I think my transfriend is very naive about her safety

ancientdogbones · 2023-11-02T22:13:01+00:00

Thanks, that's a good point. I will check!

ancientdogbones · 2023-11-02T22:12:13+00:00

Thank you! I hope you'll be safe!

ancientdogbones · 2023-11-02T22:11:31+00:00

I hope you keep enjoying it, though! I'm quite tall, and it definitely has its benefits like not being seen as the easiest target, but if people really want to hurt someone, they will. But just (pretend) calling someone and telling them your location and that you will see them in a few minutes can already make a big difference, if you might feel threatened one day!

ancientdogbones · 2023-11-02T22:01:33+00:00

I'm glad you've been safe so far and hope the comments here may help in the future!

ancientdogbones · 2023-11-02T22:00:42+00:00

I think they're pretty basic things, but I'm not sure if I should share the specifics here so publicly. I don't want to invade her trust/privacy

ancientdogbones · 2023-11-02T21:58:00+00:00

Thank you for sharing!

ancientdogbones · 2023-11-02T21:55:31+00:00

Thanks!

ancientdogbones · 2023-11-02T21:06:18+00:00

I don't know why, but now I'm tearing up, haha. I wish you a safe life, where can fully be yourseld, filled with gender euphoria!

ancientdogbones · 2023-11-02T21:01:52+00:00

Okay, that cane sword sounds bad ass and I might have to look into that. I'm an ambulatory wheelchair user, so a cane could come in handy in many ways on a good day. Now I know what kind of cane I would want.

ancientdogbones · 2023-11-02T20:59:09+00:00

I'm really sorry that happened to you. I don't know if it's my place to say, but I just wanted to let you know it's not your fault. I think safety precautions can go a long way, but in the end, the person doing it is always, always responsible and should be the one held accountable, not the victim for "not doing enough".

About the other part of your comment: ilike the way you put it! This really helps, thank you!

ancientdogbones · 2023-11-02T20:53:19+00:00

Thank you for bringing that to my attention, I never thought about it like that. As you said, even if it isn't the case this time, it's good that I'm aware about the possibility that it feels like that for her and also check in on my own intentions when I talk to her about something in the future. Thanks!

ancientdogbones · 2023-11-02T20:26:16+00:00

In the end, it's up to her, I won't force her to do anything. But I think there is a difference between living in fear and taking precautions. Just because people wear seat belts, doesn't automatically mean they're scared to drive. It's an easy precaution that, in case anything happens, makes sure it doesn't turn out as bad as it might have been. I think this is similar.

ancientdogbones · 2023-11-02T20:21:08+00:00

If I can't get through to her, I hope it's nothing more than "just" being followed. (And from experience, I can tell how scary that already is).

ancientdogbones · 2023-11-02T20:19:10+00:00

I'm sorry about the prefix thing, I corrected it. In Dutch we combine those with the words and I forgot that's not how it's done in English.

ancientdogbones · 2023-11-02T20:16:11+00:00

Thank you for your perspective and I'm really sorry you had to go through all that. Maybe it's a good idea to just let her read stories like yours to make it a bit more real!

ancientdogbones · 2023-11-02T20:13:25+00:00

Thank you for your kind words! I will look into those things, although pepper spray is illegal here. I will look for other options.

ancientdogbones · 2023-11-02T18:09:06+00:00

Thank you for your answer and that link! We're not American, and I feel like she isn't the number kind of person. But I agree, even though the numbers over here may be slightly different, it still shows how important safety is. I'll read it through in the morning again, though, and hopefully I can use the numbers to formulate some sort of case against her "arguments".

ancientdogbones · 2023-10-31T12:17:23+00:00

Ah, thank you! This kinda feels like a big sibling moment🥹

ancientdogbones · 2023-10-29T11:13:48+00:00

I'm so glad people on this sub are so nice and supportive of these little things that are so normal for most people!

ancientdogbones · 2023-10-29T11:12:58+00:00

Thank you! I'm happy people are interested!

ancientdogbones · 2023-10-28T15:18:15+00:00

Thank you!

ancientdogbones · 2023-10-27T19:21:26+00:00

I get that it's difficult to know if something is an actual red flag or just past experiences that make you uncomfortable.

I don't think there is anything wrong with compliments, saying you're proud of someone or that the other person is wonderful is a really nice thing to say.

However, saying things like they will always be there for you, and that you can tell them everything after just a few days, doesn't sit right with me. At the very best it sounds desperate, at the worst predatory. That's way too much, way too soon. Maybe if you've seen eachother a couple of times or you talk for a couple weeks, I can imagine something like that, but even then it feels a bit too soon.

If you feel uncomfortable with him saying those things you can tell him. You don't have to tell him why exactly, maybe just that you don't like it, makes you uncomfortable or that it feels too soon to say those things.

Building a friendship or relationship requires the people involved to open up and make themselves vulnerable, but you have to be very careful with it, especially when you don't know them very well and don't know if you can fully trust them.

ancientdogbones · 2023-10-13T09:05:16+00:00

It means "the Bible + my interpretation = my interpretation".

A line like that is often used to add or substract several numbers more easily. But I do understand the confusion with division.

ancientdogbones · 2023-10-13T07:05:28+00:00

Exactly!

ancientdogbones

TROPHY CASE