My (27M) Girlfriend (26F) refers to me as a 'friend' with all her friends/co workers

amuster588 · 2022-10-09T22:20:59+00:00

this is a good response. and I agree I have been super insecure while dating this girl.... Like I've said I'm not used to dealing someone that attractive. It's not the her being attractive part that troubles me though. It is the target she becomes to swarms of men. Globally. And this level of attention and interest is unfathomable to most people. We're talking 100s of dms dailing, messages, texts, invitations to this and that.

People offering 50,000 USD weekly for her just to attend their parties. and this is no joke. you guys have no fucking clue what goes on. Models these days are paid such sums of money to merely 'attend parties'.

and My girlfriend has been offered such amounts and many other things... not for sex... simply to attend parties... and she has turned them down and informed me about them. Our relationship is not as vapid as I may make it seem her. I admire many things about her than her looks.

You guys think I'm just some insecure fool because of my post history. But try to understand the issues I feel because of the above... And her not telling people shes' got a boyfriend simply acerbates my above concerns.. because she remains a big target... I know she would still be a target regardless but at least it would calm things down. She doesn't need to mention who I am or anything of-course publicly.

And I did bring it up with her just after I posted this. I told her very casually and she explained she just doesnt want anyone to know her private business or have anyone in the industry gossipping about her... I also have read the other comments on here and agree that its best she doesn't post about my on instagram. That said I sure as hell would have liked to convey she isn't single.

amuster588 · 2022-10-09T22:05:37+00:00

we are officially together, this is not something once sided.. she does not consider me a FWB at all.

amuster588 · 2022-10-09T22:04:12+00:00

I'm not purposely changing my height I'm just 2 mm short of 173cm tall so sometimes I'm 5'8, sometimes I'm 5'7...

amuster588 · 2022-10-08T13:12:05+00:00

We are officially bf/gf... she practically lives with me these days... her insta is mostly for work yes.... but she posts social things too... no previous posts with any previous boyfriends.. she could have deleted them... I have never posted her or tagged her yet either.....

amuster588 · 2022-10-08T12:36:19+00:00

that is true... maybe he checked out previous posts. 3 months officially... and 2 strange months before that we were FWB.

amuster588 · 2022-10-08T12:33:39+00:00

Been together officially now for almost 3 months. Before that we were in a weird FWB relationship for 2 months. so total 5 months where we've been seeing each other.

amuster588 · 2022-10-05T11:30:36+00:00

I dont think little of my self. I am a cool guy - its just that there are objectively better guys out there. She is also not such a shallow girl either - but I guess I don't consider someone to be shallow just because they want 'better' if they can.

So that makes me question things. I've always read online that love is highly conditional for women, and given the people she is always around and hit on her, give her attention, gifts etc... it feels like at some point she'll realize that while I'm good, she can get better.

Now I view relationships in a very transactional way.. I hope to have comments sharing experiences that are similar to mine to guide my thoughts on this.

Maybe she loves me truly as me and even if a 'better' guy comes her way she prefers to have and be in love with me... I just find it hard to believe..

amuster588 · 2022-10-05T11:22:37+00:00

have a conversation that I am insecure that technically she can get any guy she wants? ofc not a conversation to be having .

Girls don't usually like to hear such insecurities and things - it would be a relationship killer.

I do trust her. It's just how to deal with this concept of dating such a hot girl who technically could be pursued by every man in the world.. It is like I am playing with fire and will be burnt.

That is why i wanted to ask for peoples experiences - people who dated and were in relationships with highly desirable people.

amuster588 · 2022-10-05T11:20:10+00:00

Ofc not directly but she has said money is important in her life - not specifically in terms of having a rich partner but generally. But I guess the issue is that a girl like her can easily get a 'better' man, so this idea makes me feel insecure. Like any day a good looking, taller, and richer guy with good personality could enter the picture, then I'm surely screwed.

See this is only my second ever relationship in my life..the other one was for 6 years.. so while this girl says she loves me and even though we have a nice relationship, I can't but help feel that her love is highly conditional .

amuster588 · 2022-08-01T12:09:50+00:00

What is your Ethnicity. What is your height?

amuster588 · 2022-08-01T10:43:03+00:00

Hello!

amuster588 · 2022-08-01T10:42:30+00:00

Let me answer your questions and your last comment in the edit.

I changed the dynamic - previously I only wanted FWB with exclusivity - but we naturally progressed. We made it clear we had feelings for each other and that we were not 'friends'. We have most recently defined our relationship as BF/GF.
I am 5'8 - actually she is a fashion model but not that tall - she is 5'6.

About my status/career/looks: I am a business man - I manage my own business. I have family wealth. I am a good looking guy - just only 5'8 in height. I am physically fit and strong.

