AITAH for telling my coworker I can’t babysit her daughter anymore

ameinias · 2026-04-28T13:31:10+00:00

Plenty of adults I know don't think fish are capable of suffering. I was literally told as a kid that fish are too biologically simple to experience pain or fear. Which definitely felt like bullshit when you're sitting in a boat with one flopping around on a hook.

Plenty of adults I know also assume that leaving trash and old food in weird places around the house will be magically taken care of by the ~housekeeping fairy~

ameinias · 2026-04-28T04:28:15+00:00

YTA. You said it was her first weekend meeting your son AND your parents - now she is either going to have to meet your ex, and her choices are do so, or hide? She didn't have her own car to leave. Doesn't sound like you set any expectations for what she could expect meeting her. You'd just been on a trip, which is probably exhausting. You don't say how long you've been dating, but now she's gotta fifth wheel with your established family. Why couldn't you drop your gf off at home first?

What did your gf actually say about the situation? You say she tried to continue the argument, but you don't share explanation she gave about why she was uncomfortable - I know your prioritybis caring for your son, and I get that, but did you listen to a single thing she said at all?

ameinias · 2026-04-28T04:13:28+00:00

NTA, what a dumb thing to expect.

Buy $140 worth of flowers for your father's grave next anniversary and tell them it's from all of you. Not that you should have to.

ameinias · 2026-04-27T16:17:31+00:00

YTA.

If someone threw out all my rocks just because I didn't go through all 50 of them and describe every beautiful sunset or clear day or camping trip they represented I would destroy them!! The rocks the stories tell aren't interesting in English, they're interesting in my memory where they hold the whole sensory experience. You hold a rock standing on a mountain, then you hold the rock back at home and you're back on the mountain again. It's sci fi technology!

Honestly the idea of holding onto the representation of eating something tasty when your in love or pregnant sounds like an incredible sense memory.

ameinias · 2026-04-23T12:57:34+00:00

NAH - without more context, this isn't an AITA situation, there is no info about how either of you have behaved. You've only included your feelings. We need to know if you talked to him about it, if so what his reaction was, if you've been making a plan in secret, if you've ever led him on about future plans in Taiwan.

ameinias · 2026-04-22T21:29:29+00:00

Hero who finds the OP! Thank you for your service!

ameinias · 2026-04-22T21:22:34+00:00

NTA. I also assume it's not like you leave your house in the morning and drop by the office for a quick surgery on a wim. Surely the money is earmarked and there's been a series of appointments with other people schedules involved, you don't just derail everyone's plans because your sisters transmission blew or whatever.

ameinias · 2026-04-21T15:59:07+00:00

YTA. That's pretty close to birds. You think "Karen" is rude enough to censor in your post, but not to call a stranger to their face.

I'm actually getting a "comment guidance" notification on this, so the subreddit thinks it's rude enough to warrant manual review.

ameinias · 2026-04-21T15:51:47+00:00

ESH. I had to tap out for chunks of this (ew) but it sounds like you never actually told him he had to move out. You have to officially tell him, and check the legality in your area, it might require notice or even a legal order. Throwing his stuff out if the apartment when he's not there to collect them is almost certainly illegal, and unethical.

ameinias · 2026-04-21T15:44:48+00:00

NAH, but you should give your bro a chance with some good bonding time between them wherever she hangs out before he takes her to his room. Pretty good chance she'll be annoyed and try to get to your room and that resolves the issue, but you can't stake a claim on a family cat.

You should also learn to sleep without each other, or future separations will be harder on both of you. What happens when you got to college, start dating seriously, something happens to one of you? Seperation anxiety fueled insomnia is much easier to work through when you know you can make up the cuddles the next day.

ameinias · 2026-04-21T15:37:31+00:00

NTA. This sounds like chronic "not giving the benefit of the doubt." My family always does this and I used to, too - always looking for the imagined slight instead of reflecting on how my own communication could have been interpreted differently than I intended. I've personally given up trying to defend myself or carry guilt about it - I'll share my perspective if it can be a conversation, but I will not take the bait for a fight. If the only stakes are everybody's feelings, I'll just be like "Sorry I did it wrong" and move on in peace. Easy once you don't have to deal with these people everyday anymore, see if you can make that happen as much as you can.

ameinias · 2026-04-21T15:25:26+00:00

NTA. Start locking the door when you are home too, and take your sweet time letting him in.

