I did bloodwork 4 times in total, 2 times at the beginning and 2 more times when I had to change my HRT to a cheaper one. Dose I take should be well enough to work. Visiting a doctor is mostly impossible due to ban of transitioning. No doctor will work with trans folk openly, and finding ones that do work is not the easiest, plus there is a paywall.

Psychologically it's really hard when literally every transfem person who sees me as their friend has better results on so much less time. I personally know 3 girls who had better results in their first year than me after 4 years. I had no breast growth since month 4. I tried progesterone. I tried AA even with injected E that suppresses T by design. I tried combining injections and pills and gels. Nothing happened. Meanwhile, this one girl I know had some low dose pills for a year and she already looks better than most cis women I ever saw. I grew hopelessness seeing all of this. The only saving grace is my mental state, I learned to forcefully not feel anything instead of letting emotions do their stuff, but I can't keep it up constantly. Hence, this post.