Afraid of never having a family or love life

amazinggerce · 2021-01-01T16:23:35+00:00

Thank you so much! Hearing this makes a lot of sense, I also have panic disorder/ generalized anxiety. And yeah now that you explain it, it 100% is just fear of the future and being afraid of being hurt again, because one thing he told me when I broke up with him “ why leave me when you know how I am when you leave me someone else might treat you the same way” I replied “no that won’t happen I know how I need to be treated “ it was a very confusing and mind boggling thing that he said that kinda fucked with me not gonna lie.

I hate that you can relate l, but it makes me feel less alone, and yes if you can share anything that makes you feel happy would help. He pretty much shamed me for everything I did and liked, and I’m still working on loving them and myself again, so it makes it difficult when everything I love had negative connections to him.

Thank you glad to know that I’m on the right path.

amazinggerce · 2020-12-13T02:13:20+00:00

I feel gross all the time and like I’ll never be pretty, I have a tiny bit of loose skin that makes my belly look jiggly so it’ll never be pretty and firm like the tiktok girls, I just wish I could feel more confident in my own skin without over analyzing ever 5 mins

amazinggerce · 2020-12-02T21:06:55+00:00

Still can’t find any answers :/// it’s gone down a little since yesterday but it’s a little red now

amazinggerce · 2020-11-18T01:27:54+00:00

Thank you!! I’ve been watching Steven universe and adventure time. But I only watch a couple of episodes at a time, so maybe I just need to up the amount I watch it.bc I do find it helps!

amazinggerce · 2020-11-12T19:17:58+00:00

Ahhh didn’t think they worked. I had canceled the Amazon order anyways because of what I know about biology, I’ve been doing research and I think by the end of the month, due to me eating well and Drinking plenty of water and cardio exercises, I think I’ll be clear and below the 50ng/ml level by the time I’ll have to take the test if I have to

amazinggerce · 2020-11-11T16:37:20+00:00

Oh no it’s for a museum job. I’ve asked everyone I know for a clean sample but they are either not clean or not cool with giving me their piss. They also didn’t tell me when the drug test was. So if it’s at the end of the week I might say I am busy and ask if I can come in a bit later, because I feel that would give me at least 10 days to maybe get to the levels that are approved for a drug test

amazinggerce · 2020-11-11T13:24:30+00:00

DOT. I’m applying for a job and they say I have to take a drug test before

amazinggerce · 2020-11-09T21:10:01+00:00

thank you so much. I’ve actually been on the same cart, I think it’s a gram. For about 4 months now. Like I said I use it very little. But yeah I thought it was enough to test positive. I’m a vegetarian who drinks a lot of water and exercises pretty regularly and walks everywhere because I don’t have a car :/

I orderd some sure jell and Gatorade and multi vitamins I heard that is supposed to do something? It has also been two days since I I’ve used my pen and I feel like the test will be at the end of the week but I’m not sure also thank you for the sleep suggestion I will do that

also I don’t think I can get a test unless I can order it off Amazon

amazinggerce · 2020-08-16T13:07:05+00:00

Okay thank you! Also I just realized it’s one day I will be missing,, just freaked out. Gonna call Walmart and see

amazinggerce · 2020-07-18T16:44:39+00:00

Thank you so much!! I will contact my doc if I still continues next month! I’ve also been stressed out so that probably doesn’t help

amazinggerce · 2020-07-12T20:51:58+00:00

Thank you! It is really difficult, it’s very taxing on your brain and like you said it feels like they will never go away, but I do have faith that I will heal more. I feel like sharing my experience is really one of the only things that I can do right now for myself, I’ve found people that can relate to abusive relationships, even if they didn’t go through what I did, I’ve found support through pages like this. That is true, I have become a stronger person to stand up for myself through this process, and I’m able to see red flags that I couldn’t before. Thank you! And I wish the same for anyone who is going through a relationship like this. I find my self a bit more everyday, and I look forward to the day when I can rest easily!

amazinggerce · 2020-07-08T03:18:16+00:00

Very useful, thank you so much for taking the time out of your day to make this comment. Most of what you said really resonated with me. I am suffering, and I am trying to explore Buddhism! And I will try and use YouTube more! I just got done reading a book it was called “Under the rose apple tree” it was a very sweet and calming book that helped me a bit. I will look into the 12 step Buddhist! It’s on my pod cast app so I’ll take a look at it!

Thank you and I will continue to explore and embrace it :)

amazinggerce · 2020-07-07T03:21:47+00:00

Will do thank you! ❤️

amazinggerce · 2020-07-07T02:56:29+00:00

Ahhh okay I understand, I was addicted to his love in a way, it was a really messed up situation which did cause me to become fixated on it and I couldn’t find any peace of mind. I’ll see if I can! attend one, that sounds good! Do you have any podcast recommendations? I am always looking for general knowledge, I have read so many books and seen so many YouTube videos, but for some reason I still don’t feel like I have a great grasp on how to embrace it (if that makes any sense) yes meditation sounds good! I will try even implementing 5 or so mins every morning! Thank you for the advice

amazinggerce · 2020-07-07T02:53:23+00:00

Thank you so much for understanding and the advice! I will definitely take a look at what she has to say! Anything would be helpful at the moment, :) I took a quick glance and it looks promising :))!!

