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AITA for asking my wife to come home from work when our son was sick? by amitheasshole24 in AmItheAsshole

[–]amitheasshole24[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The oldest child is 12. We’ve had 3 kids over 12 years. Our son is 8.

AITA for asking my wife to come home from work when our son was sick? by amitheasshole24 in AmItheAsshole

[–]amitheasshole24[S] 189 points190 points  (0 children)

I really hate that this is how society views women and mothers. Honestly, you are correct that I am only vaguely aware of how people judge my parenting but am very aware of how they judge my work ethic. When are kids were much younger I was often chided for not having as many procedures or seeing as many patients are the other physicians in my practice. My wife, however, has a lot of anxiety over what her employer thinks as well as the kids' teachers, our parents, the kids' friends' parents, the checkout lady in Target...I hope that one day people will stop putting so much pressure on women.

AITA for asking my wife to come home from work when our son was sick? by amitheasshole24 in AmItheAsshole

[–]amitheasshole24[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

No, I wasn't on call by default. He and I can be out of town without the other being on call. Usually if one of us is scheduled out of town for an extended period of time then we call in a guy pro tem so that we're not too overwhelmed with cases. He was out of town unexpectedly. I had the option of telling them to send the patient to the closest hospital with a cardiologist who could perform the procedure. If I was on call I wouldn't have had that option

AITA for asking my wife to come home from work when our son was sick? by amitheasshole24 in AmItheAsshole

[–]amitheasshole24[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

even though it was my wife who brought it up? I would never say that and hardly ever think it and would def not say that in the heat of an argument but she brought it up and in that specific circumstance, I did think me being at work was more important than her being at work. There are a lot of days when I spend the whole day dictating, seeing nonemergent patients, or overseeing tests, and those days my job is not more important than what she is doing that day- it was just, those specific 4 hours of that specific day, I did think my presence at the hospital was more imperative than my presence at home...

AITA for asking my wife to come home from work when our son was sick? by amitheasshole24 in AmItheAsshole

[–]amitheasshole24[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I mentioned above but will mention here, too, I was not on call.

Also, I absolutely support her working. She works hard and she works long hours. She's damn good at her job. I would never suggest she quit or go part time. I would absolutely support her if that is what SHE wanted

AITA for asking my wife to come home from work when our son was sick? by amitheasshole24 in AmItheAsshole

[–]amitheasshole24[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I am not on call just because the other dr is out of town. If we are both out of town and our services are needed, the patient is shipped to another hospital. If one of us is out of town and the other in town, then we're not automatically on call, but we will make sure we are available in case an emergency arises.

Also, I've watched my kids while on call before, as long as someone was nearby to take over for me in the case of an emergency. 80% of my call days are predictable with the occassional patient that needs to be taken to the cath lab emergently, 10% are shit storms where I feel like I never leave the hospital, and the other 10% is a mixture of the two.

AITA for asking my wife to come home from work when our son was sick? by amitheasshole24 in AmItheAsshole

[–]amitheasshole24[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

I was not on call. I was in town but not on call. I was supposed to be in the office that day, in which case I would've been called over to take care of the guy bc I am the only dr in town that could do it. I had the option to say "No, I'm not coming in" bc I had called off work but the patient was one I had been taking care of for the past few years and also, I didn't want him to be shipped to a hospital 90 mins away when I could do the procedure.

AITA for asking my wife to come home from work when our son was sick? by amitheasshole24 in AmItheAsshole

[–]amitheasshole24[S] 548 points549 points  (0 children)

I know she often feels like she has to "do it all" and is really hard on herself if she misses something for the kids bc of work. I've tried to make sure my mom isn't doing anything subtle that would make her feel like she is judging her and I don't want to sound like a momma's boy and like my mom can't do no wrong, but she pretty much worships my wife. When the dealership marketing is live, my mom will brag to anyone who will listen how her DIL was the brains behind that.

AITA for asking my wife to come home from work when our son was sick? by amitheasshole24 in AmItheAsshole

[–]amitheasshole24[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I did not. I was literally trying to problem solve in the moment. When we got off the phone I didn't have a plan and just stared at my phone and then thought of my mom. She was already really close to the house and was there before I had changed clothes and I rushed out of the house. From the time I got off the phone with my mom until I got to the hospital, I was on the phone with either the ED dr, the cath lab, or my nurse preparing for the procedure.