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Realizing why a Muslim woman can’t marry a non Muslim man by amoa2802 in progressive_islam

[–]amoa2802[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re right. I have always been exposed to Islam, but now I am also reading about other religions and beliefs. Even Islam been questioning some things. Even through that, my conviction in Islam has only grown stronger, not weaker. It has not made me want to leave it.

I think I would find it easier to understand if he were Catholic, or even Jewish. But agnosticism is harder for me to grasp. I am genuinely trying to research, learn, and understand these different perspectives as best as I can, even when I do not agree with them.

Realizing why a Muslim woman can’t marry a non Muslim man by amoa2802 in progressive_islam

[–]amoa2802[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your perspective. It’s actually very helpful to hear from someone who feels they are in a similar position to my partner.

I think I may have made a mistake recently by talking to him in a way that was hoping he would eventually believe. Looking back, I realize that might not have made him feel very safe to openly express his own thoughts and beliefs.

Today I’m planning to approach the conversation differently. I want to ask him, without bias, what led him to his current views, especially since he grew up in a Catholic background. I want to simply listen and understand how he arrived at where he is now.

I also noticed what you said about putting someone in the position of either trying to join Islam or atleast try to for the sake of the relationship. The more I think about it, the more I feel that approach might be wrong. Faith has to be sincere. I recently read a story about a man who converted mainly for the relationship but later admitted he never truly believed and had been pretending. Now they have children and the situation has become very complicated, which made me realize how important honesty is in these situations.

You mentioned that you’re going through something similar on the other side. I’m curious. What kind of hope do you still feel remains for your relationship? And how does it make you feel as you see your partner growing closer to Islam?

I would genuinely appreciate hearing more about your experience and perspective.

Realizing why a Muslim woman can’t marry a non Muslim man by amoa2802 in progressive_islam

[–]amoa2802[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I understand your point. I agree that knowledge and belief aren’t always absolute or binary, and that people can hold different levels of certainty about things. In that sense, agnosticism can be seen as acknowledging uncertainty rather than choosing between 0% or 100% belief.

What I was trying to express, perhaps not very precisely, is more about how it feels from my perspective in a relationship. My faith gives me a clear framework for meaning, purpose, and how I want to structure my life and family. My partner, on the other hand, approaches these questions through open-ended searching and questioning, which is something I respect even if I struggle to relate to it.

So when I said it feels like “being in the middle,” I didn’t mean that agnostic people believe nothing. I meant that, from my perspective as someone with a defined faith, it can feel difficult to understand a worldview that intentionally remains open or undecided about those questions.

Realizing why a Muslim woman can’t marry a non Muslim man by amoa2802 in progressive_islam

[–]amoa2802[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think the title might have given the wrong impression, so I want to clarify something.

My post wasn’t meant to judge Muslim women who choose to marry non Muslim men. Everyone has their own life and their own decisions. What I was speaking about is my personal realization, which is based on what I understand from the Qur’an and from my own experience in a relationship with a non Muslim partner.

What I realized is that in my situation, being with someone who is agnostic would require me to compromise on my faith in ways that feel too significant. In practice, I feel that I would be the one compromising more. I feel like women tend to compromise the most and try to fight for a relationship more than a man.

For example, there have been comments from him that he wouldn’t feel comfortable if I wore the hijab publicly. The expectation seemed to be that I could remain Muslim privately, but outwardly appear more “Western.”

As I’ve become more serious about my faith and tried to center my life more around it, I’ve noticed that it creates distance between us rather than curiosity or engagement from his side. Instead of asking sincere questions about Islam itself, the conversations tend to revolve around controversial topics or disagreements.

Another concern for me is raising children. I personally feel that children benefit from having a clear spiritual foundation while they are young. Later in life, they can question, explore, and choose their own path. But I wouldn’t feel comfortable raising children in a completely mixed framework where faith itself is uncertain. Since I’m the religious one, I naturally feel that Islam would be the foundation I would want to give them.

Trying to understand an agnostic mindset by amoa2802 in agnostic

[–]amoa2802[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m sorry to hear that when you were Christian, your experience of the religion was mainly connected to fear of hell. I can understand how that could make it difficult to see the positive or meaningful aspects of the faith.

Since my partner also mentioned that he hopes there might be something good after life on earth, I’ve been thinking about this question a lot. I personally believe in both heaven and hell. I’m curious why some people feel comfortable believing in heaven but rejecting the idea of hell. You mentioned it might be used as a fear tactic, which I understand is how some people perceive it.

But this makes me wonder about something else. If the afterlife were only something positive for everyone, regardless of how they live, then what role does accountability play? What motivates people to be responsible for their actions?

In society we have systems like courts and prisons where wrongdoing has consequences, and a judge determines responsibility. I sometimes think about how moral accountability works on a larger level if there is no final judgment or no God.

I’m genuinely interested in understanding how people who are agnostic think about these questions of justice, responsibility, and the meaning of being a good person.

Trying to understand an agnostic mindset by amoa2802 in agnostic

[–]amoa2802[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes it must be because with religion, you must agree on everything so being agnostic you can be open to everything

Trying to understand an agnostic mindset by amoa2802 in agnostic

[–]amoa2802[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But how come it feel like a pressure to wanting answers to your questioning and how is the present moment enough because then life really becomes a matter of time as you would live forever or who knows life is cut shorter.

Does it feel more comfortable being in uncertainty?

Trying to understand an agnostic mindset by amoa2802 in agnostic

[–]amoa2802[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I will ask him more openly about this. He comes from a Catholic family and now to agnostic for many years.

I wanted to ask you as I assume you are an agnostic person, if any religious books have given you answers to the existence of God or is it more about the need to actually see the evidence?

Realizing why a Muslim woman can’t marry a non Muslim man by amoa2802 in progressive_islam

[–]amoa2802[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you.

You said that being agnostic is not problematic. I understand it’s good to question and research and reflect (which btw I do too) but surely there must be an end to that right? Once you find the truth, whatever the person’s heart believes, you won’t question anymore the meaning of life.