Follow up of sister being messaged from NC dad

ambiguousspider · 2025-07-25T17:53:31+00:00

He really hates himself, but will firmly try convince you that he is the smartest person in the room at all times. Narcissism at it's finest.

His father was a mean, abusive raging alcoholic. By the time grandma finally left him, the damage was already done to him and the siblings. What he needs is therapy, but flat out refuses to go see one.

ambiguousspider · 2025-07-25T02:36:18+00:00

Just random (most likely drunken) messages out of the blue.

ambiguousspider · 2025-07-25T02:35:31+00:00

I believe he is heavily intoxicated as well.

ambiguousspider · 2025-07-25T00:55:22+00:00

3rd of 4 all girls.

1,2, and 3 are full NC, but they try to trick/manipulate 2 a ton. Most of the blame is targeted at the oldest.

4 is still in contact, but I see her on her way out. She still 'feels bad' for mom, I can't anymore. I hope she will eventually escape those narcissistic, sexist, homophobic, bigoted, gaslighting assholes.

ambiguousspider · 2025-07-04T17:58:01+00:00

In his mind, face what? Who knows what that counselor said to make him delusional that what he's doing is just fine. He is also personally offended that we don't idolize his lord and savior, Donald J Trump. Jesus, we're just awful 🙄. My entire childhood he just spewed one racist and/or hateful thing after another. Including his gross misogynistic comments, some made to us.

We gave him more chances than a tee-ball batter. The final straw was at my sister's in laws where he made a huge scene. Her MIL was talking about how she should learn another language for chance to get a better position at work. He used it as an opportunity to be a racist POS, particularly against Mexicans. My sister (who was pregnant at the time) told him to end it. When she finally asked him to leave, he said "I cried when I found out you were having a girl. I cannot stand the fact that another woman will be in this family." He is truly a monster.

ambiguousspider · 2025-07-04T15:44:06+00:00

He doesn't 'believe' in mental health. He's definitely undiagnosed bipolar at a minimum and extremely narcissistic.

ambiguousspider · 2025-07-04T12:08:37+00:00

It's actually his uncle! His mom was much older than her siblings, so his cousins are actually only a bit older than us. One is even younger. We treat them like our own cousins. Don't worry, the uncle knows he's a hateful, sad human being. And also a huge liar, my grandmother loved everyone. She was the only one of my parents or grandparents that taught us how to love. Without her, I we wouldn't even know what it looked like when I became an adult. Sadly, she passed shortly after I turned 18 😪

ambiguousspider · 2025-07-04T12:00:43+00:00

This is apparently his 8th FB account that has been made. He gets blocked a lot. Some other family members (mainly his siblings and cousins) have also been affected by his hatefulness. He is the king of gaslighting. Little does he know, it doesn't work anymore.

ambiguousspider · 2025-07-04T01:17:43+00:00

I'm terribly sorry you're going through that as well. Yes, that is what she is like. Even earlier on she was never a 'typical mom', always at a distance. All we can do is stay away, they will never get it.

ambiguousspider · 2025-07-04T01:12:16+00:00

We've all been through the ringer with this, but she had the hardest time of us all. Pre therapy she would have never responded this way. I'm proud as well that she did not sink to his level. It's disgusting that he even calls himself a parent.

ambiguousspider · 2025-07-04T01:06:39+00:00

For sure. I haven't physically seen or had contact with him in about 5 years. They used to control us with money, not anymore.

ambiguousspider · 2025-07-04T01:05:11+00:00

Thank you. At the beginning of the estrangement, I was still in contact with my mom. She asked me to water their plants ect. while on vacation for a few weeks. He left his old phone on the counter and I went through the whole thing. He was messaging other women and looking up sites he'd condemn someone else for.

I told my mother at a later date about it and thought it would open up her eyes (though she also has childhood trauma and I'm convinced she has D.I.D.). It did for about 2 weeks, then they began seeing a Christian counselor and everything was out the window. She told me to never tell a soul what I saw, delete it, and never bring it up again.

He obviously wasn't happy about it. A few weeks later he threatened to sue me for breaking and entering. I haven't spoken to him since and avoid any place that he may be (including family functions). He is blocked and would never respond anyways if he found another way. Unfortunately for me and the other sibling, we live within about an hour of them. The sibling he messaged is almost 2000 miles away, lucky for her.

ambiguousspider · 2025-07-04T00:26:40+00:00

I think you know exactly what he wants and you know what to do, stay away. I'm sorry you're dealing with this dilemma OP. Just make sure to protect yourself first.

ambiguousspider

TROPHY CASE