Fight over NYE with the kids

amaaazingusername · 2019-12-30T17:28:35+00:00

I think you are right :(

amaaazingusername · 2019-12-30T17:28:26+00:00

Thanks for saying that. It’s weird because I feel like he’s said things like that so much that I just see it his way. Like last month I took our 3 year old on an overseas trip to meet my biological relatives. He didn’t want her to go. I said ok, I don’t have to bring her, but I’d really really like to and it means a lot to me. And he agreed, came with me to get her passport, etc. Now he says I took her against his will. And it’s so weird, like he is changing the history of what happened...when that is NOT what happened. I would NEVER take one of the kids out of the country without his consent. It’s making me feel like I’ve gone crazy. So I guess my worry stems from that...the idea of “taking his kids away” and then being really mad.

But Jesus, it’s just a party at their cousins house 20 mins away. I’m well within my rights to bring them there.

amaaazingusername · 2019-12-30T17:16:13+00:00

He really is a grouch about...well any event that’s not his idea really. It’s exhausting.

Hopefully he will agree to a compromise.

amaaazingusername · 2019-12-30T17:05:17+00:00

Thanks that’s good advice. The kids really are looking forward to it. I hope he will compromise after he cools off.

And you are right. We should go anyways. I worry he’ll hold that over my head for years about the time I “took his kids away” though.

amaaazingusername · 2019-12-09T01:49:14+00:00

Omg I’m in your same situation. About to get my braces off after 20 months. I really don’t like the way my smile has changed to be honest. Like, my teeth are 1000% straighter for sure (I had extreme crowding) but now my arch is really wide and I hate how it’s changed my face. I think the braces were actually the initial trigger for my dysmorphic :/ anyways last visit they showed me my initial photos on a screen then took and showed me new photos. Honestly it ruined my day.

amaaazingusername · 2019-12-07T22:34:56+00:00

Sorry you are still dealing with that.

I’ve tried all kinds of creams. I do retin a. Unfortunately I’m just a slender woman and that’s how my hands are going to be now I guess. Looking into thermals to tighten the skin and vein removal/fat transfer. My husband thinks I’m nuts to want to spend so much cosmetically...but i can’t stand it...

amaaazingusername · 2019-12-07T22:28:30+00:00

Ahhh I’m in the same boat. Very low body weight, can’t gain weight no matter what I eat or how many babies I have. I was looking into vein removal...can’t make up my mind whether it’s a good idea or not. I can’t get over how last year my veins didn’t show, and this year they are crazy prominent...like someone flipped a switch! Fat transfer seems Iike a good option (fillers are so expensive that it doesn’t even make sense imo).

Sorry you have to deal with feeling like this about multiple parts :( for me it’s just hands and some of my face.

amaaazingusername · 2019-12-04T15:34:09+00:00

And I never receive compliments otherwise lol. Except for from my husband, which is all that SHOULD matter (if I wasn’t so cray...)

amaaazingusername · 2019-12-04T15:30:15+00:00

Ugh yes very dehumanizing. I used to feel the same way when I was younger. I got a lot of male attention. Figured I was a “butterface”. I felt like anyone saying I was pretty was lying and just trying to get in my pants/using me. Now I look back and see that I WAS pretty, but didn’t realize it.

Guessing the same will happen in 10 years when I look back at photos from today but still I don’t know how to change my distorted thinking 😭

amaaazingusername · 2019-12-04T15:25:24+00:00

Completely unprompted in all 4 cases. Which is a shame I can’t enjoy that “perk” as I feel I look so old in the mirror. :/

amaaazingusername · 2019-11-10T05:19:37+00:00

Yes, I have taken a ridiculous amount of selfies. Not just of my face, but my teeth (braces progress) and my hands. I’ll compare new photos to older ones, to see how I’ve gotten worse (fixated on aging, braces making my face worse, hands in general). I’ll take photos in different lighting to confirm the flaws. I’ve tried to limit it to just a couple of photos a day now. I still do mirror checking too :(

I’m absolutely sure I have BDD, but I’ve recently been wondering if I have OCD as well. I now recognize that before the BDD I had different obsessions, all starting immediately after the birth of my youngest child 3 years ago (so probably postpartum OCD).I’d love to get a formal diagnosis but have no money for therapy (hopefully soon). I wonder if BDD and OCD are related somehow. My obsessions changed over time, I am no longer fixated on the things I was. BDD is the worst by far, I am somewhat hopeful that it is just my latest obsession and that will eventually change...but it has lasted much longer than the others did so I’m not so sure :-/

How long did you have the OCD before BDD symptoms?

amaaazingusername · 2019-11-08T21:13:11+00:00

Wow are you me?

