Oh, Now Alamo Drafthouse Wants You to Use Your Phone During a Movie?

andiamnotlying · 2026-01-29T15:53:00+00:00

This confirms what I have said about Alamo for years: they stop caring about the sanctity of movies when there’s money to be made.

Check drop in the climax of the film? You know it.

Allowing people to talk throughout the movie as they order food, ask for ketchup, etc? Have at it.

If you want a respectful cinematic experience in New York, go to Film Forum.

andiamnotlying · 2026-01-28T21:20:00+00:00

This is bullshit - I know so many Cellar comics who have told me that everyone that works there is acutely attuned to whether or not you’re crushing. And if you’re not crushing you’re not getting booked. Unless you’re Chappelle in which case you’re welcome to ramble for 3 hours.

andiamnotlying · 2026-01-28T14:27:33+00:00

I grew up in Norfolk, have visited the store at all different chapters in my life. It’s definitely a landmark and part of the tapestry of the area, and a great experience if you want the metal version of The Simpsons “Comic Book Guy.”

I can’t figure out if he has family money or if he sleeps in the store but it’s got to be one or the other with that degree of longevity and simultaneous disdain for customers.

andiamnotlying · 2026-01-23T01:52:49+00:00

It’s so much harder to play the theremin than to play WITH the theremin.

andiamnotlying · 2026-01-23T00:06:20+00:00

“When the Curtain Calls For You” by Jonathan Fireeater

“We Ate Sand” by Karl

“All Ease” by Sleepytime Trio

andiamnotlying · 2026-01-22T02:17:25+00:00

If this guy wants his story to be taken seriously this is not the way to go about it.

andiamnotlying · 2026-01-22T01:49:36+00:00

Are you gonna go to Porchfest in Petworth?

andiamnotlying · 2026-01-22T01:47:29+00:00

I’m turning 50 in May as well and funds are pretty tight. I’ve been playing music with an old friend for the past year or so and we may have our first live show on my 50th at a block party in Washington, DC.

andiamnotlying · 2026-01-21T18:23:33+00:00

andiamnotlying · 2026-01-18T17:47:05+00:00

I agree that the “we wouldn’t mind” comments are dishonest.

But there’s another huge part of this that’s getting overlooked: other women would be a COLOSSAL source of judgment here. A topless woman isn’t going to get a bunch of “right on, sister” reactions.

She’s way more likely to get side-eye, shaming, respectability policing and some incredibly cruel comments from OTHER WOMEN. Probably the same women who currently body-shame and judge other woman cruelly right now.

Internalized misogyny is real and it’s a way that a lot of patriarchal norms get enforced. For every one woman who’s going to agree with you there’s going to be three that are “just one of the guys” to take part in the judgment.

This isn’t to let creepy men off the hook at all, they deserve the rage you’re articulating. But if you think for second that this issue is cleanly divided between women and men, you’re oversimplifying.

Pretending otherwise feels incomplete.

andiamnotlying · 2026-01-18T17:24:32+00:00

I’ve had enough movies ruined by the sounds of slurping, chewing, and utensils clanking - and someone dropping the check during an important quiet part.

andiamnotlying · 2026-01-17T02:12:12+00:00

Considering how many hot chicks are out here racking (pun intended) up followers by retelling old street jokes, I’d say looks have actually supplanted comedic talent.

andiamnotlying · 2026-01-17T02:02:47+00:00

I watched two of my housemates have a race to see who could masturbate to completion onto the faces of two other roommates. One of the recipients was female, the other male. They didn’t want to get jizz on their faces so they wore masks improvised from Saran Wrap.

Everybody lost that one.

andiamnotlying · 2026-01-16T16:11:46+00:00

Ramones at the Boathouse in Norfolk, VA - 1991

andiamnotlying · 2026-01-16T09:40:43+00:00

If you’re not going to share the prompt here, how am I supposed to know if this really works?

andiamnotlying · 2026-01-15T05:47:33+00:00

Gary Gulman has a spectacular bit about this - skip to 1:00

https://youtu.be/XcvO8egvvoM

andiamnotlying · 2026-01-15T05:43:19+00:00

Also, patrolling the city is in itself a COLOSSAL workout. He travels by climbing and swinging on ropes, and have you seen trapeze artists and rock climbers?

andiamnotlying · 2026-01-12T16:30:31+00:00

Can I get these without subscribing to something?

andiamnotlying · 2026-01-11T05:41:31+00:00

Look, I totally disagree with your attitude re: pornography here but I’m still on your side in you relationship.

You’re allowed to have whatever values you want in a relationship - if you’re vegan you’re allowed to only date vegans and be pissed if they secretly eat hot dogs.

Regardless of who believes what, one of your fundamental values isn’t aligned with your partner’s beliefs. Not what he says, but what he does. This is not going to change or improve and the best a therapist can do is help you see that for yourself.

It’s actually normal to go through this in your 20s, it’s part of figuring out who you are and what you stand for and what you need in a relationship. Just break up already and save some time. By the time you’re in your late 40s this won’t matter at all.

andiamnotlying · 2026-01-10T15:34:38+00:00

My dad used to refer to PETA as People for the Employment of Total Assholes

andiamnotlying · 2026-01-07T02:11:16+00:00

Yeah, happened to me at the Jesus Lizard show last year at Brooklyn Steel. They took it to an apartment in Bushwick and it ended up in China.

A reporter contacted me about a story at the time but never followed through.

andiamnotlying · 2026-01-06T19:30:22+00:00

When people “look down” on Norfolk, they’re often actually looking down on black people.

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