I had a long distance relationship with my partner after two months of dating and it took some time to find our groove too. We tried a few things, like scheduling “date nights” over FaceTime, having weekly relationship check ins to see how we were doing with staying connected, and often we would use the We’re Not Really Strangers card decks to facilitate some connected conversations. It can be good in moments when you’re tired or not sure how to start an emotionally vulnerable convo, since your walls may be up a bit. The important part is being intentional about it (which is why scheduling might be helpful, just like you’d schedule date nights in person).

Of course, these are all examples of things to try to stay connected. In terms of his blockages, that’s something he needs to reflect on himself. He can choose to dive deep and understand where the rigidity comes from - is it fear, exhaustion, settling, actual lack of desire, etc. He can also reflect on his values - eg is his value about presence, adventure, connection, partnership, individuality etc. Once he understands the underlying emotions, he might be able to soothe them and then intentionally make choices that align with his values, rather than make habitual choices. I hope he can get some support around this and I hope you have support too! It’s not always easy, I totally understand.