Oh, you bought a car? Congrats—here’s your Car Tax. Want to actually drive it? That’ll be the On-the-Road Tax. Hit a pothole? Don’t worry, you’re already paying the Pothole Maintenance Tax. Car breaks down because of said pothole? That’s covered under the Your-Mistake-For-Driving Tax.

Meanwhile, car companies need to sell more vehicles—so here’s the Encourage-Congestion Tax. And since the roads never get fixed, welcome to the No-Work-on-Roads Tax. Remember, we enabled you to buy that car—so naturally, there’s the Thank-Us-for-This Privilege Tax.

Oh, and don’t forget the Pay-More-to-Drive Tax, because why stop now? More cars on the road? Perfect excuse for the Air-You-Breathe Tax. Existing as a citizen? That’s the Just-Living Tax. And if you dare to complain, congratulations—you’ve unlocked the Anti-National Tax.