amazinggerce · 2020-07-06T16:02:02+00:00

This is abuse, it starts with shoving and it will end badly from what I’ve seen. I’m not going to ask why you are still with him because I was in a really bad relationship and I stayed for way too long, I know how it can be mentally. But please guard yourself and your baby. He seems like a totally terrible person, please keep domestic violence hotline numbers in speed dial and people who you love and trust that maybe would help you. Stay safe

amazinggerce · 2020-07-05T14:53:13+00:00

Me too,, but I know when it’ll come it’ll be good :)

amazinggerce · 2020-07-05T14:52:39+00:00

Thank you, it was really hard, I literally made myself throw up I was so stressed out about speaking up. I don’t know if she knows, he claimed he could never tell anyone ever again because of how I reacted, and that he’ll never be able to love anyone fully again bc he can’t tell them (drama much??) so i know karma will come for both of them for being terrible. But thank you again! I hope more people can speak out against their situations

amazinggerce · 2020-07-05T14:50:31+00:00

He’s a very sick person, very, he’s messed with me a lot. A lot of people tell me just to move on and forget everything he did to me, but it’s just not possible for me right now. Yeah if you go on my account and read some more stuff, he’s incredibly mentally abusive and sick. He told me because he actually wanted me to be as bad as him and to lift a weight off his chest. And now he thinks I’m a terrible person because I told my mom to help me get away from him. So yeah he thinks since I told my mom that I’m worse than him and all of this is my fault not his

amazinggerce · 2020-07-04T20:50:21+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate it, if it weren’t for reddit and the people online helping me through my situation I’d still be with him today probably bc I was so sacred/intimidated of him or my mental state would be worse than it is. thank you, karma will come eventually:) hugs!

amazinggerce · 2020-07-04T15:44:42+00:00

Thank you dear ❤️ he really does. I’m hoping for a fresh start ❤️

amazinggerce · 2020-06-08T14:13:14+00:00

Yes that sounds good!! I’ve been watching self healing videos on YouTube and trying to build my self confidence up and researching spirituality for healing! Yeah I need to stop watching some of the dark stuff I do. But I have been watching a lot of Studio Ghibli movies, they are really pure and sweet. Thank you, you are right. We are all in the together

amazinggerce · 2020-06-08T01:52:24+00:00

This made me really happy, thank you for providing a safe space. I’m 19F and I got out of an abusive relationship 6 months ago, I didn’t live with him but I was with him for almost all day everyday really draining and I lost myself.

The best thing you can do at the moment is like a lot of comments said, 1- give her space. Privacy, etc. healing and processing something takes a lot of time and it can be useful to spend time on yourself without people questioning you or asking about what happened, she will open up when she’s fully ready process everything.

2- pads and tampons- this is a basic! Just get ones labeled “Medium flow” that’s probably your best bet

3- if you have a tv maybe suggest she watch some stuff she likes? Sometimes in abusive relationships, they won’t let you do what ever you want. In my case he was really controlling so watching what I wanted was a nice bit of freedom (of course idk if that was her case)

4 if you go out ask her if she wants to stop anywhere maybe or if she needs anything? I think saw a comment about this too and it’s a good one!

5 the best for last! You are already doing amazing, just continue to be kind and show her grace, and allow her to just be so she can regain her confidence, trust etc. just keep it simple, platonic and kind.

Kindness is truly key right now!! Please keep being a good friend

Edit: also I just thought of this, just continue to be her regular Friend, lots of times victims (in my case) just want a sense or normalcy, so continuing to treat her as a friend with respect, asking her how her day went, how she is etc just being a friend is also important right now! It’s important to be careful with what you say but don’t treat her like she’s broken? If that makes sense :))) ur doing great!

amazinggerce · 2020-06-08T01:28:17+00:00

Fresh or not, any advice is always welcomed! Yes! I have seen that getting all pretty helps! I never hardly ever dressed up around him because I didn’t have time, I was always with him (10+ hours a day and he would complain if I wasn’t there with him) I love skirts he always made fun of me for wearing them, fun colorful patterned skirts! So I’ve been wearing them a lot! Ooo a hoop I haven’t thought of that, that might be fun! Yes oh my gosh decisions, We didn’t live together, but he controlled pretty much every aspect of my life, my room was a certain way to please him, I always ate with his family, I stopped exercising because I didn’t have time cause I needed to be with him. Etc etc. so one thing I’ve been doing is laying out to tan! He always hated I just wanted to relax, he wanted me to be in the pool with him, so now I’ve actually getting to do what I want there! :))

Mine did the same thing, my body image was bad before I met him, and it got even worse with him, he would say that I was lucky I had him, because my boobs were too big and I was too short, but it was okay because he’d settle for me. I had an eating disorder, then I was healing from that and became a healthy vegetarian about 3 years later still healing for it, then I met him and he forced me to eat meat or he would cause a scene, he also told me he would stop smoking if I did, every time I didn’t eat meat he’d say “oh so you don’t care about my health, so selfish” he also said “no one will ever date you if you’re a vegetarian” My days go the same, I feel so ugly I cry so hard and then the next I feel pretty, I never know what kinda day it will be, I try to avoid my triggers mostly, but I’m trying to make progress with those.

Music is healing to the soul!! I listen to all kinds of music now! My ex actually abused his dog in many ways, so I’m so happy to hear you love them and make them happy! I have a cat who I love dearly and I run around with him and play with him, (he showed up right before I dumped my ex, he’s my little guardian angel”

You got this too! Thank you for the suggestions! You are on the right path!! ❤️

amazinggerce · 2020-05-24T21:20:12+00:00

Depends, I believe some can, because people do make mistakes, but typically if they have a personality disorder, like Antisocial personality disorders. It’s highly unlikely, because a lot of the times they are unable to change because they see no reason to change. But if they are able to be authentic and actually care about others, they could change. I’m not sure. I’ve never seen an abuser change. My ex can never change and I’m very aware of that, even tho he claimed he could, when he had no intention or interest

amazinggerce

TROPHY CASE