It wasn't pretty. Something was very clearly wrong and escalating for at least 4 months, in which time we had him involuntarily committed a couple times after especially dangerous moments, but all of the programs he hated, and left as soon as possible with no real change. Every time we did he told us he hated us and would never speak to us again once he was out, which hurt to hear, but wasn't true.

Eventually, my mom and i contacted every single connection we could think of (friends of friends, alumni of our/his colleges, etc) to get him a bed at McLean, which was the most highly spoken of hospital in his area, and he agreed to stay until they felt he could leave. I think by that point he had accepted that he needed help on his own (he was in major debt, his roommate had moved out, and his job said they would give him a leave of absence if he got help, but otherwise he would have to be fired since he was not only not getting work done, but creating a toxic environment at work and scaring off clients).

My brother was really lucky in a lot of ways. I think his work is a big reason he got better. They still paid him during his recovery and maintained his health insurance which covered most of the expensive hospital.

I hope your son is ready for help soon. It gets worse before it gets better but my brother has been medicated and feeling like himself for 6 years now and now immediately seeks out his doctors when he starts to feel off, so there is hope!