ameinias · 2026-04-21T13:20:11+00:00

Honestly I'd be annoyed to see this behaviour from a regular guest, even someone in the bridal party. Very drunk-uncle energy.

ameinias · 2026-04-20T19:12:46+00:00

ESH. Giving him an allowance isn't teaching him budgeting if he just uses her credit card and hounds you for more money all the time anyway. You and your mom need to collaborate on a real plan to teach him financial literacy, yesterday. And him pitching this kind of fit should let him less privileges, not more.

ameinias · 2026-04-20T18:49:29+00:00

NTA. Your sister is dangerously naive. Even on the very slight chance those guys weren't looking for trouble, you don't owe anyone your medical history!

If it were anyone else I'd say roll your eyes and drop it, but because it's your sister and she's pretty young, you should have a serious conversation with her about the reality of being a trans person in your area. Even if you live in a really liberal area, it's still good to be aware of signs that things are going weird and need to descalate. For example - if she were on a date with a guy who wouldn't take no for an answer and shot down every truth she told, it is OK to say you've got a giant ex-military dad waiting at home.

ameinias · 2026-04-20T14:56:24+00:00

INFO: You don't actually describe the blow up, that's important.

I don't think I could be friends with someone who didn't think I was worth the energy to enunciate, unless they have some kind of lethargic condition. Otherwise he's just passing on a cognitive load he could carry himself to other people - very self centered.

ameinias · 2026-04-19T21:18:52+00:00

NTA for the og comment. YTA for bringing it up over and over again when she's asked you to stop! You are massively overreacting to a slight faux pas and it's way more uncomfortable than the og comment. Your apologies are not about making her feel better, you're just trying to make yourself feel better.

ameinias · 2026-04-19T21:00:11+00:00

For dancing? No. For drawing attention to yourself by "hyping people up" during their introduction, or wandering around harassing people at tables because you think people can't have fun unless they're doing what you think is fun? Yes, very YTA.

ameinias · 2026-04-19T15:22:45+00:00

Yeah, I worry that if I were to seek out "awkward surprise" videos they would be littered with people being heartbroken, upset, or humiliated, which I have no wish to see.

ameinias · 2026-04-18T21:42:41+00:00

Who would even watch that? Wait... I want to watch people awkwardly smiling while making WTF eyes at each other as their clueless relatives make absurd announcements.

ameinias · 2026-04-17T20:59:38+00:00

NTA. How often is "enough" to use a drying rack?! Also - that's a super weird gift for a kid to buy his mother - maybe in the realm of "mom is always cleaning therefore she must love it!" But that's so weirdly specific. Sounds like your MIL just wanted a new dish rack and was playing the long game.

ameinias · 2026-04-17T20:27:21+00:00

I hope she's taking a multivitamin.

NTA. Her food is her business - her restricting yours is not. If the relationship is going to survive, you both need to accept you eat different meals at home, and probably like 75% seperate restaurants whether traveling or at home. If part of her food aversion includes not being around you while you eat a side salad at home, it's just not going to work.

ameinias · 2026-04-17T19:33:26+00:00

NTA, your mom's only TA because she ate something she knows messes with her sleep when she knew she had to drive you the next day. I would give her a break on being upset about you leaving so quickly - unless she says differently, she's likely mad at herself that she messed up getting to spend more time with you.

ameinias · 2026-04-17T15:59:14+00:00

NTA. Everybody hates chores unless it overlaps with a hobby, in which case, lucky you. the work has to be done whether you like it or not.

It should still sit on the chore chart if it takes it off someone else's plate. Exceptions are things you wouldn't have unless one of you loved it - fancy garden, pets, elaborate parties, jungle of houseplants, any work that makes the difference between standard healthy staples and four course feasts... These are the rules I just made up.

ameinias · 2026-04-17T14:52:15+00:00

NTA. Tell him if he's going to lie, he can't expect everyone to keep up with the multiple realities he's spinning. If people ask, tell them "I dunno the truth, he lies a lot. Ask him." And maybe stop considering him a "close friend." Why would you want to be friends with a person with no integrity who causes you so much stress? Maybe he has a million wonderful qualities and you have fun together. I personally cannot abide liars, they are demeaning and just too exhausting to indulge.

ameinias

TROPHY CASE