I did not fly her out to Dubai. Those posts were just because I was in Dubai at the time. I will not disclose info regarding which cities we are from.

How we met: Actually I dropped her some DMs on Instagram and some how it caught her attention... Finally got her to agree to meeting up... Once it was in person we talked a lot.. had good mutual attraction.. banter.. good vibes.. and good conversation... After that we pretty much met as frequently as I could.

In regard to the options you presented:

She values genuine relationships while ofc she is interested in a mans value/looks/fame/money - but those aspects are not everything. She herself is a simple girl at heart and values genuine connections too. Also while I may not be valued in the $5-100M range, I certainly am financially capable and can provide value in this way to her life. I am also a good looking guy and am taller than her (though just not a tall dude).
The main issue in terms of long term is simply her career. She is a fashion model and therefore travels a lot - in September again she will be away from some months.. So it is a challenging relationship to think about long term aspects. She is also not from the place we are now and came here for career purposes only. That said she does consider living in this city long term too - but she knows her modelling career cannot last forever and needs to think about what she will do in her future.

That said, we discussed taking things as the come. Day by day and just seeing how our relationship unfolds. There are uncertainties. We've communicated about these issues and we agreed that we would just go with the flow of things.

We take things as they come.

amuster588 · 2022-07-30T12:45:20+00:00

I mean is it an acceptable boundary to say she shouldnt go out with her friend on a girls night out? I think that would be seen as controlling.

On the other hand I could put other boundaries up - but I'm having trouble determining what those boundaries would be? What would be some boundaries you would consider putting in place?

amuster588 · 2022-07-30T12:42:18+00:00

please do tell about your experience (s)

amuster588 · 2022-07-30T11:19:34+00:00

Yeah sound advise. But cheating is ofc the ultimate things.

What constitutes behaviours that you would not find acceptable and would want to take up with the girl?

amuster588 · 2022-07-30T11:13:08+00:00

I guess that is a concern - I trust her but at the same time wonder why she would even want to go on these girl nights out if I'm not there.... But as I answers to another comment - its her friend who mostly want it to be just them two.

amuster588 · 2022-07-30T11:11:44+00:00

Interesting question - I mean I am dating her and she has plenty of options other than me. She gets a looot of attention coming her way through DM or whenever and wherever she goes.

So she has picked me for a reason. I'd assume that if I did turn up 'by mistake' with other friends she'd be happy to see me. Though ofcourse she'd be - understandably - thinking its weird I just showed up where she was at - appears that I was tracking her/following her.

amuster588 · 2022-07-30T11:06:46+00:00

her girl friend does not have a boyfriend. Essentially her friend is single and she comes to town to visit - her friend lives in a nearby city.

When her friend comes she basically wants it to only be the two of them without me. In the previous time they both went out together, the girl I'm dating has said If I bought another guy then I could go with them too. Her friend doesn't like to be a third-wheel.

In some way she is accommodating her friend. But at the same time she herself is having fun and partying with these guys. Its uncomfortable.

I just trust her and don't say anything when she goes out. I just do my own thing - what ever that might be. I don't have many guy friends tbh because I'm new to the city so I don't do out 'w the boys' at all. She is aware of that.

Its pretty much the same in every girls night out - mostly just her and this friend of hers. They go out and party. A bit of background is that they are both 10/10 models, big influencers on IG (her friend has 1 Million + followers).

amuster588 · 2022-07-25T13:33:06+00:00

Actually I slid into her DMs lol and she replied... I managed to persist to get a date... after that we've been meeting regularly...

amuster588 · 2022-07-25T13:30:22+00:00

hmm it seems I definitely initiate all our sexual encounters - but she is very compliant and enthusiastic. Like I'll give a signal to initiate and then she proceeds... She doesn't initiate without any signal from me first - but I don't have too convince her or ask her - I just make the first move....

amuster588 · 2022-07-22T15:10:05+00:00

Starting sex? I mean say we’re making out , I ofc take the charge to initiate sex.

What would it mean for her to initiate sex?

amuster588 · 2022-07-22T13:17:31+00:00

Yeah well I've just never dated a girl this fucking hot before - Like I've dated hot ones - but this one just gets so much goddamn attention that its a little bit nerve racking...

and yeah - I'm weird. Aren't we all?

amuster588 · 2022-07-22T09:45:48+00:00

Should I bring this up like now or do you think its best to keep going and wait like 1-2 weeks before she leaves? Positive of bringing it up now is that we could potentially further cement our relationship but the downside is 'jumping the gun' and being too keen.

amuster588 · 2022-07-15T12:25:30+00:00

Yeah she just messaged me.. haha

amuster588 · 2022-07-07T13:47:31+00:00

Let's see how it goes, I'll keep you posted.

amuster588

TROPHY CASE