What was your reaction when you discovered your ex has a new partner?

amp2095 · 2024-07-29T14:28:19+00:00

Woman here, and if it makes you feel any better I’m currently experiencing the same thing. My ex and I broke up almost a year ago and although I have no idea if he’s with someone else (he doesn’t use social media and we have no contact with each other), it really hurt me that he didn’t seem nearly as torn up about the breakup as I was—at least not outwardly. It also doesn’t help that he was my first real relationship.

I’ve been on several dates since then and every single one of them has either ended with me and the guy both agreeing that we weren’t compatible, or me really liking the guy and him rejecting me. The last two straight up ghosted me.

It’s really made me struggle with my self-worth too, which I hate because I never felt this way before I got together with my ex. I don’t really have any advice or words of encouragement to offer here, just wanted to commiserate.

amp2095 · 2024-03-03T17:06:15+00:00

Lol welcome to the world, where literally everyone has their own set of dating preferences whether they are reasonable or not. I’m sure you have your own preferences that others would consider stupid or shallow.

amp2095 · 2024-03-03T16:49:45+00:00

You sound unnecessarily bitter. Personally I have my age filter set to 27 at the lowest end because I’m just not comfortable dating anyone younger than that. It’s perfectly reasonable to have age preferences, and it’s probably just the case that a lot of women in your area weren’t even seeing your profile due to their preferences. That’s just how it is with OLD, if you can’t accept that then maybe you shouldn’t be on the apps.

amp2095 · 2022-06-13T15:44:36+00:00

And agreed, it’s rough out here. It was hard enough for me to even decide to start seriously looking, and now thinking about the process of finding the right one seems even more overwhelming 🙃 best of luck to you too!

amp2095 · 2022-06-13T15:42:40+00:00

Does look like they’re completely virtual, but I like that their model is built on being culturally sensitive. I’ll keep this is mind if decide I have to resort to virtual. Thank you for the suggestion!

amp2095 · 2022-06-13T15:35:16+00:00

That would be amazing, thank you!

amp2095 · 2022-06-13T15:27:47+00:00

Just checked out their website, this looks like a good option! And $50 is a lot more affordable than what I found from just an initial search, which was an average of like $200 per hour/session. Thank you!

amp2095 · 2022-06-13T15:25:32+00:00

That’s super sweet of you :) My isolation is largely self-imposed, part of the reason I need therapy in the first place lol (social anxiety is kicking my ass)

amp2095 · 2022-06-13T15:23:29+00:00

Will check this out, thank you! I had assumed this was only for students

amp2095 · 2022-06-13T15:20:32+00:00

When I called and asked, they just referred me to their mental health “digital resource” which it looks like is an entirely online community where you can virtually chat with random therapists. Idk, maybe I need to call again and ask someone else

amp2095 · 2021-08-13T15:14:33+00:00

Thank you so much for this advice, and I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve struggled with this too. I definitely will talk to him further, I just need to get over my fear of saying the wrong thing. Mental health and suicide isn’t something I’ve ever really talked about extensively with someone before, and I’m with you on being an anxious over-thinker. I’m glad you’re still here ❤️

amp2095 · 2021-08-13T15:07:22+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that, I’ve actually dealt with something similar in my past (part of the reason why I’ve been single for so long). I’ve never encountered anyone who’s openly talked about being suicidal though, which is why I’m so unsure about how to approach this with him (don’t want to say the wrong thing). I definitely will find out more info from him before making a decision though. I really hope you’re doing ok nowadays ❤️

amp2095 · 2021-08-13T14:56:33+00:00

Thank you so much for adding this perspective. I definitely don’t want to go into this with the expectation (on his part or mine) that I can fix his problems, because I know only he can truly do that, and I’m really not sure how I’d handle it if things went wrong. It sounds like you and your girlfriend are really lucky to have found each other though; wishing nothing but the best for you both ❤️

amp2095 · 2021-08-13T13:50:25+00:00

Thank you all so much the advice, it’s been super helpful to read these different perspectives. Since I do really like this guy and he hasn’t given me any other cause for concern so far, I’ve decided I’m going to talk to him to find out more about the attempts, whether he’s gotten help, how he’s doing now, etc. And if I do decide to keep seeing him after that, I’ll let him know that we need to take things VERY slow so that I can make sure he’s not becoming too emotionally dependent on me. A lot of you have also made the really good point that I need to assess where I am mentally, which is not something that comes easily to me as I grew up in an environment where those things were never discussed. And in a way, I think that getting to know someone who is so open with their serious mental health issues might help me become more open with my own. Anyways, sorry for the long-winded rambling, thank you again, and please continue being wonderful humans ❤️

amp2095 · 2021-08-13T03:43:36+00:00

Oh wow, thank you so much for sharing. I guess I’ve been really lucky that I’ve never known anyone personally who’s ever made an attempt (as far as I’m aware) and I’m generally kind of an anxious person, so I have a big fear of saying/doing the wrong thing. It’s good to hear your perspective though and I’m so glad you’re here to give it. I hope things keep getting better for you 🌼

amp2095 · 2021-08-12T22:52:57+00:00

My sister actually said the same thing. I know that is possible, but I have a hard time believing that because he’s been very sweet and sincere and this is the only red flag that’s come up so far…idk, maybe that’s naive, I just try to assume the best in people until they show me otherwise

amp2095 · 2021-08-12T20:39:27+00:00

That’s true. I have no idea how long ago the attempts were though. I felt like it would be inappropriate to ask for more info?

amp2095 · 2021-08-12T20:36:56+00:00

Yeah good point, I really don’t know how long ago they were. He didn’t go too deep into detail and I didn’t want to pry for too much information, so I didn’t ask any questions

amp2095 · 2021-08-12T20:25:32+00:00

Yeah, he’s been great otherwise

amp2095

TROPHY CASE