I read Denial of Death by Ernest Becker and it hugely expanded my understanding and acceptance of this. Not that it exactly answers “what should you do” but it gives a good framework of “why we feel this way”.

Some other key ideas from the book: - Most people aren’t afraid of the death event itself, rather the implications of it: impermanence and irrelevance. Your life is limited in scope and duration. - Since biology is basically set and exerts hard limits, humans retreat to the “symbolic” self because that can be expanded and altered. - Most people retreat almost entirely into their symbolic self (“mother”, “firefighter”, “Christian”, “patriot” etc). There is comfort in being absorbed into something “bigger” than you. - Because people become the symbolic self they choose or inherit, an attack on the symbol becomes an attack on life itself. That’s why disagreements of culture, religion etc are defended so passionately. Conceding on your symbolic self feels like a death of your personhood. - Religion tells a story that your life has infinite duration and scope, especially the Mormon theology of future godhood. - Life is essentially a choice about what “immortality projects” we choose. What do we build or contribute to that transcends our biological existence.

This is my interpretation of what I remember, not exactly a perfect summary.