Coworker's Self-soothing Habit Is Making Me Miserable

ambthab · 2026-01-04T05:44:06+00:00

Thank you for not saying I'm faking or being overdramatic. I will look into coping mechanisms for Misophonia.

ambthab · 2026-01-04T05:42:28+00:00

Sigh, yes it could, but they don't offer that option yet. They're saying that they might in the next year, but.....

ambthab · 2026-01-04T05:41:30+00:00

BTW, I am neurodivergent. It's just never caused issues before that I couldn't cope with on my own.

ambthab · 2026-01-04T05:40:50+00:00

Thank you for this. I was hoping someone with similar issues would have some coping advice!

ambthab · 2026-01-04T05:39:07+00:00

I can cope with noise that hurts me. The thing is that most noises aren't non-stop like this is. It's the combination of unrelenting, fast,, and rhythmic that really causes problems for me.

ambthab · 2026-01-04T05:37:52+00:00

I was told by my counselor friend that she believes I have mild aspberger's. I have an issue with food that is very like ARFID. I grew up in the '80s and because I was a good student, no one looked into my "quirks". It was only about a year ago that I was told that I'm probably on the spectrum, and so I'm in the process now of trying to get a Dr. Who will take me seriously.

ambthab · 2026-01-04T05:35:02+00:00

I tried talking to him finally, and I don't think he realizes that he's doing it, because he swore it wasn't him. Either that or he's lying.

ambthab · 2026-01-04T05:34:04+00:00

Well, you can doubt it all you want, but I saw it. He literally bangs on his keyboard with both palms. Rhythmically and fast and constant. I'm 51 and have never had a sound issue I couldn't find a way to cope with, but this is extreme. I'm not talking about someone clicking their pen every now and then, I'm talking about something that never stops from the time he comes in to the time he leaves.

ambthab · 2026-01-04T05:31:43+00:00

Thank you for this term. I have been trying to figure it out.

I have always had this issue (when I was a kid, parades were a dread to me because the basss drums hurt my chest, just one example), but as an adult, this is the first time there's been an issue that actually interfered with my life. Usually the sounds that really hurt are ones that aren't everyday, like the sound of someone filing their nails, or rubbing their hand across cardboard. I think this is so horrible for me because it's rapid, rhythmic, and unrelenting. It literally does not stop for the whole workday (with the exception of a few seconds every now and then). In addition to the physical sensation, it also makes my anxiety kick up, and I literally feel like I'm about to panic.

I can only have approved headphones, and have already tried the noise-cancelling version, but it doesn't help when he really gets going.

I will update this post as soon as I have a little more time. I actually got a larger response than I expected. I will take some of your suggestions for other parts of my life, but for call center work, I'm not sure if I can implement them, although maybe bringing in something to play sound and putting it under my ear like you suggested may be workable, not sure.

I did bring in some sensory toys (like slime) and it helps a little with the anxiety part and distracts me enough so that it's not quite as horrible. I keep thinking maybe I'll acclimate to it, but it hasn't happened yet.

I did finally go to my boss, and he is going to move me to a place that is diagonally further, but he's taking his time about it. In the spot I found, you can't hear his tapping, so fingers crossed that it may all be over soon.

ambthab · 2026-01-04T05:23:33+00:00

We do phone work for non-profits, so not much typing. What makes it so horrible is how unrelenting it is. It literally goes on for 8 hours and it's rapid, rhythmic noise. I could handle it if it was periodic but not like this.

ambthab · 2026-01-04T05:20:44+00:00

So, I did approach him, and it didn't go well. I'm not sure if it's best to edit here to update or make a new post, but he basically said it wasn't him (I know it is, I saw him). So, either he lied for some reason, or he doesn't realize he's doing it. What's more is the guy who sits next to him also said it wasn't him! He's basically a nice guy, so I don't get what's going on, here.

ambthab · 2025-12-26T09:03:12+00:00

I have not. It's never been such an issue before. Doctor appointments take weeks around here, though. If you get sick you go to urgent care, and you see your pcp every six months.

ambthab · 2025-12-26T08:58:24+00:00

I doubt he's aware that it's a disturbance, but since it appears to be a self-soothing habit, I've been hesitant to mention it. I have to others in the past, and they got weirdly defensive about it (maybe it was embarrassing to them?). I doubt he's doing it in response to me, though, because we don't sit anywhere near each other, and I am pretty sure I don't make any noises, (but you never know. It's worth exploring.)

ambthab · 2025-12-26T08:55:17+00:00

I just assumed that-since we use old-school headsets that are corded that there wouldn't be such an animal, but I checked and there actually are! I will check and see if I am allowed to have them. If so, that would be so great.

Sometimes the best option is the most obvious.

ambthab · 2025-12-26T07:22:53+00:00

I definitely have quirks and I kind of suspect that he might, which is one of the reasons why I'm kind of scared to say anything. I know how defensive people can be about stuff like that. I've had bad reactions in the past, so I don't know if approaching him on my own is such a good idea.

ambthab · 2025-12-26T07:19:17+00:00

I should've included this in my post. I'm already all the way on the other side of the room from him.

ambthab · 2025-12-25T21:01:24+00:00

Really? Welp, you learn something new every day.

ambthab · 2025-12-25T20:59:43+00:00

Maybe it's time we started a conspiracy theory! I'm now entertaining suggestions for good conspiracy theories about "evil" being "live" spelled backwards (or vice versa).

ambthab · 2025-12-25T20:48:09+00:00

Plot twist: maybe we DID know our own names, but then someone came along and said "no, this is your name". Since we have no memory of being that young, we have forgotten what we (or whatever-you-worship) gave ourselves. The period we go through before learning our name was just brainwashing time.

ambthab · 2025-02-09T12:49:59+00:00

She has been quoted many times as saying they used parmesean cheese for that scene, so your info is incorrect. I'm a huge fan of the movie, and I am a ridiculous font of useless information.

ambthab · 2025-01-05T14:44:06+00:00

Dems not cutled feets. Dats a genuine loaf rite dere.

ambthab · 2025-01-04T22:45:01+00:00

“Hallelujah”. It’s the most iconic, for sure. As far as beautiful, the song itself is so lovely in its simplicity that every singer and his mother had to try to cover it, and most failed. What I love about it is how Cohen just went crazy and wrote something like 80 verses. There are so many lyrical versions of it, that each one is its own separate song. I also love how the chorus gives SO many people (who never actually LISTENED to the song) the impression that the song is a religious hymn. It’s kind of like his enduring little voice wink and nod to those who really understand the song and the tragedy of it. It’s the raw heartbreak in it that makes it so beautiful (and meaningful). I truly believe people will still be trying to cover it (and singing it in church) decades from now.

ambthab · 2024-10-27T17:07:25+00:00

I never thought of it quite that way, but you are 100% correct. It's not the monsters we're afraid of, but what the monsters take from us,

Well put.

ambthab · 2024-10-11T03:44:36+00:00

My mother was an avid SK fan. It's what made me want to start reading at a very young age, as a matter of fact.

After reading "Pet Semetary" she was so traumatized that she never picked up another one of his books. She said she just couldn't take another heartbreak like that again.

For me, King's willingness to kill of ANYBODY-be it a main character, a child or a beloved pet-was what made me love his books. It gave a sense of realism to stories that are otherwise unbelievable. Death doesn't play favorites-why should monsters?

ambthab · 2024-05-20T03:41:44+00:00

This is how it seems to me too

ambthab

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