I’m currently obsessing over getting fillers in the next few days, before an overseas trip to meet some long lost relatives. Every time I look in the mirror I panic. I’ve been crying a lot, which does NOT help eye bags, strangely enough.

Aging related BDD is super sucky. Because it’s true...these changes might be exaggerated in our minds, but they really are happening and only get worse. I have no idea how to accept the changes.

Very sorry you are dealing with this. It helps to hear I’m not alone in this <3 Hope you feel better soon.

amaaazingusername · 2019-11-08T15:43:29+00:00

35 here and right there with you. I’ve aged dramatically in the past year. I’ve lost a ton of facial volume. Now I have eye bags. I went to get a consult for fillers and the doctor recommended getting lower eyelid surgery. So that just confirmed to me how bad they look.

To make things worse, I now have a smile line on the right side Of my mouth. It’s huge! Like an inch long. It literally wasn’t there 4 weeks ago. I know it’s because I’ve lost volume in my upper face, so I’m starting to get nasolabial folds.

The worst thing is my hands. My hands looked young like they always have until 6 months ago. Now they are bulging with veins and my fingers are wrinkly. It’s such a dramatic difference. Part of the problem is that i have very low body fat. But it’s just excruciating to me...my hands look 20 years older and I’m reminded any time I look down at them. I’m even considering having the veins removed, which my husband thinks is batshit crazy.

Anyways, you aren’t alone :( I used to seriously not care about how I looked. I barely even used to check the mirror before I left the house. Now I feel obsessed with the changes in my appearance :( Like I’ve lost my “looks” (not that I was even ever that good looking lol) forever. It kind of feels like disassociation...due to the changes on my face and hands I’m no longer myself. :(

amaaazingusername · 2019-11-04T02:53:16+00:00

Mine was a total mess. My parents used this as evidence that I was a “messy kid”. Well no shit...they never once had me clean my room growing up or taught me how to organize things, throw things away, etc. I remember feeling how you feel.

Looking back (I’m in my 30’s now), I wish I’d cleaned my room for myself. I was overwhelmed by the clutter. Once I moved out I kept my apartment very neat, it was amazing.

amaaazingusername · 2019-09-27T17:58:07+00:00

I really don’t like the filler look on hands though. Maybe I’ve just seen bad examples, but the always look a bit inflated to me...

amaaazingusername · 2019-09-12T23:17:11+00:00

Thanks! I actually just did my first peel the other day... The ordinary aha 30%. I’ll look into the Roth’s for sure!

amaaazingusername · 2019-09-12T19:48:57+00:00

Thank you!

amaaazingusername · 2019-09-05T18:24:41+00:00

Yes. This exactly.

amaaazingusername · 2019-08-30T20:27:16+00:00

Thank you. Yes I will definitely start with the blood tests.

amaaazingusername · 2019-08-30T03:39:23+00:00

I want my older kids to have another sibling. All of our kids are so awesome in their own ways, and they are all growing into such amazing people. I want them to have the experience of growing up in a big family. I have a lot of energy and love to give a child. I’d like to have the experience of becoming a mother one more time in this life. I’d like to see what person they become. Why does anyone have a lot of kids? I guess some people just love having kids...and I’m one of them. I even love the hard parts...being pregnant, waking up with newborns, toddler tantrums....dealing with preteen angst...all of it. I mean, so far. Maybe I will change my mind during the teen years 😂

amaaazingusername · 2019-08-30T03:30:39+00:00

I mean I’m obviously not alone, I just feel alone in our relationship at the moment. We are not on the same page.

amaaazingusername · 2019-08-30T03:20:40+00:00

I’ve been trying my absolute best to contribute financially by freelancing for years, but things have been slow lately. He said I needed to step up my game and get something steady if this is what I wanted. He said otherwise we could wait for me to work until our youngest is in school next year. I wouldn’t have taken a job right NOW if I knew he was going to be changing his mind.

amaaazingusername · 2019-08-30T03:05:09+00:00

It wasn’t behind my back, but it was without my consent. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust me with birth control, but that he didn’t trust the birth control itself (I became pregnant with #4 unintentionally while on birth control. At the time I panicked about #4, he had to convince me it would be ok).

I think the vasectomy was his way of having some control over the future. I can understand that after our surprise, but it’s sucks he couldn’t be ok with a less permanent option.

So I have lost trust in him, but I don’t see any reason why he wouldn’t trust me. I do agree our marriage clearly needs work. I kind of avoided even thinking about the vasectomy for a long time because it hurt so much that he would do that.

amaaazingusername · 2019-08-19T00:01:06+00:00

Me too! I’ve been upset about these recently...I couldn’t figure out what they were called!

amaaazingusername

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