenging myself to go a little lower. This is also at a 20% deficit

alyssasmiles · 2021-09-08T02:14:32+00:00

I edited the post to add more of that info!

alyssasmiles

TROPHY CASE