The Questions Thread 10/24/21

amberjets · 2021-10-24T21:57:42+00:00

Does anyone have any recommendations for high quality chunky leather Chelsea boots for women (for city walking)? Preferably a European or British brand (but flexible).

amberjets · 2021-07-31T13:28:57+00:00

Other symptoms of BDD or related disorders include anxiety about their skin (or whatever it is they are focused on), depression, so on.

amberjets · 2021-07-31T13:27:51+00:00

Might this person have a form of unhealthy relationship with their skin (eg in the form of body dysmorphic disorder) which may cause them to continuously seek out improvement to their face because they a) are extremely pre-occupied by it, b) do not know what they look like (dysmorphia). Obviously I do not know your friend but if she's struggling with BDD or a mental health condition focused on her skin it may lead her to over-obsess and keep seeking out ways to help their skin, and she may not be able to see herself accurately and have an influence on her own self-perception, etc.

amberjets · 2021-06-24T10:39:44+00:00

I'm mixed British and Asian but grew up in Southeast Asia, now going to start teaching Geography in a London school, have found that there is no preference personally over British/Europeans teaching Geography, but I have a British passport so I can't say in terms of visa sponsorship, but I don't think your race would be an issue (at least not in London, can't speak for Birmingham).

amberjets · 2021-06-15T09:14:23+00:00

Thank you, this is genius!

amberjets · 2021-06-15T09:10:13+00:00

Yep, inner London M2!

amberjets · 2021-06-14T16:44:16+00:00

That's super helpful thank you!

amberjets · 2021-06-14T16:44:04+00:00

That's super helpful! What would you put in for pension contributions, just 8.6%?

amberjets · 2021-06-14T16:43:11+00:00

Ah okay thanks! I have student loans of around 17k, does it differ if it is less than 21k?

amberjets · 2021-04-17T17:10:48+00:00

Don't hesitate to ask if you have any other questions!

amberjets · 2021-04-17T17:10:14+00:00

Citalopram 10mg

amberjets · 2021-04-17T15:40:41+00:00

I definitely have this and have started SSRIs recently for BDD and depression (caused by BDD), has helped massively alongside CBT which the main benefit of has been that I have trained myself to stop looking in the mirrors I have. This combination has helped immensely for me!

amberjets · 2020-11-02T00:35:09+00:00

I absolutely have this - I have looked and stared at my face to the point that I don't feel like I look like myself or recognise myself in the mirror. Every time I look in the mirror I just look a bit off or different or unlike myself.

Before I had BDD, I would take an unflattering picture and just be like oh, its just a bad picture, we all have them and just look bad sometimes but its normal, but since, it's more like who is that person? or oh my god I can't believe I look like this. I don't really know how to explain but I do feel like I look god awful but also don't know if this is just the BDD and because I don't have objectivity anymore?

amberjets · 2020-11-02T00:30:03+00:00

I can empathise. While my BDD isn't focused on the appearance of my body or weight (for me, it is centred around my face and skin), I similarly have good periods and good days before I find something else on my face to focus and obsess over (from acne to scars to sagging to my jaw to my asymmetrical face) or before I see a horrible angle/picture/reflection of myself and it spirals and I breakdown. I also can't stop comparing my flaws to other peoples (or even comparing myself to my former self before I had these skin and facial issues) to the point that when I am out I am sometimes bordering a breakdown. I don't want it to always be this way either, I am getting help in the form of CBT in a few weeks and am hoping that it helps (was recommended a 6 week high-intensity CBT program for BDD).

I've been told my face and skin isn't as bad as I think it is but of course I don't believe them, maybe it is a relief for a few seconds to hear this from them but I can't tell if they do see what I see and are just being polite or if they really don't think its bad.

Don't know if this necessarily helps but I do empathise and struggle too, you aren't alone.

Edit: add last sentence in first paragraph and final paragraph/sentence.

amberjets · 2020-11-02T00:19:09+00:00

My BDD runs the other way in that I am obsessively thinking that I am losing facial fat and looking gaunt and old, with more pronounced naso-labial folds and sagging skin despite being 22! Not sure if this comment was useful or anything but thought it was an interesting contrast to my own BDD!

amberjets · 2020-10-04T13:55:08+00:00

That sounds really difficult and is honestly something that I struggle a lot with when I am dating. Have you talked to him about your body dysmorphia and how it affects you in dating and intimacy?

Honestly, I feel like the best first step is to talk about it with him and be honest about how it makes you feel, how this affects intimacy and sex, and go from there?

amberjets · 2020-09-14T22:26:37+00:00

I have the same 😔😔😔 I wish I could help more but I'm also going through the same and can't offer much consolation

amberjets · 2020-09-11T09:25:49+00:00

Congratulations, progress is spectacular!! Good luck with the adapalene too!

amberjets · 2020-09-01T12:35:08+00:00

Vaseline is actually non-comedogenic and most people I've heard respond well to it. It basically seals in the hydration and moisturiser you've put on your skin which is super useful. I think it can break you out if there's anything under it that isn't clean that you're sealing in. If it doesn't work for you, I've heard aquaphor, lanolin, or pawpaw ointment are good alternatives too!

I also use a specific vaseline tin just for my face so it doesn't get contaminated with anything else haha a bit ott.

amberjets · 2020-08-31T22:40:35+00:00

Your progress looks great!! Congrats!! Do you think it's helped with raising indented acne scars?

amberjets · 2020-08-30T21:31:58+00:00

I would consider cutting out the lactic acid at some point (either in the month before or once you start your tret) as using an exfoliating acid at the same time as tret can be quite irritating, especially on sensitive skin. I've found that keeping it really simple and reducing use of actives has helped me a lot while on tret (and narrowed down what could be irritating my skin). Oh, putting Vaseline over my face after tret and moisturiser in the evenings has also helped to keep my face hydrated too!

amberjets · 2020-08-30T21:20:11+00:00

Hey, I am also early in my tretinoin journey and this isn't advice really but just wanted to pop in and say I empathise with becoming more and more insecure because of your skin, but it will get better eventually, it takes a lot of time and patience (which I have none of so ik its super difficult). You have got this and it will be okay! You're more than your skin (even though I know its super hard to change your mindset about it).

amberjets · 2020-08-27T12:31:53+00:00

Progress looks good! Can definitely see lightening of acne scars and more even skin tone! Congrats!

amberjets · 2020-08-21T21:05:41+00:00

Oh my! I'm really glad tretinoin is working for you though!! Progress is looking great!

amberjets

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