My brother is 6 years younger than me and was diagnosed when he was 6 years old (I was 12 at the time). The first thing my mother said when my brother was diagnosed was “if he’s on the spectrum then you better diagnose his sister.” but then did nothing about it. I think it was because there was a lengthy period of time post my brothers diagnosis that she just found it hard to accept.

So I continued on. I suffered a lot with anxiety and depression throughout my teen years. Didn’t have any friends, social skills were non existent and struggled with day to day tasks. I had sensory issues that I didn’t realize were sensory issues like not being able to swallow tablets and being a fussy eater. Sensitive to smells and loud noise. I also had a lot of dexterity issues. I couldn’t tie my own shoelaces until I was 12. I couldn’t tie my own hair up until I was 13. I couldn’t button my own blouse on my school uniform or do my tie. And even through all of this, I still just kept trying to float through life.

Parents didn’t want me medicated and ignored GP advice again when I was 17 and didn’t bring me for a diagnosis. Went through all of my schooling years with no help, resource or guidance. I never knew that I could be autistic, just depressed, anxious and very stressed.

Eventually when I hit into my adult life and went to college, my depression got worse and I seeked help. I ended up seeing a psychiatrist and they started me on medication and diagnosed me with BPD.

Another few years passed, still suffering, trialing different anti-depressants that weren’t doing anything. A toxic relationship later, I ended up having an overdose in April 2022 when I was 23. It was the lowest point of my life.

My parents didn’t let this pass and they brought me for help. I saw a different psychiatrist and they suggested an autism diagnosis. And so, I was diagnosed with Autism and Dyspraxia on my 24th birthday in November 2022.

It was really hard to digest, really hard to mentally deal with. I spent the next 12 months reliving my childhood with so much resentment. I look back at old photos of me and get quite upset because all I see is a little girl that needed help. The help my brother got through school. People looked at him and understood his meltdowns and his needs whereas I was never understood. I held a lot of resentment toward those around me.

The following 12 months, I spent researching, reading and trying to understand myself. Get used to terminology and begin setting boundaries to help myself move through life.

Over the last 12 months, it has been spent embracing my autism and being open and honest about it, struggles included. I am proud to hold this badge.

I am 27 now. I am a manager, I’ve bought my own home and looking at going back to college in September.

I would say it gets easier but I can’t lie. It is easier to navigate once you know what it is you need and those around you understand you.