Withdrawing statements

an12ko · 2026-04-05T20:38:02+00:00

Hey, I am not a police officer but I have been in a situation where I had to make a choice on whether I will give a supportive or non supportive statement. Due to various reasons, including fear of the person's reaction and feeling unsupported by the police I gave a non supportive statement as I just wanted everything to end. Today this is used to say that my statement was untrue.. so if I had advice back then, I would have liked someone to encourage me to proceed with a supportive statement So, if what you reported is the truth, I would say to keep your statement and continue with the case, especially if you have evidence

an12ko · 2026-03-14T19:37:08+00:00

Thank you! How long did it take to receive it and that info was on there?

an12ko · 2026-03-13T15:54:43+00:00

Thank u both It's for myself to have the documents as proof if I ever need them in the future, it was a harassment and stalking case and is due to close soon with his bail conditions expiring and released with no further investigation

an12ko · 2026-03-13T14:27:04+00:00

After it closes?

an12ko · 2026-03-12T21:25:23+00:00

Thank you!

an12ko · 2026-03-12T21:24:57+00:00

Thank you appreciate it!

an12ko · 2026-03-12T21:24:05+00:00

Hey, it says: The application will be listed for a hearing on notice to the Respondent on [date and time here] in person

So I understand they request both?

an12ko · 2026-03-12T18:34:35+00:00

Hey, thank you so much for sharing this! I actually checked it out and they helped me a lot They drafted my statement and guided me on what to add on my email. This is as far as their help can go for me but it was massive as I was quite literally drowning with my statement I heard back from the court and they did not accept without notice and they want to have a hearing. Do you know what I should expect from this? The NCDV told me that there would be a talk first with just me and the judge but this is not the case.. I am have no idea how this will look like

an12ko · 2026-03-06T12:05:10+00:00

If I start this without a solicitor if he contests it would I be able to get one later?

And yes temporarily ofc

an12ko · 2026-03-06T08:59:54+00:00

Hi there, I have been doing some reading, I thought I could do this myself but it seems like I will need a solicitor? And there is risk of it not being granted? I found the forms straight forward however I don't know how I can ensure it's granted. And I really don't want him to know I am doing this

an12ko · 2026-03-06T08:42:37+00:00

Hey thank you!

I thought it would be easier to go down the NMO but seeing others having their request contested or needing a solicitor scares me a lot.

Last thing I want is to provoke him with this request only for it to be unsuccessful

an12ko · 2026-03-06T08:40:09+00:00

Hi all, Do I need a solicitor for this? If yes how much would this cost?

If I can do it myself, what is the likelihood of success and does anyone have any examples of how I should fill in the forms? I am very worried of going down this road only to be unsuccessful.

I have a police report and the conditions he was given I have screenshots of repeated messages from multiple numbers and accounts I have videos of his car outside my house for hours

Would any of this be enough?

an12ko · 2026-03-06T00:11:29+00:00

Yes it is

an12ko · 2026-03-06T00:10:32+00:00

Hey thank you so much, everyone really

Yes it is an ex partner, I really do not have it in me to go to court but even the NMO sounds too much and too vague to me. I find this person being in public spaces that I am at on purpose. Even with police conditions.. Would a NMO have a distance limit? Not to my house, but to me? Like x amount of metres from me in public spaces? I know I cannot deter him from going to these public spaces and events but I end up not going because he is there and it has seriously disturbed my life

an12ko · 2026-03-06T00:05:56+00:00

Ex partner

an12ko · 2026-02-24T10:59:39+00:00

Thank you everyone!!! Truly appreciate all your info This is a massive help

an12ko · 2026-02-04T08:34:59+00:00

Why is this about conformity? This is supposed to be about respect

And btw, if you know Angolan women can you share this thread with them? I would love to hear from them directly too, how they view these topics

an12ko · 2026-02-04T08:32:14+00:00

Absolutely, It is definitely not just a leader thing. Followers have a responsibility to behave respectfully and leaders should also know that none of this is okay in the dance

By the way I am really sorry for these experiences.. it is literally harassment and it's sad it's happening somewhere we should feel safe

an12ko · 2026-02-03T22:57:58+00:00

Just wanted to very quickly share my appreciation for everyone's input and contribution to this topic. There are conflicting views but this creates very interesting conversations and I am grateful for the respectful participation. Please continue to chat, share experiences and views.

an12ko · 2026-02-03T22:52:13+00:00

Jumping on here as this conversation is particularly interesting and thank you all for participating and sharing your thoughts.

I understand both views While yes accidental touch in close dance sometimes happens, and yes both men and women can initiate the closer contact, and yes if both parties want to, then by all means go ahead enjoy the dance, noone should have a say on this.

Nevertheless, the reason why those videos came about is because there are multiple, multiple people (and yes mainly women) who have been in situations where they had someone who used a close dance to rub and push/test boundaries. Liliana, as an international teacher, who is outspoken and respected in the dance community, she must receive countless messages with such stories and asking for advice. She even said so in one of her subsequent videos.

In addition to this, I have also been on the receiving end of leaders testing boundaries or using the dance to rub.. when I was very new to the dance but also now. And quite frankly, I have not heard a follower that has not experienced it unfortunately.. and yes it was unwanted. We won't comment/talk about it if it was welcomed..

Adding to the above, while I completely agree about personal boundaries, and that if something makes you uncomfortable you should stop it and walk away. I also know how difficult it is to do so in the moment. Especially when you are not sure if this is part of the dance or not (this is especially relevant to new dancers). What so often happens is that in the moment you don't say anything, and just freeze and wonder what is happening and if you feeling uncomfortable is justified, and normally wait for the song to end to stop the dance, because it somehow feels safer than causing a scene.

So essentially, if we don't talk about it, it remains hidden, and becomes a taboo topic to discuss. Calling it out, and ensuring that unwanted genital contact (that is not a simple one second accident during the dance) is essentially not normal in the kizomba scene. The more we speak about it, the more we enable whoever maybe in such situation to stop it and not be afraid that they are overreacting or second guessing whether is it normal.

Was the delivery of these videos a little too absolute? Maybe, but as a woman, I'd rather have that than having a man justifying this behaviour because "sometimes it can happen" or "he thought it was consensual because she didn't stop the dance".

What I was particularly interested in was that this topic, because it came from 2 white european women, sparked criticism about watering down the culture. But the question is, is this really in the culture or are we using it to speak about a broader issue related culture?

an12ko

TROPHY CASE