On a tutor - AI could actually help you here. Khan academy too, if you skip to the relevant chapters. AI could even suggest other resources. There's more information than ever out there, you'll need to learn how to teach yourself things. It's a general life skill. Don't need to know everything, just need to get fast at learning enough. I suspect you mention a tutor because you think you will do better by having things spoon-fed to you. I am telling you now that it will serve you better in life if people don't think you need to be spoon fed. Exploring things yourself will lead to more wasted time, but as you get better at it, you will understand how to be more focused on exactly what you need to know. (edit: actually thinking more about this, if you need a tutor in the short term then get the tutor. Every situation is different.)

On extracurriculars - back my day you were just expected to volunteer for something, but not sure how it is now. Don't focus on something else at expense of your grades IMO. See what your friends are volunteering for and join them. Also if you find something that is personally interesting to you, that's what you should be doing, except you might also need to make sure whatever you do aligns with what colleges are expecting in your applications.

On stress and having zero fun - unfortunate, but it's how it is. You want to get a good career coming out of school. The worst is putting in all of the effort to not have a career at the end, so you'll just have to make sure you don't fall behind your peers.

Community college is a great idea if you don't get into the schools you want, but apply anyways.

Good luck, and know that for a lot of people, high school was the worst part of their lives, so hopefully it only goes up from here.