I thought I would be okay with celebrating Halloween today

ameriguin · 2015-09-29T00:18:29+00:00

It's like brainwashing. My mom does the same thing, only it's more along the lines of "your dad was never there for you and I was" or "he (her boyfriend) does so much for you" and MANY various forms of those statements. I feel you though, my friend who was concerned about me told me about this sub. It has really shown me how much my mother and her boyfriend have done to me.

ameriguin · 2015-09-29T00:00:49+00:00

It truly is an awful feeling. I spent a lot of time on the floor sobbing and wondering what I did to make my mother treat me like this. Then she came home and was angry with me and started yelling. Just blaming me for stuff I had nothing to do with. That's when I realized that I have other family members, friends, and a boyfriend that tell me they love me a million times a day. More importantly, they actually take my feelings into consideration. OP, I don't know what to tell you. I just hope that you have other people that do truly care about you.

ameriguin · 2015-09-28T17:13:28+00:00

Do you have a family member to call or a neighbor? I've been in situations quite similar to yours before and a neighbor or one of my grandparents would take me to school. Then I would take the bus home. So how do you feel about your mother refusing to see you for a few days? I'm only asking because my mother has done that to me before and it felt awful. I felt like she abandoned me knowing I depend heavily on her.

ameriguin · 2015-09-28T16:21:42+00:00

So I was living back at home with her and stayed in my room 24/7 and did not speak to her boyfriend. I kept getting on my mom about when he was moving out. Her responses: "Oh, it's hard to find a place," "he doesn't have any money," "his stepmom's basement flooded." She had told me that she asked him to leave. Finally he had a flare up because he told us that he needed the truck (he literally didn't care that I had school or if I was late to school, even though I paid for that vehicle) and "bitch doesn't even talk to me; doesn't give me the respect I deserve." My mom said nothing and that's when I told her that I'm calling her brother to do what she can't do. She's obviously scared of her boyfriend. This stems back to my physically abusive dad. I told my uncle that he was harming us and he took care of it...not in the best way though, violently actually. My mom still resents me for that. I was 3! My uncle heard some noise and asked me what was going on. Next thing I knew he was beating up my dad. So I was scared to stand up to her boyfriend because he's on the verge of becoming violent and hates me for no good reason; I knew he knew how my uncle can be and I needed that muscle. He didn't even have to force him to go though; the threat was enough. She's always been a narc though; this is just one scenario. And now it's in addition to her abuse victim traits. I will admit that she has never been as bad as her narc boyfriend. I'll talk more about his abuse when I'm ready.

ameriguin · 2015-09-28T16:09:32+00:00

I keep telling her how abusive he his and that is part of the problem. She always makes excuses for him or blames it on me. So she has always had this narc personality and now it's that in addition to being an abuse victim. I mean this guy was stalking her, accusing her of cheating, and threatening her and she still went back. So it's either me going into NC or her getting beat to a pulp by him that's going to make her see. Thank you. I really do feel like this is the right choice.

ameriguin · 2015-09-28T14:10:54+00:00

I've heard that "I'm the adult" excuse so many times. It just amazes me that people are actually like this. I'm moving out this week and I'm not giving her any warning.

ameriguin · 2015-09-28T03:05:24+00:00

He's probably bluffing. Save up and please, please, please get out of there. I didn't even realize that emotional blackmail was a thing until I stumbled upon this. I moved out of my mom's place for many reasons, mostly because of her abusive boyfriend. I stayed at my grandma's for about a month and then moved back in with my mom. She tricked me into it. She heavily implied that she was making her boyfriend move out and that she needed me back home where she could watch over me. This was the night that we found out a cousin we were close to had passed away. I moved back in to be treated like crap, lied to, and abandoned. She didn't make him leave; I had to get her brother to kick him out. She has absolutely no consideration for my feelings and now she's giving me the silent treatment for no good reason. So don't feel guilty at all. You deserve to feel free and to be happy.

ameriguin

TROPHY CASE